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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To buy baby clothes from Ebay?

468 replies

memoo · 27/01/2009 19:37

Long story short, I'm pregnant with my 3rd, baby isn't due til sept but we are absolutly broke, struggling to pay the rent let alone buy new baby things.

So I decided to start buying a few little things each week from ebay. I've bid on some babygrows and a pramsuit, both used but look lovely and clean.

I was casually telling a work colleague about it today and she turn her nose up when I told her I was getting stuff from ebay. She said she "would never put her baby in second hand clothes" and "you don't know where they've come from" she went on to go on about how baby clothes aren't really expensive anyway etc etc

Maybe I'm being over sensitive but she made me feel really bad, as though I was getting second best for my baby but the way I look at it is that the baby won't know or care and newborns are only in stuff for 5 minutes so even second hand stuff will have lots of wear left in them.

Like I said, maybe I am being over sensitive (pregnancy hormones are raging) but she has made me feel like I'm not doing the best for my baby.

Is it really so bad to get second hand clothes for a new baby?

OP posts:
Katiestar · 28/01/2009 17:11

YANBU some people just like to make you feel guilty and inadequate as a parent

LucyEllensmummy · 28/01/2009 17:24

totally significant but if i tell you, i'll spoil her fun!! TM, you are BAD

daftpunk · 28/01/2009 17:28

lem...what are you on about? the "middle class bore thread"? that was years ago dude..forget it!

glaskhamhasoneintheoven · 28/01/2009 17:37

Memoo- I've read the first 2 pages and had to comment...

We are currently expecting DC3 and we planned this pregnancy... We decided that as we'd sold or passed on everything baby-wise when the other 2 DC's were out of them (as we did originally only want 2 DC's) that we'd buy everything used for this DC, and only buy the very essential things new.... I fell PG in July, and already at nearly 29wks am almost sorted. I ahve bought a few things new, but only becasue of DH getting a good xmas bonus, and selling the used pram i'd bought. I have only bought 1 pack of new vests for £3, which i got the day i found out it was a girl, and also 1 brand new outfit in the next sale for £4.50... Other than that the rest of my baby clothing has been bought on here, on ebay, and I was very lucky to be given a massive bundle of baby clothing from freecycle.

The bundle i got off Freecycle is amazing, it's kitted me out in everything from tiny baby up to 3-6, all in amazing condition, most from really good brands like Next, Gap M&S- i couldn't believe my luck!! All the clothing is in even better condition than anything i'd have had to pass down from my DD!!!

In total i've now bought the pram new at a cost of £210, but had originally bought a M&P 3-in-1 off ebay for £50, I've got a Cotbed from freecycle, that was £50 (my parents kindly bought us that) and have boguht a new mattress from TKMaxx that was on sale from £120 to £37!! Bedding i got new from verbaudet using the codes from on here where you get £15 off a £20 order so all my bedding that would have been about £500 to buy from there otherwise cost just over £100, but that has also got me a Duvet and all bedding for once she's in the cot as a bed too... so i'll not actually need any bedding till she's in a full-sized bed!! I've bought size 1 nappies with the vouchers you get in bounty packs (reccomend getting bounty pack from Asda as they give you extra vouchers in it there) and have been given almost new re-usables off freecycle for once baby gets to about 6wks old... And i bought a brand new baby bouncer for £30 because i really did fall in love with it, I sacrificed my monthly spends to get that.... but i bought a used one for £2.20 for my sisters baby and it looks lovely too!!

So in total I've not spent much at all on DC3, and yet she's got more than enough and will always be amazingly dressed!! There is nothing wrong with putting a newborn in used clothing at all- as long as it is clean and fresh then it isn't going to do any harm to baby!! Actually I always found my DC's hated clothes when they were brand new anyway, they were always stiff for them as newborns, things that have been used and washed a few times already must be much comfier!!

Sorry- i've really gone on here- but I was also looked down upon by a 'friend' for buying used for DC3, And I got on my high horse and decided i'm happy with it!! AND- the so called 'friend' is planning another child and doesn't mind re-usuing her DD's things if its another girl

tiggerlovestobounce · 28/01/2009 17:42

girylala - Surely the overwhelming majority of childrens clothes given to charity shops are donated because the child got bigger?

memoo · 28/01/2009 17:46

glaskham, thanks for your lovely post

I'm really happy to see that the majority of mumsnetters are unshallow, down-to-earth people with their priorities in the right place.

