AIBU to expect DS to not be brought home early on bus and left on own?

[wangle99]

DS is 5. He attends local primary school which has a bus service due to location of where we live. DS goes on bus and comes home on bus.

Today because of weather the bus turns up early, leaves DS at end of our lane (by busy main road) on his own.

Luckily my PIL were home (they meet DS every day at 3.35pm) and DS walked straight to their house (we live next door to them).

The school phoned me at 3.30pm (I was picking DD up at school 30 mins away) and said 'just checking DS got home safe' I nearly crapped myself at that point. Luckily he did.

AIBU?

Well your little boy sounds very sensible, and did exactly the right thing. I don't think it's beyond the pale to trust a 5 yr old to walk a few metres to their own house by themselves.

No it's not, but how could anyone be sure there was someone waiting?

Reminds me of a time a few weeks ago when the school bus running to a village nearby elected to leave all the children at the top of the village, on the wrong side of a 1.5 metre flood. The children were aged 5 to secondary age, and they were left outside a farm at the top of the village. Luckily the older children took charge and phoned for a tractor to get them across the flood.

This sounds like 2 cock-ups occurring together - first the school clearly should have called you to let you know that DS was coming home early, and secondly the bus driver should have checked that there was someone there to meet your DS. DD1 comes home by school taxi and the taxi driver always waits until I've opened the door before he goes.

However, although clearly this was a mess up and Wangle99 needs to address it with both the school (which she is doing) and the bus company (and it sounds like the driver knows he messed up), I do wonder whether some people are projecting their own anxieties onto this?

Many children travel to school by bus or taxi every day, and many do so from Reception age. IMHO this is a good thing as it keeps cars off the busy roads; is more environmentally friendly; and means that more children are driven by professional drivers rather than their parents which has got to be safer. Sadly, a lot of parents don't use the buses or taxis they're entitled to, because of nameless fears, maybe of the sort of thing on this thread happening. BUT this sort of thing really doesn't happen that often, and you can't always legislate for cock-ups, just deal with them after the event and stop them happening again, which is what wangle99 is doing.

Bramshott - you are nuts.

Nobody on this thread has said that the whole idea of children using school buses or taxis is bad.

We are all simply appalled at the possible consequnces of this almighty cock up.

What if the boys grandparents did not live so close to the bus stop?

What if they weren't in?

What if he hadn't been so sensible?

The possibilities are mind boggling.

Imagine a 5yr old had been able to walk out of school at the end of the day before any parent was there to collect them. We would all be saying how negligent the school had been, but we would not extrapolate this to suggest that children should not go to school anymore.

Talk about missing the point!

Actually, I think bramshott has a point.

There are quite a few pupils ta school whose oaernts won't let them use the school transport for precisley this kind of reason.

And when I have told other parents that dd2, 5, gets the bus (with dd1 and a number of neighbours' chilsdren) people are shocked and ask how I can baer to let her on.

Wangle, I hope you get answers tomorrow.

When I was at secondary school, I used to get the school bus. One day, when I was 11, school was closed early due to snow, and the buses took us home early.

Unfortunately my bus got stuck in the snow about 3 miles from my home, at the bottom of a hill, and we were all turfed out to walk the rest of the way in a blizzard!

All of us had to walk across open common land, and most kids on the bus had to walk far further than I did. There were no adults supervising the children walking home, and the older kids just went off and left the younger ones to walk on alone.

Luckily for me, my dad was at home, because his work had been closed by the snow, and when I didn't get home when they expected me (I assume the school had rung to say we were coming home early) he set out to find me.

I was really struggling - it was snowing really hard, and I was carrying my books, and it was uphill - heaven knows how long it would have taken me to get home if he hadn't come to walk with me.

No-one really batted an eyelid at the time, though I think people would be far crosser nowadays - and the youngest child this happened to was 11, not 5 as in this thread.

The bus driver was very foolish to let this lad off on his own, and I hope he will be very sternly reprimanded.

When my ds was very nearly 5 he wandered off at home time - not being naughty just misunderstood an instruction to collect something - he was missing for no more than 5 mins but not only was his teacher distraught but the Head told me it had casue 'major repercussions' because he had been able to wander off unsupervised at such a dangerous time.

It is inconceivable to me that a child should be left to wander the streets alone ....

Our school was closed unexpectedly today - all 'bus' children (who had set out too early to get the message) were kept at school and supervised until a parent or authorised adult came to collect them; again there was no question of them just being sent back home to wander the streets.

I will definitely check back tomorrow to see what the head has to say in this case ...

Bramshott is wrong. The bus driver had a complete common sense failure here. The simplest thing to do would have been to keep the lad on the bus if there was any doubt. I am sure the local transport policies say exactly that. It is a no-brainer.

Interesting, Stayingsunnygirl. I am more used to snow than most, being half German and also having grown up in the deepest UK countryside, and we don't let kids tramp three miles through the snow unprepared in either place, so the UK shouldn't be any different. It is quite a different thing if kids have snow boots and ski jackets on and people know where they are, of course, with proper arrangements having been made. But you don't just drop anyone off in the middle of nowhere in a blizzard, surely, adult or child?

Ok, had a meeting with headmistress this morning.

