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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that boys are not harder work than girls?

54 replies

AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 02/02/2009 09:50

So many mothers of boys seem to work on the assumption that it is a given that boys are harder work than girls.

Their boy is in to everything! And won't take no for an answer! And the MESS a boy makes! Goodness me it's exhausting looking after a boy.

Meanwhile my little girl sits demurely at home asking me to plait her hair, and reading sweetly from her book of fairy stories when I am busy.

Err... no. My little girl is every bit as revolting and chaotic and horrible as your boy thankyouverymuch.

(I have one of each by the way).

OP posts:
KerryMumbles · 02/02/2009 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BennyAndJoon · 02/02/2009 10:27

My DD is the minxiest minx in the whole of Minxdom. Pig headed, indipendent, ball of disctruction and chaos, that suddenly will turn into a picture of cute and demure if she thinks it is in her interest (or if there are grandparents around). My boys were much more sensitive souls at that age.

They are all individuals, and nothing to do with gender makes them easier or harder. They are all just different

SnowDragon · 02/02/2009 10:29

Boys seem to be simple creatures - you feed them, let them run around, give them a computer game and let them kill things and they're mostly happy, if a little loud. I really don't understand my daughter though! My word she's a contrary little bundle of fun

My parents always said I was much harder work than my 2 older brothers. I thought they were joking until I had a girl of my own...

Boys seem to be more physically demanding and girls just more complicated all round.

Wisknit · 02/02/2009 10:34

snowdragon My mother always says boys are a bit like dogs: plenty of food, exercise and sleep and they're fine

mummyflood · 02/02/2009 11:16

My 2 DS's, 15 and 13, are as different as it is possible to be in looks, behaviour and everything inbetween. They might as well be one of each as far as hard work/high maintenance goes. It has never occured to me that having a girl would have made things any different...I think a lot depends on ME as to how hard work they are - if I am tired, stressed, busy, etc. However, I have found that the people I know with both sexes do agree that girls are easier than boys until they hit puberty, then heaven help you!!

mooseloose · 02/02/2009 11:28

I agree with wisknit! Thats spot on!

I have three boys, all very cuddly and transparent with their adoration of me! I do feel very loved. I don't have a girl to compare to, but my niece 6 is not cuddly at all.

DH and I have a great relationship with our 14 yo, and he loves a fight as well as a 'lean' (rather than a cuddle now!). We have a joke about too. Never had a bit of bother with him.

ds (9) has always been a 'boy' and I've worked hard on him and he too is emerging as more sensible, very sweet and cuddly, and really lovely. The only thing that causes friction in my house is the yelling between ds9 and 6. Best of friends and worst of enemies.

I hear some real horror stories from friends about their 13/14 yo girls behaviour! I thank my lucky stars for boys! (as long as they are excercised well!)

snowleopard · 02/02/2009 11:40

The cuddliness is a funny thing. DS is always all over me, as well as being a devoted blanket-cuddler and soft-toy-snuggler. I know small girls who never seem to be physically affectionate, but no boys like that. All the blanket-draggers I've met are boys. It seems to go against the nurturing/caring/doll-loving stereotype. I wonder if any evolutionary psychologists have a theory for that!

Mamazon · 02/02/2009 11:42

i have a boy and girl. despite my son havibng Sn my Dd is a royal pain in the neck at times. she is far more difficult than him.

serenity · 02/02/2009 11:44

I have have both. Most of the pita behaviour seems to me to be linked to personality rather than gender.

And to go back up the thread a bit - our HSM fixation came from DS2, so having boys is no escape I'm afraid.

MuchLessTiredNow · 02/02/2009 11:47

My two boys conform to the sterotype - loud, always on the go, destructive etc etc. dd is very quiet and will just stay with me - when we went swimming yesterday she was the only one who behaved in the changing room depsite only being 18 months old. However, the boys are much much more affectionate than she is.

herbietea · 02/02/2009 11:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MorocconOil · 02/02/2009 11:53

IME boys are much more physical than girls when they are under 10. They definitely need more exercise, and will not sit still and draw, write, concentrate until they have got a rid of some physical energy. Girls are much harder to manipulate guide when it comes to getting them to do what you want them to interms of what to wear etc.