OP posts:
LucyEllensmummy · 28/01/2009 17:47

bugger off DP, i'll not forget - mwaahahahahahahahaha

glaskhamhasoneintheoven · 28/01/2009 17:52

sorry cotbed- was £50 on ebay!! I wouldn't have paid £50 off freecycle!!

If i'd not have given away/sold on my DC's clothing this Dc would ahve been getting used hand-me-downs with only a handful of new outfits!!

daftpunk · 28/01/2009 17:55

what's there to forget anyway?

you know lem, i take so much crap off people on here..i hardly ever get offensive back...yet i'm not allowed to forget a thread i started 18 months ago?..

IamLeticiaDean · 28/01/2009 18:00

I'm the kind of mother who loves trawling charity shops for amazing finds. Much better then wearing the same as everyone else IMHO. My DD has worn a mixture of new, hand me downs from friends and second hand clothes from charity shops. I would think anyone who has concerns about second hand clothes was being paranoid, but each to their own.

sparklesandwine · 28/01/2009 18:00

pmsl @ dafpunk getting into trouble

i have no problem with buying/using second hanf clothes from ebay/charity shop/given from friends etc, however i do agree with buying a brand new special first outfit for the baby for 'coming home' - i always have done its special to that baby and goes in their keepsake bag

MrsSeanBeanHasGivenUpIroning · 28/01/2009 18:02

Sends Daftpunk moral support.

sparklesandwine · 28/01/2009 18:06

memoo tbh i have a fair bit of stuff in great condition and i don't mind sending it to you if you can use it (we've just had baby no 5 and have no plans for anymore!), i wouldn't want anything for it either

let me know if your interested my email is [email protected]

glaskhamhasoneintheoven · 28/01/2009 18:07

OOH- sparkles- you've just reminded me of a great buy i got last week- went into oxfam, just for a browse. All kids clothing was 99p each or 3 items for £2.50... So i had a look through for summer clothing for the DC's, ended up buying 2 pairs of new looking jeans for DS from Next & Jasper Conran, a shirt for DS from Next, again looked new, 2 dresses for DD from Next & M&S both look as new still- and i bought a newborn John Lewis dress for the baby, it still had price tags on it saying £34!!! I expected to get it to the till to be told that wasn't in the 'price' but it was, so for a fiver i got stuff that would have cost tons in the shops!!!

happybeingme · 28/01/2009 18:10

I'm similar to GLASK. I am having my 3rd child and we have decided to TRY and keep spending down. The reason being that you really don't need to go mad when having a baby and why pay more if you can get as good/better for less?

I have bought an ex- display pram, was £300 but are £470 new (and hope that it will last until DC3 does'nt need a buggy), most clothes for NB and 0-3 off ebay (have'nt gone mad) - they cost a fraction of price and I also have some clothes, blankets etc from my other DC, a gorgeus baby swing (which was over £100 but we shopped around and this was cheap for this model),we are going to buy a bedside cot as we plan to co -sleep, a £20 sling, furniture for baby's room was my older DC's. We will not be buying much more and depending on what we get as presants, most next size clothes up will be from ebay or hand me downs.

memoo · 28/01/2009 18:15

sparkleandwine that is really kind of you and would be great if you really don't mind. I'll email you know

OP posts:
sparklesandwine · 28/01/2009 18:18

not at all

nickschick · 28/01/2009 18:34

Girlylala what absolute tosh .

A good friend of mine recently lost her son and believe me she cant bear to open his wardrobe least of all send all his clothes to oxfam or flog em on ebay.

So what if you did have clothes that a child wore whos passed away? the bubonic plague has passed now you know,the clothes they had would have been bought and laundered with love and care.

Comments like this are ignorant and I pity your children growing up with parents with views like yours.

Qally · 28/01/2009 18:43

I buy stuff on Ebay all the time. Why spend loads when you don't need to? My little boy has shedloads of sleepsuits, to cut down on laundry, and they cost me about a quid each - lovely soft cotton, all in good condition because everyone's babies grow so damn fast. And as shops treat clothes with chemicals to make them look good, you have to wash new things before babies wear them, so what difference is it? Washing out someone else's laundry powder, or a shop's formaldehyde treatment sprays?

