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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder how women can have kids under five and still manage to look good?

285 replies

fufflebum · 03/02/2009 15:53

I feel frumpy today. Anyone else?

Have a four year old and a nearly one year old.

AIBU to wonder how other women seem to manage to put on makeup and buy good fitting clothes???

I manage a shower and hairwash every morning but makeup and new clothes an impossibility.....!!!

Any tips?

OP posts:
SnowlightMcKenzie · 03/02/2009 16:57

Ooooh, MrsBadger, you'll have to come back and explain how!

I'm a very curvey short arse and NOTHING ever seems to fit me except for very buggy stuff. The clothes in the shops are always far too straight, and far too long as if they were made for skinny shapeless models and just widened for bigger sizes.

Actually, I resent having to say that I am a short arse. I am not. I am exactly the average height for a UK woman, and yet trousers in the shops still come up to my armpits.

I've tried petite (although I am not I am AVERAGE), but it is assumes you're of very slight build which I am not.

Okay, - rant over.....chip on shoulder

JoandMax · 03/02/2009 16:57

I only have the one LO who is nearly 7 months so imagine it's a lot easier than with an active toddler!

I always get up, give him his breakfast then he comes into the bathroom with me while I shower (normally singing silly songs!) then we go into my bedroom and I prop him up surrounded by pillows and sit facing him while I do make up then dry my hair. For some reason he LOVES watching me, I probably have better applied make up and straighter hair than when I ever went to work

Clothes however are another matter, I rarely iron so just sling on plain black jogging bottoms and a clean, if slightly creased, top. I do like the idea of woollen dresses though, like Snowlight would love a link to strretchy, warm ones that don't need an iron, he he

belgo · 03/02/2009 16:58

MrsTM - if I'm starving hungry, I put the baby down for the minute it takes for me to butter some toast. I wouldn't wait an hour.

georgimama · 03/02/2009 17:00

I don;t know if I look good but I certainly look groomed.

I find having a job helps.

I have no choice but to get up, put on a suit/smart dress, put on make up and leave the house by 8am.

Also, which applies to anyone, one Saturday morning a month DH has DS and I am at beautician having pedicure/manicure/wax. This keeps me hairless and human.

MsSparkle · 03/02/2009 17:05

I'll probably be beaten down for this but it is ok if you let your baby cry for 5 minutes whilst you have a shower/get something to eat. As long as you know they aren't really hungry/wet/dirty etc etc then it won't harm them to cry for a minute. I never understand it when parents take their babies in the bathroom with them whist they have a shower or even go to the toilet. If the baby starts crying whilst you are in the bathroom, you don't have to rush to them the second they start to cry. I understand if you have a toddler and don't want to leave them with the baby alone but otherwise i think it's a bit over the top to take your baby everywhere you go in the house just in case it starts to cry

SnowlightMcKenzie · 03/02/2009 17:07

Beldo, if my DS is in his bedroom and awake, then he headbangs the metal gate until his head bruises and then keeps going .

I like the wardrobe uniform idea. How do you keep the jewelery on the hanger?

BonsoirAnna · 03/02/2009 17:08

I'm actually more groomed than I was when I was working full-time - and that has been pretty constant since I became a mother. So much more time for frivolities .

harleyd · 03/02/2009 17:08

i agree mssparkle

for me, from out of bed to shower to makeup and ready takes half an hour tops, including straightening hair

georgimama · 03/02/2009 17:09

Bath with the toddler? That's what I used to do before I went back to work.

ScottishMummy · 03/02/2009 17:19

good haircut and regular appointments help.bit of tinted moisturiser,squirt of perfume feel nice

in post newborn period i looked like felt out a bin,was too tired to be arsed.once i got my motivation back it did feel better for me to be groomed

neverknowinglyunderdressed · 03/02/2009 17:21

I must say until my twins stopped the constantly puking and snotting on my jeans it was harder to look clean. But I was always groomed... in the sense of washed, clean hair, pefume, and make up....ok apart from the first 2 weeks! Now they are 5 its easier to dress better. Think the 'mummy uniform' idea is spot on. I get up at 8am (on non hair wash days) quick shower, make up (5 mins) and dress. Good jeans, cashmere jumper (from the supermarket) team with good boots and a great coat. Voila! Ready at 8.15 to make the breakfast. always look ok. I think if the stuff is there, hanging in the wardrobe - its easy to pull it out and go. Its the thinking about it the 'Aaagh what can i wear' that takes the time.

naturalbornmum · 03/02/2009 17:23

I think these women get up very early, in all honesty I can't be bothered. Sleep is too nice.

