To not want bad news on my birthday

[dancingonmice]

MIL called at breakfast to give us some bad news. The husband of her friends daughter has very sadly passed away. We do not know this couple, but their baby was due on the same day as our DD, both first grandchildren so we were kind of connected by experience.

Have felt sad all day, what an awful thing to happen to a young family and completely out of the blue. But I think it was selfish of my MIL for calling to tell us this news on my birthday. She was upset so wanted to talk to DP but I feel like the right thing would have been to wait 24 hours or to confide in one of her friends. My MIL does push my buttons so I genuinely want to know whether others think I am BU or not?

Oh, come on OP! The world doesn't stop because it's your bloody birthday!! Reality check time. Someone's grief (yes, even MIL's) trumps nth birthday any time.

Also I agree with the poster who said that she rang because she suddenly feared for her son. It is not the natural order of things for children to go before their parents. And I do agree that perspective is difficult where MILs are concerned, but please try to remember that also is a mother and a person, rather than the bogey(wo)man. She may have made silly comments about your feeding at first, but if you scout around MN a bit, you'll see that it is extremely common for mothers and mothers in law to make silly comments about feeding.

Their starting point is what they knew and were taught back when they were having babies. They don't do it necessarily to make you feel bad, but because grandmotherhood rekindles many of the same insecurities as motherhood the first time around. The medical profession was not kind to new mothers back in the 60s and 70s.

Happy Birthday for yesterday dancingonmice! Sorry you felt down during the day - and I think your OP relates more to your relationship with you MIL than it does the specific question. Credit to you for your subsequent comments and hope the rest of the day was good.

YABVU