I also buy really gorgeous little items to wear out (you know - on the rare occasion I summon the energy to visit anyone, these days), in fact he's wearing a Molo playsuit and a Brora cashmere cardigan as I type, because he visited his Grandpa today. Both were new with tags, as it goes, and cost a tenner each instead of £25 and £50 respectively. Maybe if I were loaded I'd not blink at buying those new, but that isn't a universe I inhabit. I am cheerfully willing to admit that I love a lot of stuff by Boden and Brora and Katvig and Mini a Ture and El Sikke Lej and Toby Tiger and Gap and... but I just can't justify buying those kinds of brands instore, given the speed babies grow, and when it's purely for my own satisfaction - he wouldn't give a damn what he wore, if it were warm and comfy. (I'm pretty sure his favourites are ultra-soft cotton sleepsuits from Mothercare, actually.) Ebay means I can dress my little guy in clothes I love, at the same price as George and Primark (and I am happy to put him those too, they have fun things sometimes.) I dunno. I think it's a sad world if people judge their own and other people's parenting on what clothing choices people make. You are not what labels you buy - hopefully.

And as to people on Ebay being "tight-aresed losers"? I bought a really cute waffle grobag when I was first pregnant. The woman mailed me to say she'd posted both the two she had, and hoped I didn't mind. I mailed back to explain that my LO wasn't planned, and was actually coming at a less than ideal time, so on the contrary, I was grateful. Next thing I knew, she was sending a huge bag of immaculate baby stuff - sleepsuits and cardigans and socks and hats and mits - from newborn to 6 months, all M&S and Mothercare and John Lewis - together with a note that her baby wasn't planned either, and had come late in life so would be a one and only, and she hoped his things ight be of use to me. She also said being a Mum was the best thing she'd ever done and she was sure I'd feel the same - only put so beautifully and sensitively. She'd obviously intuited that I was feeling a little ambivalence about the situation at that time. She refused any payment, too, when I offered. That woman never even met me, and never will, but she was amazingly kind and generous, and not just about the clothes, either. If that's a tight-arsed loser, it's one I'd delight in being.

If my baby died, I doubt I'd be posting a bundle of his clothing on Ebay. Can you imagine having the physical or emotional energy, even if you didn't want to keep his things as a momento? So that seems an anxiety it's safe to ignore, I think.

daftpunk · 28/01/2009 18:54

hey...you're back!

ScottishMummy · 28/01/2009 18:57

bottom line,i like a bargain.no other psychosocial-economic interpretation necessary.

im canny that's all

no point wasting money.

memoo · 28/01/2009 19:15

Qally, that is a truely lovely story, I am always so moved to hear about genuine kindness from a stranger. Some people have very kind hearts and good souls.

I'm going to cry in a minute, I am all pregnant and hormonal! xx

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 28/01/2009 19:22

gosh
how EXTRAORDINARY
i sometimes think i am a bit uptight about some things but i never in a million years would have thought that you shouldn't buy second hand baby clothes because there might be GERMS on them

hahhahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa

Qally · 28/01/2009 19:28

Yeah, things were very bleak financially at the time - better now, thank God, but very bleak indeed then. So I cried heaps and heaps, too!

You know, I'm judgemental of people who put newborns in gear that looks uncomfy (a peacoat for a newborn with HUGE buttons on the back - WTF, how can they cosily sleep on those?! Stiff, tight jeans for someone who'll be asleep almost all the time - how would the parent like to have to sleep wearing stiff jeans? And I saw a baby in a very smart dress but no jersey last week, when it's so flipping cold) because it's like the parents treat them as dolls, and don't stop to think about their comfort. It seems so disrespectful of the baby to do that'm a sucker for nice clothes on my LO, especially when I still don't fit into my pre-preg. ones yet, but I'm fully aware it's completely self-indulgent. He doesn't even know, let alone care.

Ebay rocks, as do people like Sparklesandwine.

hotCheeseBURNS · 28/01/2009 19:31

Much more sensible to buy second hand stuff.

When ds was newborn I washed everything with napisan before using it - whether it was new or second hand. If it's new you still don't know where it's been do you? Someone made the garment and someone else packaged it and then it was in a shop being sneezed on...