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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy baby clothes from Ebay?

468 replies

memoo · 27/01/2009 19:37

Long story short, I'm pregnant with my 3rd, baby isn't due til sept but we are absolutly broke, struggling to pay the rent let alone buy new baby things.

So I decided to start buying a few little things each week from ebay. I've bid on some babygrows and a pramsuit, both used but look lovely and clean.

I was casually telling a work colleague about it today and she turn her nose up when I told her I was getting stuff from ebay. She said she "would never put her baby in second hand clothes" and "you don't know where they've come from" she went on to go on about how baby clothes aren't really expensive anyway etc etc

Maybe I'm being over sensitive but she made me feel really bad, as though I was getting second best for my baby but the way I look at it is that the baby won't know or care and newborns are only in stuff for 5 minutes so even second hand stuff will have lots of wear left in them.

Like I said, maybe I am being over sensitive (pregnancy hormones are raging) but she has made me feel like I'm not doing the best for my baby.

Is it really so bad to get second hand clothes for a new baby?

OP posts:
tinierclanger · 28/01/2009 19:32

Crikey - big thread!

I'll add to the YANBU. Nearly all DS's stuff is hand-me-down or off Ebay. I admit I did buy new for the first few weeks but it really wasn't necessary. I have got lovely stuff off Ebay, good brands at a fraction of the price of new and all in really good condition. I'd quite happily wear second-hand stuff myself and like the recycling aspect as well.

And most sellers have been great, and some of them have chucked in free extras without even mentioning it.

tootiredtothink · 28/01/2009 19:36

To be fair, I wouldn't have dreamed of putting my pfb in anything second hand - not even if I knew the person .

Ds has had many things from ebay and friends hand me downs - and I'm bloody grateful!

Original poster
memoo · 28/01/2009 19:37

sparklesandwine does rock, she has a Big heart

OP posts:
onebatmother · 28/01/2009 20:35

Qally, what an absolutely lovely story about your ebay lady.

girlylala0807 · 28/01/2009 20:38

Tigerlovestobounce,

Im sure most of it is,like I said though, im only going on family superstition.. was never like it before I got pregnant!!

pamelat · 28/01/2009 20:39

What a snob.

Although ebay clothes can be more expensive than ASDA/Tesco etc once you have factored in the postage.

I bought DD some lovely dresses from ebay though.

Carbonel · 28/01/2009 21:23

LOL my ds ran his 'own label designer clothes' they got handed round the neighbourhood so much after he grew out of them!

So much more sensible to recycle and use second hand for babies who rarely wear things out.

I also buy second hand school uniform etc now

2shoes · 28/01/2009 21:31

what an odd thread to gte so amy posts..
I never brought clothes of ebat, as there was no ebay, But I remkember loveing the cast off's my neighbour gave me

Swedes · 28/01/2009 21:42

Ebay always seems cheap but whole hours can rush past whilst you search for a pale blue 18-24 month cardi - what price your time?

dicksbird · 28/01/2009 22:59

gosh what an immotive thread!

I have been very fortunate and have always been able to buy brand new for my Dc's.

BUT I have had plenty of bags of hand me downs from friends which I and they relish and now my 2 best friends have a pink and a blue bag permanently waiting in my soare room to be filled as one has 2 girls and one 2 boys.

TBH I would never buy from E bay. I don't need too and as my sister in law who would think nothing of spending £400 on a new mobile phone when she doesnt work just because she likes the colour and then proudly boasts that both of her children have never had any new clothes or shoes ....it puts me off. LOL

To the op. I admire your thriftyness and wouldnt hesitate to do the same in your position but at the risk of being flamed and rude if money is that tight why the hell are you having another baby FGS.

Slinks away from the thread..........

Anglepoise · 28/01/2009 23:15

Swedes the reason I have an ebay addiction is because I spend so much time pinned to the sofa bfing DD and it's easier to buy stuff with one finger than to type

ninedragons · 29/01/2009 01:19

A huge part of the job of parenting is to equip your children for a life led in circumstances that may not be the same as yours.

Even though we would probably be considered comfortably off by many people on here, it is very important to me that DD grows up with the skill of thrift. Jesus Christ, if the past year hasn't brought home to everyone the dangers of a mismatch between desires and financial means, I don't know what will. There are people out there having their houses repossessed because the banks were spraying money around like a broken fire hydrant and they bought clothes and handbags and consumer shit they couldn't actually afford.

DD is too young to know at the moment, but I actively want her to know it's good to rummage around in charity shops, and that if she sees something she wants she should have a look on eBay before rushing in to pay full retail price. DH and I both have very good jobs but I am acutely aware that she may not be so lucky.

So to the OP, before your DC has even arrived you are giving them a priceless life lesson.

mamadiva · 29/01/2009 08:05

Dicksbird tinkk someone has already said tht, what a stupid thing to say.

You don't know the circumstances! When I got pg with DS it was unplanned but a happy accident so I didn't have money saved up in the bank for a DC why would I? I'm glad that things are so rosey in your little world that nothing unplanned happens to you, also in today's current climate how doyou knwo hat her and DP didn't have jobs when found out about LO? and have lost them since.