Umlellala · 03/02/2009 17:23

Posie Tint by Benefit.
Amazing.
Tried it on in Benefit shop and my lovely lovely friend bought some for me (possibly to hide the horror that is my old and haggard post-children face compared to her young pre-children looks)

Do agree that it makes you feel better to look better. Also agree with chucking clothes that make you feel crap away. I have recently adopted my two year old's approach to dressing (find things you like, wear them together) which has been loads of fun

SheikYerbouti · 03/02/2009 17:25

God, I am still trying to doscover this secret. I mainly look like a sack of shit

tinseltot · 03/02/2009 17:30

Before kids i used to really over indulge myself. It took me an hour and 30 mins every morning to shower, dry and style hair, choose outfit, put on loads of make up. It shocks me now to think that i managed to waste that much time every day!

Now i shower in 5 mins and take 15 mins to do make up and dress. I shower just before kids get up (so only out of bed 5 mins before them)and do my make up on sofa as they eat their toast and fruit. It will no doubt get harder when dd#3 arrives in 3 or so weeks.................! Wonder if i can breastfeed and do mascara at same time? Probably!

Don't really bother drying hair, if i do i just blast it for 2 mins.

Othersideofthechannel · 03/02/2009 17:32

I remember spending literally years looking at myself in the mirror at bedtime thinking 'I must tidy my eyebrows' but feeling dead on my fight and preferring the extra minutes sleep.

I have had more time to spend on my appearance since I have been able to safely leave DCs playing together in the daytime. They now play for reasonable periods without fighting and if the eldest helps the youngest climb onto the dining table she isn't likely to fall any more.

Clothes buying is still difficult. If you have the money to fork out in advance, you can buy several sizes and colour of an item from a catalog, try on at home then return those you don't want.

ScottishMummy · 03/02/2009 17:33

can do the shower,hair make up clothes,breakfast in

BonsoirAnna · 03/02/2009 17:34

If you have DDs they quickly get used to having joint pamper sessions - DD (4) loves me doing her nails and she would get very upset indeed if she weren't allowed to pass me the cloth strips when I am waxing .

SnowlightMcKenzie · 03/02/2009 17:36

This 5 mins to do make-up and shower thing really doesn't account for things like bushy eyebrows, spotty chest, dodgy fingernails and bracelet clasps does it?

And returning clothes.....well I have stacks of them that somehow I never found the time to return.

GossipMonger · 03/02/2009 17:36

Having to go to work helped me too.

TA at school so I cannot go and drop off the boys looking like a pile of poo!

Hair wash in the evening

Straighten in the morning

Do boys breakfast and leave clothes out for them to get dressed as soon as they have eaten.

8am go and get dressed which comprises mainly of a choice of 2 pairs of Tesco trousers (why pay out more as a TA at school?) and lots of tops and cardis and scarves and chunky necklaces which mix and match.

As boys put their shoes on I do makeup which is literally foundation and concealer, powder, eyeliner, mascara and lip balm. 4 minutes tops.

And I frequently get compliments at school!

Othersideofthechannel · 03/02/2009 17:37

Of course not all girls are interested in beauty.

claireybrations · 03/02/2009 17:52

Anna it is hard to have a bath/shower if you have a baby that screams unless you are standing up jigging them around.

With dd it was never a problem to look reasonably groomed but ds has been a whole other story! That said I have managed to shower everyday, even if it was 2pm before I did and even if I then just tied my hair back. I have also managed to always wear a bit of make up on the days I go out, how well it is applied has varied depending on how much jigging was going on during the application process though

I wouldn't say I look good, but only wearing decent clothes that fit me has helped me feel more together (and I make dh do the ironing so I don't have to worry about looking rumpled)

sparklesandwine · 03/02/2009 17:52

OP once you get yourself into a routine its fairly easy tbh

i have 5 dc, 3 of which are under 5

decide what you are going to wear the night before and get it out ready, that way you don't have to think about

if you can make sure you buy yourself some fab fitting jeans/trousers and also some fab boots as these will make anything look good with them, you can buy cheap tops etc from peacocks/primark/new look for the fashion side if you want

make up is the same get some 'good' foundation, a bit of powder, mascara and lippy

bob's your uncle half hour later you re-appear looking glam and gorgeous!!

naturalbornmum · 03/02/2009 18:00

Oh clothes are a different matter, i order most of mine online (and send back ones I don't want}. Having nice clothes makes me feel nice.

I would'nt be seen outside in a tracksuit.

I have a shower everyday although never style my hair but it looks ok as is bone straight (in fact never dry it either), rarley wear make up. Pre this pregnancy (3rd) I plucked my eyebrows once a week, shaved, manicured and pedicured etc - now I'm lucky if that is once a month as I'm too knackered.

I would like to wear make up and do hair but as i said I like my bed and there is always something better to do.

laumiere · 03/02/2009 18:18

Top tip: mineral makeup from eyeslipsface, it's £3 for a foundation, you just swirl it on with a brush, it's idiot-proof, has sun protection in and you can't overdo it. I use their foundation as a concealer under my eyes plus a blusher and the lightest eyeshadow to highlight browbone (applied with little finger). Then mascara. (Get the mini ones from Beaujois, they don't dry up before you finish them). Total cost: £10.50. Takes me exactly 7 minutes while DS is watching In the Night Garden and I always feel a million times better for it.