Well, I might be flamed for writing this, but recently I've gotten more & more annoyed by all the anti-routine opinions found on MN. So- am I being unreasonable to be slightly pissed off when I read (again and again) advice to 'co-sleep / wear in sling / bf on demand' when people ask particular questions about their babies (e.g. about sleeping / feeding patterns)? Am I being unreasonable to think that this style of parenting doesn't suit all parents (or doesn't suit all babies for that matter)? Am I being unreasonable to feel that GF (and other advocates of routines) have been unfairly treated here on MN, however much one may disagree on various points in their books (and anyway who said we have to agree with every single thing they write)?
Some background. My DS is 6 months old. He's still breastfeeding (and I plan to continue for as long as I can / he wants). He is also still sleeping with us in our bed (from 11 pm onwards). He's a happy, healthy baby. Until 4 & a half months he was breastfed on demand (with various problems, which I won't go into). Until that point we were getting little or no sleep. I was so exhausted that I decided to work on a routine & in desperation bought the GF books (which until then I had been completely dismissive of). Surprise surprise. Putting DS on a routine (I did it gently & gradually, before anyone shouts at me!) worked beautifully. His sleep has improved dramatically, his breastfeeding has also improved. My milk supply has ALSO improved, making me wonder about the usual advice to feed completely on demand after a certain age. DP & I never felt we pushed our son in any way when putting him on this routine, in fact, it felt completely natural, we just tweaked things here & there & gradually things became better & better.
I simply don't believe anymore that 'all babies fall into a pattern in their own time'. I also don't believe anymore that 'it's normal' for babies to not sleep for months & months, that 'it's normal' for babies to feed all through the night (the thing people say about 'babies having tiny stomachs' also doesn't convince me anymore, not after a certain age, not when they're- for instance- 7 months). We still feed DS at 3-4 am, and we think that's normal for breastfed babies at 6 months, but I simply cannot imagine staying at the place where I was, feeding him all through the night, every 1-2 hours.
Anyway. Just really, honestly, I'd like a discussion on this, because it's something that baffles me. I truly believe I'm a much better parent, more rested, more calm, less irritable, now that we have some predictability and a pattern to our day. I also think that if I had a second child I'd keep an eye on the pattern of their day from earlier. Can't really think why all the anger & disapproval towards GF & other routine-advocates. You may not agree with all their points, fine. You may not like their style of writing, fine again. After all, it's only common sense that each parent creates their own version of a routine for their child, you wouldn't follow any style of parenting blindly would you. But to be so against routines in general is a bit baffling to me, and I've heard it so many times here on MN in recent months, that I honestly would like to discuss it a bit more...