Point is none of us do know and whythe hell should we? So don't judge people by that standard please it is very ignorant.

dicksbird · 29/01/2009 08:10

what a hypocrit MD. You are judging me in the same way.
I had a 3rd unplanned pregnancy in very quick succesion and made a very sad and difficult decision.

mamadiva · 29/01/2009 08:12

How exactlyam I a hypocrite? I simply said that you shouldn't be judging her about an unplanned pregancy or whatever her reasons are at the end of the day it has nothing to do with any of us why she is having a baby.

TBH I am not really to fussed about you situation either that was your decision nothing to do with me.

harleyd · 29/01/2009 08:19

"To the op. I admire your thriftyness and wouldnt hesitate to do the same in your position but at the risk of being flamed and rude if money is that tight why the hell are you having another baby FGS."

omg you cheeky bitch!!!! FGS

Ayomi · 29/01/2009 08:27

All my DD's first babygrows, vests and little comfy outfits came from a charity shop - in a big bin marked 20p each.
Most of them washed and wore better than the new supermarket stuff i've got through since. However, if you shop around there is always an offer - have recently bought 7 bodysuits for £3.50 and think often you can get new cheaper than on ebay....

dicksbird · 29/01/2009 08:37

Why am I a cheeky bitch ?

The OP says they are even struggling to pay the rent so why bring another child into this world when they have 2 already ?

I do not disagree with being thrifty. My DC's have never had a brand new bike between them in 10 years. My DD has all secondhand riding stuff and we use freecycle loads.

But if more people thought about economics when having children we wouldnt have so many children living below the povertyline in this country. Wouldnt that be a good thing ?

happybeingme · 29/01/2009 08:53

My 1st DC was unplanned and we had very little money but I would'nt change her for the world.

DB - I would rather struggle financially than make a 'tough descion' since your judging.

happybeingme · 29/01/2009 08:53

My 1st DC was unplanned and we had very little money but I would'nt change her for the world.

DB - I would rather struggle financially than make a 'tough descion' since your judging.

blueshoes · 29/01/2009 09:01

dicksbird: "The OP says they are even struggling to pay the rent so why bring another child into this world when they have 2 already ?"

Do you understand the meaning of 'unplanned'?

Or perhaps you lack the empathy to extend your personal experience to another person who is coping the best she can in a very sensible way. Whether or not the OP's pregnancy was planned or not, it is none of your business and poor taste for you to make her justify her reasons for getting pregnant. Would you have appreciated someone ranting at you in an equivalent way when you found yourself with an unplanned pregnancy in 'sad and difficult' circumstances? Nice piece of work you are.

christiana · 29/01/2009 09:48

Message withdrawn

dingdong05 · 29/01/2009 10:23

I was funny about buying 2nd hand for my pfb not because I have a prob with 2nd hand I really don't but felt I would be judged by judgy mcjudgers like your work mate. Then pregnancy hormones calmed down and I re-adjusted my thinking
Funnily enough, ime it's those on the financial bottom rung who tend to be the biggest culprits in wearing their "wealth" on the outside. They tend to (sweeping generalisation alert) spend a much larger % of their income on clothes, and branded things. People comfortably off, and who have grown up in relative comfort tend, again ime, to be happier with getting things through 2nd hand/ebay/charity shop avenue.

As for dicksbird, stop being a dick. Surely you don't need to be told that you are being an arse. This was a q about 2nd hand baby clothes, not about whether someone should have an abortion because money is tight. FFS

mummyloveslucy · 29/01/2009 11:01

We went through fertility treatment to have our daughter and when she was born we bought so many baby grows with matching bonnets, dresses etc all posh brands such as Emile et rose and Sarah-Louise.
My taste is very traditional and I love babies to look like babies.
I recently went through my daughters old clothes and cringed at the amount I'd spent on it all. Sleep suits with matching bonnets were £20 each and she had loads. Some were aged 0-1 month.(eek)
Now if we have another girl, she will obviously have my daughters old clothes but if we have a boy, there is no way we'll be spending all that again. He would have lovely clothes too but via e-bay.
I buy my daughter beautiful clothes from e-bay now, and she's always getting lovely comments about her clothes. (e-bay is fantastic).

Original poster
memoo · 29/01/2009 13:03

dicksbird, firstly my DC don't live below the poverty line.

4 years ago I got pregnant accidently, unfortunately it turned out to be an ectopic that ruptured and I nearly died. The grief of losing my baby will stay with me forever. For many years it has been like a big gaping hole in my life. And so I decided to try for another. It has taken me 2 years and believe me it has not been an easy decision.

Yes money will be tight, which is why I am buying secong hand clothes but that really isn't the end of the world is it?

Why am I having another baby? Because I will love and cherish it more than anything in the world. It will have more love, affection and attention that it will ever need. Surely they are the important things, not how much money I spend on clothes?

OP posts: