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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that boys are not harder work than girls?

54 replies

AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 02/02/2009 09:50

So many mothers of boys seem to work on the assumption that it is a given that boys are harder work than girls.

Their boy is in to everything! And won't take no for an answer! And the MESS a boy makes! Goodness me it's exhausting looking after a boy.

Meanwhile my little girl sits demurely at home asking me to plait her hair, and reading sweetly from her book of fairy stories when I am busy.

Err... no. My little girl is every bit as revolting and chaotic and horrible as your boy thankyouverymuch.

(I have one of each by the way).

OP posts:
fleacircus · 02/02/2009 09:52

That really gets my goat too. But some people always need to believe that their life is just that little bit harder than anyone else's! And it's probably self-fulfilling, after a while.

GossipMonger · 02/02/2009 09:53

I would much rather have boys than girls I think (tho I would love dds as much as ds's)

Boys are far more straightforward and get on and sort things out quicker than girls. Girls hold grudges for far longer.

And I dont have to get into HSM!!

psychomum5 · 02/02/2009 09:54

they bloody are!!!

three sweet demure girls here, then I got two boys to shock me out of my smugness

RubyRioja · 02/02/2009 09:54

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nailpolish · 02/02/2009 09:55

girls are so emotional

their complicated friendships exhaust me

i have 2 and they drain me

goodness knows what it will be like when they are teens...

Original poster
AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 02/02/2009 09:56

Some children are harder work than others. Gender irrelevent.

OP posts:
littleboyblue · 02/02/2009 09:56

I have a boy and have been told by 2 friends who both have girls that they think boys are harder as babies and toddlers, but aren't babies babies? iyswim.

StarlightMcKenzie · 02/02/2009 09:56

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Original poster
AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 02/02/2009 09:56

Exactly lbb.

OP posts:
loobeylou · 02/02/2009 09:56

every child is an individual, regardless of gender

VinegarTits · 02/02/2009 09:58

YANBU

But I think it totally depends on the child, regardless of the sex, i know some boys who are pita, and some girls who are delightful and vice versa

I was blessed with 2 delightful boys, i find looking after my two dnieces is much harder work, but not all boys are so easy, i know that, and not all girls are as difficult as my dnes

Original poster
AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 02/02/2009 10:00

I get particularly irritated when it is assumed that being energetic or revolting are boy traits. My 2-year-old girl is a whirling dirvish, and can be gacking at times.

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TsarChasm · 02/02/2009 10:01

I have both and they are all lovely!

If anything my ds is the most easy going happy little chap I've ever met. He also has his sisters (and me!) twisted round his little fingers. None of them are any trouble though.

I hate it when people moan about their children being hard work. Of course it's hard work sometimes; it goes without saying. Nothing worth having comes easily.

When it comes to being messy I am probably the worst culprit, but I'd never admit it

psychomum5 · 02/02/2009 10:03

well.....................I say that.

I did indeed get boys to piss me off.

and then my girls got........HORMONES..........girls are not fun then!!!

Original poster
AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 02/02/2009 10:04

Ahh but it's not really moaning about their children being hard work Tsar. It's pretending to moan that he's hard work whilst actually boasting that he's really bright and energetic and in to everything and non-stop and doesn't miss a trick etc etc etc. And it's cloaking the whole thing in a pretend compliment to me about how LUCKY I am to have a sweet girl who doesn't want to get her dress dirty, and would know better than to rummage in the cupboard under the sink.

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 02/02/2009 10:04

My DD is way harder work than DS ever was at the same age. And I would expect that trend to continue unless she has a complete change of character. So there.

(self-defence - I never cited the 'boys are harder work' thing when I only had DS - although I did once chuckle at some shell-shocked friends whose first (DD) was the most placid child I had ever met - their second (DS, as it happens) had just hit toddlerdom in a big way and they had no idea what to do with him )

snowleopard · 02/02/2009 10:05

They are all individuals and not all boys and girls are the same of course. BUT I do find my DS and other people's boys on the whole easier to deal with - and that is despite my 3yo boy being a terrible tantrummer who I've posted about in despair - but although he drives me bananas, he rarely makes me feel I'm being sucked into some complex mind game. Several girls I know of a similar age (not all) do pouty sulking and sullen "not talking to you" faces and strange emotional blackmail type behaviour, that I just can't handle at all.

I would actually really love to have a girl, but if I do and she behaves like that I think I will be at a bit of a loss. Though I suppose you come to understand the child you've got.

But I would never say to someone with a girl "Oh boys are so much more difficult" - no way!

thisisyesterday · 02/02/2009 10:05

funny cos I always seem to hear people sy how much easier boys are than girls.

I have 2 boys. one was the easiest baby/toddler in the world. incredibly laid-back.
the other is a whirlwind of destruction and teror.

depends on the child.

StarlightMcKenzie · 02/02/2009 10:07

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stealthsquiggle · 02/02/2009 10:11

Hold that thought, Starlight, and don't have another one - I liked to think DS's basically calm nature and impeccable behaviour in public places (only) was down to my parenting until DD turned up to disprove it .

CatchaStar · 02/02/2009 10:12

Think each child is different and therefore, some may be 'hard work' and others, not so much. I don't think the sex of the child is really relavant, though circumstances are.

Having said that, I only have dd so I couldn't compare. Although, god help any wee boys that come into contact with my little girl, she's a tough little thing. Determined may be the polite way to put it.......

Wisknit · 02/02/2009 10:16

I think it depends on the child.

DS1 v. demanding, energetic, early riser (4.30) pita

DS2 laid back, sleeps (SLEEPS!!!!) playon his own. Still a pickle but I can deal with it better because I haven't had him on at me all day.

DC3 2B - we shall see.

The one that scares me about girls though is the hormones later on.

Purely anecdotally, people I know who have both often comment that boys are harder, more demanding when little but girls are harder in their teens.

WinkyWinkola · 02/02/2009 10:19

Definitely depends on the child.

I know some very boisterous little girls and some serene little boys.

I think people expect boys to act like loons and perhaps a self fulfilling prophecy kicks in.

Both my DS and DD are scamps.

StarlightMcKenzie · 02/02/2009 10:23

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christywhisty · 02/02/2009 10:24

My DD 11 was the most delightful easy baby/toddler but once hormones/brain rewiring hit at about 9 she has become such hard work. Everything is a drama She behaves at school and has plenty of good friends which is what matters.

DS 13 was hard work as a toddler, into absolutely everything and a bit of a tantrummer but he has got easier over the years.
I suspect those who have sweet compliant little girls are in for a nasty shock.