to be annoyed that the catholic church is basically saying its ok for men to not want to change nappies?

[AnguaVonUberwald]

We are getting DS christed soon, and as DH is catholic we went to see the local catholic priest about it and were given a booklet about baptism.

Now this is a glossy, 20 page booklet obviously not just produced by the local church, it must be something produced on a much wider scale.

In it they talk about having a baby, your family life, etc and they say:

"accepting each other's views and limitations makes it easier to work out how you wil organise your family life. For example, if dad just can't bring himself to change the baby, there is really no point in mother feeling low and envious of the girl at the clinic whose husband does everything; after all, he may have other failings. Better for each to build on the positive points they find in their relationships."

I find this so annoying and insulting and patronising. How dare they suggest that something so vital to a baby can just be shrugged off by the father as "I can't bring myself to do it"

They don't go on to make any equivalent "mum can't do it" examples either.

It makes me angrier every time I think about it!

I would be more jealous of the woman whos husband was at the clinic with the baby

No bibles wont save people from AIDS condoms might.... o some good old fashion abstinence.

The catholic is very very out of touch with the real world

YANBU!!

Where does the bible mention nappies? I think the comments in the boolet are unhelpful, sexist and also fatalistic - might be worth starting a thread to get people to write and complain to whoever published it...it would be more helpful for the pamphlet to point out to men that they should be christian and offer to help their wives more!!

oh. another catholic church bashing thread. wow.

yawn.

it's a good thing that no other religion, group or culture is sexist. 'em catlicks are just eeeeevil.
or else it's just easy to go after them.

whatever.

Mumsnet is particularly oddly anti-Catholic. It seems to be the only faith left that is not protected by politcal correctness. Can you imagine anyone blithely referring to a rabbi etc as 'a man in a dress'?

Why does the concept of 'original sin' upset people so much? My only objection to christenings is that they are a bit boring and you can't usually booze much afterwards. I fully support and 'get' the fact that human existance, from pretty early on is a bit of a battle to be good, and most of us fight it and get make mistakes along the way, which is why we teach little ones very early one concepts of good, bad, trust, honesty. I don't believe as humans we are all born inately 'good' at all.
stands back and waits to get flamed. In all honesty, the world and a lot of the adults and kids in it could do with a lot stonger sense of guilt.
Back to the OP-I think you are propping up a tired old accusation with a very tenuous example. The leaflet is a bit old fashioned, is all. From a feminist angle, Nuts, Page Three and the huge amount of baby chick lit like Rennison et al being foisted on the next generation is much more insidious and 'sexist' that this leaflet.

I think the overall point of the paragraph - ie focus on what each of you can do and work as a team - is a v good one. Just a shame that it uses such a poor example in an attempt to illustrate it.

I confess I am a lapsed catholic.

However, I think all world religions are sexist and it is not just confined to the catholic church.

I have noticed that there is a lot of catholic bashing on MN. No other religion is singled out so much on this web-site to the extent catholics are.

It's a good job I didn't get too worked up about DH not changing nappies.....only 3 on 3 months....yes I was counting...because he is practiaclly perfect, and better that anyother dad in every other way.

It's just a weak example......like saying don't get upset if your husband has to work 6 days a week just to keep a roof over your head, and the other mums at baby group are off to Barbados on their holiday. That too is a weak example.

Calm down dear.

Princeonthemove...I don't think it's jsut MN that is anti Catholic...I think it's society at large.

princeonthemove on the threads I have been on the vast majority of people who are "anti-catholic" are or have been catholics. Many are lapsed or have turned their backs on it. They speak from their experience of the catholic church, and I think it's unfair to compare that to blind prejudice.

Many of us have many issues with the teachings of the catholic church, which have led to us questioning/leaving the church. We are allowed to have different views of this faith.

Would you really recommend that someone signs their child up for catholicism, and all that involves, without being fully abreast of what the religion is all about, both it's unpopular views as well as it's popular ones.

Well, to add some balance does this book also state that (from the bj thread)

" For example, if wife just can't bring herself to give a BJ there is really no point in hubby feeling low and envious of the colleague at work whose wife gives one every night, after all, she may have other failings. Better for each to build on the positive points they find in their relationships."

lovesdogsandcats.

But as you're not supposed to have sex except for procreation, and a BJ clearly won't accomplish that, i think the DH may receive an unsympathetic ear from the priest!

i agree with you thecrackfox.....catholics are a soft target.... but our schools are fine, alot of people on here seem to want to get into our schools?

lovemydog, how apt!

I'm an ex-Catholic myself, kids not baptized. Can't you just ignore em, suck it up and wait for the last laugh when it comes to getting into a good school?

I don't send my DCs to the Catholic school 100 yards from my house, even though it is lovely, because I felt it would be slightly hypercritical.

However, lots of non Catholic DCs go there and then their parents have the cheek to complain that their DCs are learning about Catholic traditions. I mean, WTF? What did they expect?

I have know people come out with the most bigoted statements (not realising I used to be Catholic) but as soon as they start breeding they soon change their tune and don't mind hanging out with Catholics. Twats.

re the op
this is soooo not something to be upset about. men changing or not changing nappies is NOT a big deal. far far more important things to be stressed out about.

BoF top call, the schools are usually fab.

I personally couldn't pretend just to get my DC in - as I doubt my reaction when they came home and told me what they learnt at school would be much good for anyone!

It find it hilarious and rather feeble when people who have always questioned the faith suddenly discover it when their DC start heading for school age.

I mean if you think it's a load of rubbish (which many of these people do) then why send your kids to learn all about it???

Crackfox, mine don't go to the (closer) Catholic schools either for the same reason ...it's just then as I've got older and less arsed about a whole raft of things, I've started to think things like "Oh but the school is so much nearer, the results are so much better, a Catholic education never did me any harm" etc etc. Which is a slippery slope,I know...

flimflammum, I shouldn't have been surprised I guess, but I was

Tumtummum, this is my very first brush with the catholic church, I will have to think very carefully before I agree to have DS baptised catholic.

Bit of Fun, I know what you mean. I trudge to school and back 3 times a day (DS2 is in nursery there) and I wistfully look across the lovely park at the lovely Catholic school and think "why am I so up my own arse?"

I was very much put off a catholic education by an essay set at the girls school when we were teenagers - I won't tell you what it was as it's a different debate but just made me think that I would never give my DC that education.

Apols to dogsandcats btw, I'm doing that a lot lately...you would never believe I was very principled and sharp as a pin before I started turning into a Grumpy Old Woman.

If a father won't change nappies at all then it is a big deal. It effectively means that the mother can't go out and leave the child with the father for the first 2 or 3 years.

all my dc go to catholic schools...they could have gone to other schools (one actually had better results)..but even though i don't agree with everything the catholic church says, i would never turn away.