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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect DS to not be brought home early on bus and left on own?

132 replies

wangle99 · 02/02/2009 19:49

DS is 5. He attends local primary school which has a bus service due to location of where we live. DS goes on bus and comes home on bus.

Today because of weather the bus turns up early, leaves DS at end of our lane (by busy main road) on his own.

Luckily my PIL were home (they meet DS every day at 3.35pm) and DS walked straight to their house (we live next door to them).

The school phoned me at 3.30pm (I was picking DD up at school 30 mins away) and said 'just checking DS got home safe' I nearly crapped myself at that point. Luckily he did.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Wallace · 03/02/2009 13:44

I'm not easily shocked, but I am horrifid by this

sep1712 · 03/02/2009 14:03

I was the manager of a bus company. We did school routes for children. The policy with the county council stated if there was no-one at home or to meet then i would call the county council. They had all the contact details etc. If they couldn't get any response then it was our duty to take the children to the nearest police staion. An attendant should always be of escort to children. indepentant of the driver. So she could of located pil house and escorted the child there whilst the driver supervised the other children.

This is awful, had this had happened at the company i worked for, jobs would have been lost.

NorbertDentressangle · 03/02/2009 14:06

Holy crap .

I'm speechless.

Will be interested to see the schools response to this

kiddiz · 03/02/2009 14:23

One of the bus companies that used to transport my ds to and from his sn school regularly used to drive off before they had ascertained whether or not there was anyone in to meet him. He walks independantly so they literally used to stop, let him get off the mini bus and then drive off without waiting to see if he got inside the house safely let alone accompany him to the door as I knew they were supposed to. I complained to the educational transport department at the council and that particular bus company didn't have their contract renewed as far as I know.

loobeylou · 03/02/2009 14:37

WE often end up following one of the school buses home, through a wooded area of about 3 miles and very narrow lanes)into next village so I am aware of the fact that kids are often dropped off with no one there to collect them. OK, some parents are obviously OK with this,and I am talking mainly juniors or juniors with infant siblings, but what if the kid walks down the lane to their home and no one is in for some reason? None of our school buses have a "chaperone" now (too expensive).

our school have 3 buses serving different areas and the staff are meticulous in checking everyone is on the right bus etc....but have no control over what parents allow at the other end

these are 2 of the reasons mine do not use the bus despite being entitled to

i too am waiting for OPs update. I wonder if it was not the regular driver and he/she thought the kid always walked home alone?

school entirely to blame IMO

littlerach · 03/02/2009 14:47

at htis.

The school bus forgot ot drop dd1 off here in september. I was waiting and the bus juts went straight past me.

I got in the car and follwoed it but it had already gone onto main road and offot next village. One of the children that had been droppped further down the road told me that dd1 had called to the driver and he said he'd drop her after the next village.
I found the bus and yes, that's what he said too.

It was a different driver, so he wasn't sure where to drop them all.

The school were horrified when I told them.

It is awkward as it is a contract with the LA, not the school, AFAIK. The buses were cancelled this morning, and we didn't know about it at all.

BoffinMum · 03/02/2009 15:07

I am shocked this seems to be so widespread. No child of five should be dropped off with no adult to welcome them off the bus, because five year olds cannot reliably cope with crossing roads by themselves. Sod stranger danger, as I keep saying, traffic is much more prevalent and threatening. So loobeylou, even if the child usually walked home alone, surely alarm bells should have been raised, because this is not acceptable?

I am very laissez-faire with my children and I do encourage them to have more independence than a lot of parents do, but I would never ever expect them to be able to walk home alone at the age of five except in the most extreme of circumstances in which all the obvious available adults disappeared (eg bomb explosion, major bus crash, etc).

I might be OK about letting them walk with a secondary school aged sibling, but only if said sibling was incredibly fussy about the Green Cross Code on all occasions. I would still be a bit nervous though.

I have a real problem with the bus driver letting the child off on this occasion. What was he/she thinking?? Like other posters have said, MIL/FIL may have been taken ill - then what?? IT WAS SNOWING!! THE CHILD COULD HAVE GOT HYPOTHERMIA!!

UKVeggieMum · 03/02/2009 15:11

Absolutely terrible, if that happened to my daughter (also 5) I think I'd probably involved the police to make sure there was an investigation - someone is guilty of neglecting their duty to your child and shouldn't be in a position to do it again.