The bus company phoned the school and said they were coming early. Bus company assures school they have phoned all parents of bus children.

Bus comes children go. School phones bus company to ask if they did really phone everyone. Get a different person who says 'no actually we didn't'.

School says 'did every child get met then'. Bus company says 'yes every child had somebody waiting for them'.

The school then phoned everyone checking, which was the point I got the phone call.

The headmistress was very apologetic and says will no longer take word of bus company (its a new company to that school run, only been doing it since 19th Jan). She is also going to speak to bus company also as they have lied.

I think I will write a letter to the bus company and the Lea? I'm really not sure where to go now as don't want to jeopardise DS on the bus but likewise don't want it to be unsafe for him and class mates.

Write a formal letter of complaint to the Chief Executive of the Local Authority and send it recorded delivery.

This is serious.

Bus company lied twice.

School did not check that the parents are notified. I would have though that was the school's responsibility. They are not supposed to release a child unless they have consent from the parents, I'd have thought this also applied to releasing early.

Headteacher's response woefully inadequate, IMO.

Bus company should have contract terminated.

Agree, should complain to everyone and anyone: Governors, LEA, MP - but not bus company.

Personally I would not be happy unless bus company sacked.

Boffinmum - this was back in the mid 70's - I'd be very surprised if this happened now. At the very least, I'd expect the bus driver to phone for instructions from the depot or the school.

In fact, thinking about it, we did get stuck right outside the pub in a little village, so the driver could have told us all to stay on the coach while he went to phone for guidance. He couldn't have taken us back to school, as the village was in a dip - steep slopes both ahead and behind.

I was in a better position than a lot of the kids on my bus, who had to walk further than me, and at least 2 miles over open common land.

At the time, it didn't seem wrong to me, even though I didn't enjoy the walk at all, and I don't recall my parents being cross with the bus company either - I suppose things were different then.

I agree.

For some mistakes, a simple 'sorry we won't do it again is good enough'.

For other mistakes, that is just not a good enough response.

I would also expect somebody to be held accountable for this and would forward my complaint onto as many higher authorities I could think of.

Too many people do not complain about things in this country, and when mistakes as serious as this occur we really really should.

Unfortunately, it is a sad fact of life that changes are only made after somebody kicks up a fuss. Or often not until something tragic has happened.

OP - Please please don't let them fob you off on this.

I think the fact the headmistress seems to be laying the blame firmly at the door of the bus company is quite shocking. Surely it is her and her staff's job to check with the parents rather than the say so of a bus company.

She is also going to speak to bus company also as they have lied.

Surely she should have done this right away i.e. the day it all happened.

Even if bus company called you (and they didn't)-- it doesn't matter! Because when they got to your house, they let him off alone. Our school bus policy is that if someone isn't home to collect the child, the child goes home with the next child being dropped off, if feasible.

Last year, a boy in my building in year 8 (age 12/13, I think?) was the last person being dropped off. His mum was not home and the bus driver sat with the boy on the bus, waiting outside the building... she wouldn't even let a 12 year old out... I took him inside (he even had a key to his flat, and he wasn't allowed to be dropped off). So that's more like it!

In 1979 my primary school closed because of bad snow (no roads open at all), and in those days not all parents were easily contactable on the phone during the day at short notice (no mobiles then). I was 11 and my brother was 7. Mum was a teacher and dad an electrical engineer with half the county's supplies down, so very busy.

We walked home but I knew my parents would be at work and I had no key, so I went to a friend's house near the school instead because I thought it would be more sensible (which caused other problems as nobody knew where I was).

But my mum was white lipped with anger at the school for letting me walk home with nobody knowling who would be there at the other end, and complained formally. She had been frantically trying to ring the school but it was constantly engaged (unsurprisingly). They subsequently grovelled.

I don't think much has changed since then from a common sense point of view.

Have only just seen this
I totally agree with Fimbo. Why is the headteacher blaming the bus company? Surely it's their responsibility to phone round and make sure all children are being met.
Definitely a letter to the LEA and the governors. Not good enough imo.

Legally the Head Teacher was in loco parentis, by the way, as far as I understand it. So the buck actually stops with her.

What a cop out from the Head! What are you going to do next? Keep us updated please.

The bus companyu should be sacked - they lied - twice, they are not reliable. I would be speaking to the head again and asking who is the new bus company (as she obvioucly can't trust this one!) and what check have been carried out to ensure their reliability.

I would also write to absolutely everyone else I could think of including the local press.

Keep us updated.

V. poor decision making by the Head. You really need her to explain thought process there. She is in loco parentis and she was neglegent imo. Definately change bus co. to a more reliable one. Inform everyone, pta govenors lea everyone.

Why did the school expect the bus company to ring everyone?
Our school bus couldn't get down our lane yesterday (icy slope on a bend), so they told the school and the school rang our house and spoke to us (we took them in by car), and then rang later in the day to make sure the kids could get picked up by one of us because the bus still couldn't make it down the slope. The school didn't leave it up to the bus company to find all the phone numbers of the kids (I don't think our bus company even has our phone numbers and certainly wouldn't have our emergency numbers, mobiles and the like).
I would send a letter to the school governers and to the LEA (actually I would ring the LEA as well, because it must be the LEA who gives out the bus contracts).