In summary boys are physically more tiring, whilst girls can wear you down emotionally.

StressedTess · 02/02/2009 12:39

Agree with Mimizan - I have both. DSs (both under 10)absolutely knacker me out and drive me nuts with their constant running and screaming all over the house. DD was easier to deal with when she was younger in that respect but now that she is a pre-teen, she is mentally exhausting so I seem to have it from all sides!! Hopefully the boys will get easier but I do think DD is going to be hard work .

PeachyBAHonsPRSCertOnRequest · 02/02/2009 12:41

Hmmm, have 4 boys and used to run a Rainbows group

IME alone (just mine just anecdotal etc etc) boys are more physical, girls mroe erm complex > and equally challenging

and they all vary anyhow

so no YANBU

MrsMattie · 02/02/2009 12:43

My DD is a tiny baby, so can't really talk from experience (yet) but I am yet to meet a girl as bloody knackering as my 4 yr old DS . Boys under about the age of 8 seem to act like nutters when in a group, too.

NattyPlus2andAHalf · 02/02/2009 12:44

i think that boys are harder as young children, but girls are much harder when they reach 9 or 10 and throughout the teenage years.
like others have said they can be both as hard as each other in different ways.

that said i have one of each and expecting my third and id much rather have a girl

HecateQueenOfGhosts · 02/02/2009 12:49

no idea. Don't have girls. But from what I've seen, boys are easier!!! I would be pulling my hair out at the stroppyness, rows and hormones that I see parents of girls going through

MrsTittleMouse · 02/02/2009 12:50

I had that from my Mum. We had neatly confined to stereotypes where I would play nicely by myself and my brother had bags of energy and wanted lots more adult input. Fast forward to my DD1 who needed a whole order of magnitude more input than my brother and my Mum is eating her words.

I'm hoping that DD1 won't enter the same "herd mentality" that my DB did at junior school though. Blimey, that was hard work for my Mum.

mooseloose · 02/02/2009 12:57

my ds9 is just bonkers in a crowd - like he has been possessed!

Its like he gets so wound up and excited (mostly) that he makes silly noises and runs in circles as he unwinds! I have pretended at times (in public places!)he is not mine!

annoyingdevil · 02/02/2009 13:04

Of course it's down to personality. Both mine are spirited, outdoorsy types, but DS is by far the most difficult (he has an angry streak). DD is quite laid back in comparison.

juuule · 02/02/2009 14:26

YANBU

Depends on personality ime.

MorocconOil · 02/02/2009 14:38

LOL at Mooseloose pretending her DS is not hers in public. I learned to do that too. It reduces the stress doesn't it?

PinkTulips · 02/02/2009 14:39

have one of each and i find ds so much easier and less complicated than dd.

even when it comes to other peoples kids i find boys a lot easier to cope with than girls.

in general boys tend to be a lot less complicated and emotionally fraught, they might be rowdier (although not by much ime) but at least there's less hysterical screeching and whinging and hissy fits.

i find being around dd when she's with other little girls almost unbearable as it's a constant stream of brattiness and whinging and cat fighting, whereas little boys are quite good fun in a loud 'lets dismantle this toy with hammers' sort of a way.

funnily enough when dd is around boys or at home on her own she's a tomboy and much more fun to be around!

mumto2andnomore · 02/02/2009 14:51

My son IS much harder work than my daughter has ever been ! She is easy going while he is the opposite, eveything has to be his way and if he is not happy then no one is.
I love him dearly but he is very trying sometimes and I have sometimes secretly wished he was more like her.

fufflebum · 02/02/2009 15:01

If we said AIBU to think girls are much harder work than boys we would accuse people of being sexist.

It is sexist the other way too!

I have one of each and I think it is down to personality not gender.

So yes I think you are being unreasonable!