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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this comment unprofessional, inappropriate and unpleasant...

100 replies

sooziesquareeyes · 28/01/2009 19:03

Was being shown around a nursery with a view to finding a place for DD when I go back to work. All looked great until right at the end, just before we left. Returned to the baby room and the manager giving the guided tour said to a little boy toddling around in his vest - 'Hey! Woo-woo, got yer sexy legs out!'.

as I said, just not what you say to a child IMO. or am i getting all het up over nothing?...

OP posts:
shootfromthehip · 28/01/2009 19:04

Not the best comment to make to a small child IMO so YANBU

izyboy · 28/01/2009 19:05

what do you think isnt ok about the comment?

themoon66 · 28/01/2009 19:05

I wouldn't have thought much about it to be honest.

theresonlyme · 28/01/2009 19:05

I heard someone saying sexy to a toddler the other day and I didn't like it.

DunderMifflin · 28/01/2009 19:09

I've heard a couple of people saying this as well recently - it strikes me as a completely weird and inappropriate thing to say.

Mind you, one of the babies was wearing a Playboy babygro... (JOKE!!)

hobbgoblin · 28/01/2009 19:09

Since the nursery worker probably wasn't being altogether literal about it I don't think it is a problem.

To fret about this is a little on the side of hysterical. You know, some staff at some training I was at recently were in a real quandary whether it was still okay to put an arm around a 5 year old if they had hurt themselves. Very sad. The kind of attitude that makes individuals question the most innocent remarks and actions is questionable in itself imo.

IAteMakkaPakka · 28/01/2009 19:09

Absolutely not appropriate. YANBU

llareggub · 28/01/2009 19:09

There's probably nothing sinister behind it, but it isn't the sort of thing I would want my children exposed to. Very inappropriate, I'd say.

WEESLEEKITLauriefairycake · 28/01/2009 19:11

it's not sinister just a bit bleurgh.

I don't like using the word sexy in relation to children in any way.

yanbu

IAteMakkaPakka · 28/01/2009 19:11

Putting an arm around a five year old is fine. Describing a toddler's legs as sexy is just weird. Not in a paedophile-hysteria kind of way, just in the same way you wouldn't describe a little girl as "foxy" or something. It's sexualising kids inappropriately, nothing to do with sinister intentions.

PinkTulips · 28/01/2009 19:11

hate the use of the word sexy when talking about children.... it's just wrong on so many levels, children are not sexy.

definitely YANBU

hannahlouhoo · 28/01/2009 19:12

i call my 11 month old a sexy little man, i'd never thought about it as odd before.

I shall continue calling him it! he is just so beautiful!! best looking baby in the world ever!!(!!PFB ALERT!!)

warthog · 28/01/2009 19:12

ugh yanbu

HecateQueenOfGhosts · 28/01/2009 19:16

So many people use this word and it makes me want to scream!! WHY??

The word 'sexy' means arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest.

In what way is that a word to use in relation to children?

And when you say something, they say "I don't mean it like that, I don't see it that way...."

What way do you mean it? The word has that meaning. There's no other way TO mean it. You don't go round saying "I banana your top" or "Can you wallpaper that pen to me please" because you've decided the words mean something different from their dictionary definition.

WEESLEEKITLauriefairycake · 28/01/2009 19:17

LOl at Hecate

loobeylou · 28/01/2009 19:18

hannah, someone in a play centre once called MY cute gorgeous BABY boy (about 14months) sexy and it made me feel SICK. sexy is a totally different word, it has VERY specific conotations, it is NOT just another word for cute or beautiful......IMO it is NOT suitable for describing our children. where do you draw the line....is it still OK to call a little girl "sexy" when she is dressed in a trendy way at age 9, 10,11?

FWIW I would not even want nursery age kids to ever hear the word sexy, never mind it being said to them by a carer

loobeylou · 28/01/2009 19:19

well said hectate (and your eg was very funny)

Froginmythroat · 28/01/2009 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sooziesquareeyes · 28/01/2009 19:23

I don't think she meant anytyhing sinister by it, I just think that sexualising young children is a bit unpleasant, bit like those ridiculous high heels for babies. And Bratz (don't get me started..) But if you see it as a term of endearment for your LO then fair enough, I just wouldn't want someone I was paying to look after my child to use it with her - I think it's a bit disrespectful. IMO.

OP posts:
pamelat · 28/01/2009 19:23

I would not like "sexy" but I think that it shows that the woman was stupid rather than sinister

Kathyis6incheshigh · 28/01/2009 19:24

I wouldn't say, but I wouldn't get that upset about it either if it was used of a boy.
Oddly enough if it was a girl I would be much more bothered, probably because girls are sexualised at an inappropriately young age and so I think it would be potentially harmful in a way it really wouldn't for a boy.
In the context of the OP I think it was a relatively innocent joke.

AnarchyAunt · 28/01/2009 19:24

Oh that is horrible [vom]

Its so naff and completely inappropriate.

YANBU.

curlygal · 28/01/2009 19:26

One of my friends overuses the word "sexy" so much that she probably doesn;t realise that she is even saying it.

She said to my DS who was two at teh time "Come and give us a snog you sexy thing" I was shocked by this as would never use the word snog or sexy with reference to a child.

I think that the thing the lady at the nursery said was wrong - the little boy was bare legged and she called his bare legs sexy. Wrong, wrong,, wrong.

"You've got your cute legs out" Fine

"You've got your lovely legs our" also fine

"You've got your muscly legs out" fine if she must

"you;ve got your sexy legs out" totally not fine

YANBU

She said that to a boy infront of you so presumabley thinks it is ok to speak to children like that.

I wouldn;t want my three year old to come home from nursery and tell me I had "sexy" legs (I do of course but that is not the [point!)

BlameItOnTheBogey · 28/01/2009 19:27

Hecate has put it brilliantly. Nothing sinister about it - just plain weird and inappropriate.

wb · 28/01/2009 19:30

It's not a term I would use wrt. a child but I have heard quite a few mums use it with their own children so it wouldn't bother me.

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