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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect DS to not be brought home early on bus and left on own?

132 replies

wangle99 · 02/02/2009 19:49

DS is 5. He attends local primary school which has a bus service due to location of where we live. DS goes on bus and comes home on bus.

Today because of weather the bus turns up early, leaves DS at end of our lane (by busy main road) on his own.

Luckily my PIL were home (they meet DS every day at 3.35pm) and DS walked straight to their house (we live next door to them).

The school phoned me at 3.30pm (I was picking DD up at school 30 mins away) and said 'just checking DS got home safe' I nearly crapped myself at that point. Luckily he did.

AIBU?

OP posts:
noonki · 02/02/2009 20:51

[Shock]

Original poster
wangle99 · 02/02/2009 20:57

I think its quite amusing someone has mentioned ofsted - they are coming tomorrow to ofsted the school

PIL didn't phone me as they presumed I knew, tbh my PIL are older and it wouldn't occur to them that I wouldn't know - they would think I just hadn't told them.

I said to the school that I didn't know if he was safe and they offered to phone my in-laws by which point I was trying to get them off the phone so I could phone and find him.

The more I think about it the way they phrased it makes me think it occurred to someone perhaps they should have phoned first.

OP posts:
Coldtits · 02/02/2009 21:01

Oh
My
Sweet Lord

I have a 5 year old son.

I think blood would come spurting out of my eyeballs if this happened to him.

Ring the Social Services - this is a child protection issue. You do not dump 5 year olds on roadsides in the driving snow - alone. If you did that to a puppy the RSPCA would prosecute.

Leo9 · 02/02/2009 21:01

that's what I think Wangle - they were panicking I reckon; otherwise why phone to check he'd got home safely? Someone suddenly realised what they'd done I think.

the very fact they were having to phone to check he was safe, is just terrifying.

I would be requesting a meeting with the inspectors tomorrow! Or phone Ofsted and ask for your information to be looked at by them. Go for it.

I'm so cross on your behalf!

Leo9 · 02/02/2009 21:02

Coldtits, you have described exactly how I feel

you have a way with words

loobeylou · 02/02/2009 21:04

wangle, i reckon they had tried to phone everyone and you may have been engaged/out of range for a moment, then they FORGOT they had not got through to you, is that possible?

still inexcusable mind you, i would have been mad if it was my Y2 and Y4 kids together, but a lone 5 yo....dreadful

thank god the PIL were in

DesperateHousewifeToo · 02/02/2009 21:08

I would not have a problem with the bus leaving early. In severe weather in could take longer to get around it's route.

What I find horrendous is that they left your son alone and that presumably both the driver and escort thought that this was ok

Where would they normally drop him? Would they bring him to the door or you wait at the end of the road?

Definitely cause a stink about this with the school and whoever runs the school transport. In my opinion, this would be a disciplinary matter as it affects a child's welfare/safety.

So glad your ds in mature enough to have got home safely.

LadyMuck · 02/02/2009 21:08

Flippin Heck! That is awful!

Does that mean that if for whatever reason your PILs are not ready at the stop to pick up your ds then he is just abandoned there? Regardless of the bus being unintentionally early (which may be just a one-off) I can't belive that any children's service could have such a policy these days?

So when taking to the school make sure that you check what the policy is if you or your PILs aren't there.

DesperateHousewifeToo · 02/02/2009 21:10

Even if they had spoken to all the parents, the escorts should hand over the child to a responsible adult before driving off.

Coldtits · 02/02/2009 21:12

So

What are you going to do?

And can you make a secret recording of whoever was responsible for this fuck up of monumental proportions, so we can hear them grovel, or EVEN BETTER try to wangle their way out of it?

Original poster
wangle99 · 02/02/2009 21:14

Thats a point, perhaps I was the only forgotten and everyone else got phoned. I don't know any of the other parents whose children use the bus so I could ask them.

They usually drop DS at the end of the lane and MIL is always waiting for him, I have a nasty feeling they would just leave him there on his own.

I have no problem with the bus leaving early (think great idea as massive hill and no way in ice would it get down/up) but a quick phone call is all it needed - if PIL not home I could have called one of our neighbours to wait for him.

Will definately call the school tomorrow, will let you know what they say.

OP posts:
Millarkie · 02/02/2009 21:17

OMG -that is definitely not acceptable. My primary age children also go to school by LEA bus which picks them up from our drive and drops them back. Our childcare is arranged so that someone is in the house from 15 mins before the bus is due - if they dropped dd on the main road she would run a huge risk of being run over and then when she got to the house it is possible she would have to wait outside until one of us came home.
And I thought our bus service was bad enough - dropping the children on the main road outside the school and expecting them to enter the school and find their way in by themselves (some of them are 4 year old reception children).
Complain - and mention it to OFSTED.

Hulababy · 02/02/2009 21:18

OMG that is dreadful of the school. They should have ensured he was being collected fromt he bus initially, before leaving him. No way should a 5y be left on their own. Am shocked!

cat64 · 02/02/2009 21:19

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mrsjammi · 02/02/2009 21:21

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mumeeee · 02/02/2009 21:21

YANBU The school should have phoned you.

Kayteee · 02/02/2009 21:31

YANBU!!! That's one of the WORST things I ever heard!! I would defo complain formally to the school and the bus company. The driver should be sacked! I'd tell my MP and phone the papers too. That could have ended in disaster.
Very very on your behalf. Thank gawd
for your pil and that your ds had the sense to go straight there.

Kayteee · 02/02/2009 21:36

Also, what Coldtits said...ring SS. This is a child protection issue. If a parent had left their OWN child in that situation they would be prosecuted.

BCNS · 02/02/2009 21:42

DD is 5.. I would be spitting feathers!.. so glad he's okay.. and had the sense to go to pil and the luck to get there.

I know that if it were dd she would have panicked and stood there in tears!

OMG

makes me sick just thinking about it.

eekamoose · 02/02/2009 21:43

YA so NBU!

Words fail me, actually.

Please follow this up to the nth degree.

herbietea · 02/02/2009 21:52

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janeite · 02/02/2009 21:56

Totally agree with Cat64. Both the school and the school bus service have a duty of care to the children they are entrusted with and both failed dismally here.

debs40 · 02/02/2009 22:02

That is terrible, really truly outrageous.

On top of being dangerous, it could have been really upsetting for your son too. What a sensible little boy you have!

I really would raise this is the firmest possible terms so it doesn't happen to anyone else. Good luck!

abbierhodes · 02/02/2009 22:03

I work in a secondary school, and we did not close early today because we couldn't guarantee the children's safety if we let them out without contacting parents. Youngest kids we are talking about are 11. When I opened this thread and saw that your DS is 5 I nearly fell over!
Please, please report this to the school governors.

TheYearOfTheCat · 02/02/2009 22:05

Apart from all the other obvious dangers of the road, and being upset, he could have got hypothermia!