sorry, nbn, it was a joke lol, i was trying to broker the peace! i've never marched anyone anywhere in my life (except at work, and there i get paid for it) and am possibly the least aggressive person you are likely to meet. obviously my tone on this thread has caused you some trouble and for this i apologise (again, lol). no-one has ever taken me quite so literally before!
i've had quite a lot of experience with all sorts of sn kids (including one of my own, dd2), both dd1 and ds1 (NT) have a child with quite serious behavioural issues in their classes at two different schools (so i've seen how different schools handle problems as well - both good and bad) and i'm quite heavily involved with all sorts of local community groups (both adults and children, sn and NT). i run a local charity for sn children and young people providing out of school activities, and i'm also an lea school governor. none of this makes me an expert lol (it makes me a busybody ), but it does mean that i realise it is an impossible situation to sort just by chatting to other parents. and i'm well aware i'm biased on that score by virtue of my close relations with the sn community (in getting the children the support they need) and the school (by my critical role as part of the governing body ensuring that the school and HT are doing right by their pupils). unfortunately i allowed my bias towards getting appropriate support put in place at school colour my responses to your opposite view. call it fear that the child would remain without help for even longer, so it was with the best of intentions, even if clumsily executed.
i would also like to apologise for using the term 'bully' as it may have been misconstrued - again, my insinuation was not that 'i' think the ds is a bully, or that school ought to attach that label and treat the ds accordingly - quite the opposite -just that that may be the pov of the other parents whose children are being over-enthusiastically pushed and jostled. hence it would be appropriate to get professionals involved. i've been in lots of situations where i've had to explain to parents at the 'victim' end that in some cases the school can't provide appropriate support for sn without being told there is a problem, and that demanding expulsion for the child involved is not the answer - more support is. i didn't want to broach the sn question early on because dx over the web is impossible. my hope was that the school staff would be in a more appropriate place to determine whether sn of any description was a possibility, and could refer if they felt it necessary.
i genuinely don't want to have a barney with you, i was merely pointing out that school are going to have to be involved in order to get the OPs ds the support he needs (at school). i'm sorry that i made a couple of jokes at your expense - that was cheap, and i did try to apologise, but unfortunately you took my self-deprecatory humour at face value and assumed i really would march a parent to HT - it was a reference to a previous post, but i didn't make the reference explicit. feeble joke, but i was trying to broker the peace. i wasn't however, at any point, insulting, and so i would be grateful if you would extend me the same courtesy.
apologies, OP, i hope you manage to get ds the support he needs, however you do it. it's your call. good luck x