to think that it is actually quite offensive to suggest that someone who doesn't like performing certain sexual acts is uptight/buttoned up/lacking in some way...?

[wannaBe]

yes thread off the back of a thread I know. So shoot me I don't really care...

As women we are told that we should be in control. That we should never feel forced into doing something we are not comfortable with.

And yet I have just read comments on another thread basically criticising women for not feeling comfortable with certain sexual acts. Calling them selfish if they do not perform certain things for their dh's gratification. Suggesting that women who don't like to do certain things are uptight.

Since when should anything go just because it's what someone else would find pleasurable? Since when did it become wrong/unacceptable/even frowned upon to find something horrible and refuse to do it?

What other people do in the bedroom is their business. So surely what I and others refuse to do in the bedroom is also our business and no-one has the right to judge that?

I offend very very rarely, but I find it pretty offensive tbh that there are people who think that all women should do whatever the hell their dh's want because we somehow owe it to them..

Do women not have the right to say no any more then?

Is it not a bit of a faux pas to start a thread about a thread

Yes, I think that women who are 'funny' about blow jobs are uptight. So what?

yanbu course they do,
havn't read the thread in question(an won't be as not my thing)

Actually wannabe I agree with you. Pretty sure I know the thread you are on about from the title although I haven't read it so not commenting on that thread myself

But as far as I am concerned you should do whatever you wish in bed - whether its straightlaced or kinky (and isn't that open to interpretation anyway?) as long as the 2 (or more )of you are happy it's noone else's business.

And calling someone uptight for not being into something is out of order - up to the individual

Wannabe, you're right.

I haven't read the other thread either. Think I won't bother!

perhaps lightbulb but I think this is an issue which has stemmed frm the thread in question.

Because I think it is wrong to judge women based on their sexual preferences.

I don't call women who are up for anything slags, or easy, or anything amounting to that, so I don't see why those who are more selective should be judged...

lelb yes she knows, she said that in her first line.

Imo people who don't feel comfortable participating in certain activities have many reasons for this. Being uptight/buttoned up generally isn't the main reason.

Some reasons are to do with personal choice/preferences. Some people have had difficult relationships either or an abusive nature or other issues(either as a child or adult). It's a shame when what starts off as a potentially interesting discussion, starts to turn a bit judgmental.

it was supposed to be a light hearted thread asking a genuine question out of genuine curiosity ......
it even started off light hearted and a bit funny and then just deteriorated
I am a long timer and just hate the way everything has to turn into a battle on MN at the moment
There was no criticism implied really in my OP just genuine curiosity everyone is free to do as they wish in bed .....

YANBU Wannabe.

Good sex is about enjoyment. It's nice to give pleasure but if it makes you feel uneasy and uncomfortable in anyway then that is crap sex.

LELB you sound v judgemental.

Agree with you also ilbj (I mean your post here of 22:37)

I hate it if I start a thread and it descends into something that I never intended. (I don't mind discussions and offshoots, just when it goes a bit wrong like yours seems to have done)

Why not log off and go and see your new man?

no can do ex is being a twunt so everyone to scared to babysit - having to make do with text sex lol ;) PLEASE tell me thats not offensive in anyway ???

Lelb, yeah, I'm funny about giving blowjobs, cos I was forced to do it as a child.

So judge me.

[fuck right off emoticon]

ILBJ without wanting to start another thread on the same subject, I don't think your OP is a problem( having just gone and looked)

It's just that some people only see the world their way. So instead of saying "oh really, you feel like that? I feel like this" they say "that's wrong and there must be soemthing wrong with you".

Reminds me of something my dad used to have on his office wall. It was a long time ago, and I can't remember enough of it to track it down, was a great piece of feminist prose.

"If we like sex they call us nymphomaniacs, if we refuse they call us frigid"

Why are we doing this to each other... this is what society tries to impose on us as women.

For people that are lucky enough to be in happy, trusting, caring relationships... bedroom stuff is whatever makes them happy. Give and take, compromise and flexibility.

Anyway, one man's meat is another woman's gherkin...

Text sex

You slut!!!!!!!!

Have not read the other thread.

Am not planning to.

Is no way in the world I would perform the act described in the title of the other thread.

My body, my choice. Why do something that I personally find gross.

ALL text sex is offensive.

If it's any good ...

Only if it's done properly

ohhh its offensive must be good then

Can I have a link please?

here

Thanks

ILBJ it was lowEnergy (am I the only one who can see the irony in someone claiming to be up for anything having the username that contains the words low energy? ) and some that went before her that pissed me off to the point of starting a thread.

And tbh I think it's a relevant discussion. Women are over sexualized as it is, I think this expectation that women should be fulfilling certain sexual roles for the gratification of their men is just totally, totally wrong. we should have the choice, without the fear of criticism from others.

There is a difference between not understanding how someone could not enjoy something, and resorting to namecalling and belittling those who do not share one's views...

surely whatever get's you off and is acceptable and pleasurable for you should be the measuring stick

sick to death of everyone needing to follow some porn repitoire to really be liberated or enlightened these days

therefore you are not at all bu imo

wannabe I can see why you are pissed off and that genuinely wasnt my intention - it was really genuine curiosity as to how this poor poor man (who has now been enlightened lol ) had got to the ripe old age he had done .............and it started off so well ho hum