There must be a school policy for severe weather and a process they should follow.

My husband would probably have a stroke at the thought of it.

kslatts · 03/02/2009 15:21

YANBU, that is absolutely terrible.

clam · 03/02/2009 15:26

I thought it was bad enough when my nephew'a bus missed a stop and dropped half a dozen secondary pupils 2 miles further down a lane in the dark. The driver turfed them off and said he couldn't/wouldn't turn round and take them back. Thankfully, they were able to use the mobiles that none of them should, according to the school, have had on them, and phone parents etc.. for lifts. I would have been complaining big-time about that.
But THIS!!!!! Much, much worse.
What did the school say?

littleducks · 03/02/2009 16:06

i used to look after a friends child who got the bus from local sn primary school, i was very cross and ensured my friend complaiined loudly when they dropped the child off onn the doorstep but didnt wait until front door was opened,

this is terrible, really want to know whta the school have to say

Katiestar · 03/02/2009 16:24

YANBU that is apalling !I thought when I read the title your DS would be at secondary school which would be bad enough , but primary !!!

citronella · 03/02/2009 16:31

YANB the slightest bit U!!
What did they have to say for themselves?

Original poster
wangle99 · 03/02/2009 16:32

Haven't managed to speak to anyone today as school closed and when I phoned it was either engaged or no answer.

Believe me as the day has gone on I have got more cross and relieved that he did come home.

I will update you when I have got through to someone.

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 03/02/2009 16:48

Gosh - closed. Weren't they have Ofsted in today?

MrAndMrsTwit · 03/02/2009 16:56

So who dares to forward this thread to a newspaper or a journalist????

I am sorry but whoever's fault this was, be it the school or the bus driver, there is just no excuse for such a HUGE oversight.

I'm afraid somebody's job should be on the line for this.

If I was the manager of someone who was responsible for this happening, I would consider this as gross misconduct and would have to fire the person immeadiately.

madhairday · 03/02/2009 17:18

I am completely speechless. I have a five y old boy and this happening is unimaginable. Raise a complete stink, not just with the school but the LEA who are ultimately responsible, this driver should be sacked imo. I feel almost ill reading this
Hope you can get to speak to someone soon

ThingOne · 03/02/2009 18:08

wangle - if they are closed tomorrow you should send a letter. Write it tonight so you can send it straight away. You need to write to the head of governors, bus company and whoever in the LEA deals with school transport anyway.

I am shocked. I hope this never happens again.

Leo9 · 03/02/2009 19:54

how frustrating for you Wangle! good luck getting through.

TheYearOfTheCat · 03/02/2009 20:01

I am interested to hear the school's response.

Whilst reading this thread, I started to think of my own childhood. When I was 7 I used to walk 2 1/2 miles to school along a busy main road, supervising my 4 and 5 year old sisters . With no adult. Every day, in every type of weather.

How times change! I consider myself very laid back, but what were my parents thinking?! I suspect I was not that different to many others.

OP, I hope you have made a fuss of your DS and told him how proud you are that he was so sensible.

MrAndMrsTwit · 04/02/2009 10:06

Any news on this??? I am so shocked by this.

Very interested to hear what sort of response the OP gets from the school.

And I really really hope that she takes matters further with regards to complaining.

If this story had not had such a fortunately happy outcome, we would all be reading about this on the front page of our newspapers this morning.

mylifemykids · 04/02/2009 13:29

Any news?

pagwatch · 04/02/2009 13:35

My son has always had to go to school by minbus because of his severe SN.
I found him on the doorstep once. I had not heard the bus pull up as it was 15 mins early and they had just dropped him and driven off. He was very upset when I realised he was there. Only a few minutes but enough to distress him enormously and anything really could have happened to him

The issue in his case was with the LEA and the home to school transport. That transport firm were sacked

Since then I sit by the window from the time I know he sets off from school just terrified it will happen again

Bubbaluv · 04/02/2009 15:59

WANGLE99
Any update?

Original poster
wangle99 · 04/02/2009 18:24

I phoned the school this morning and DH and I have an appointment with the headmistress tomorrow at 8.15am.

The bus driver spoke to MIL today and said 'sorry about Monday, DS saw two girls walking up the road so I let him go'.

It appears he asked DS if he knew his number (not sure whether he meant house number or phone number) and DS replied '118 118' psml I think DS watches too much tv!

OP posts: