to be annoyed that the catholic church is basically saying its ok for men to not want to change nappies?

[AnguaVonUberwald]

We are getting DS christed soon, and as DH is catholic we went to see the local catholic priest about it and were given a booklet about baptism.

Now this is a glossy, 20 page booklet obviously not just produced by the local church, it must be something produced on a much wider scale.

In it they talk about having a baby, your family life, etc and they say:

"accepting each other's views and limitations makes it easier to work out how you wil organise your family life. For example, if dad just can't bring himself to change the baby, there is really no point in mother feeling low and envious of the girl at the clinic whose husband does everything; after all, he may have other failings. Better for each to build on the positive points they find in their relationships."

I find this so annoying and insulting and patronising. How dare they suggest that something so vital to a baby can just be shrugged off by the father as "I can't bring myself to do it"

They don't go on to make any equivalent "mum can't do it" examples either.

It makes me angrier every time I think about it!

don't forget that although priests can only be women (sexist) men can't marry and I do know of a prest who was very unhappy coming to retirement that he was unable to marry and have a family (also sexist)

I think it's a case of do your research before you opt to join the club. I have issues with a lot of catholocism due to my mother being a catholic and working in a catholic school and seeing first hand the experiences of teachers, priests, nuns and parents.

last week in church, our priest said that even if you just think about having sex with someone else you've commited adultery...

PMSL@OP! I can't believe it said that. That's hilarious.

I think they diminish a reasonable point with such a pathetic example.

I would be forced to goose the nearest priest to appease my annoyance.

daftpunk on Sat 24-Jan-09 10:29:18
"last week in church, our priest said that even if you just think about having sex with someone else you've commited adultery... "

Not his own. He was quoting Jesus actually.

Qoute .... "envious of the girl at the clinic whose husband does everything"

After all, Catholics believe in miracles

If a man in a dress fervently believes that the earth was created in 6 days then I wouldn't take too much notice of anything else he has to say.

that's quite hard to do though cory isn't it....living your whole life without looking at someone else and thinking phaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawh!

To do Jesus justice, I don't think he meant those passing thoughts that cross through everybody's life. I think he meant more when you choose to indulge in long dreams about somebody else's husband etc.

Rollmops on Sat 24-Jan-09 10:39:15

"If a man in a dress fervently believes that the earth was created in 6 days then I wouldn't take too much notice of anything else he has to say. "

Creation of earth in 6 days is not Catholic dogma; lots of Catholics don't believe this; more prevalent among the other end of the Christian spectrum

paperchase -

What Cory said. It is a ill-informed myth that Catholics are creationists. Far from it-if you want a highly informed, non-bible centric, intellectual, challenging and mystical faith system Catholicism is not a bad choice.

Adultery = impure thoughts, impure words, impure deeds.

Best quote from Angela's Ashes: "You've no shoe to your foot, but you're powerful with the sixth commandment and that will keep you holy"

This also holds true for a man. You may not agree with it but this piece of dogma is definitely not sexist as it applies completely equally to both sexes.

I dont really read it as beng sexist but as saying you have chosen your partner, you know his faults focus on the positive.

I speak as a catholic woman who is the main breadwinner and whose partner ( I am a fallen divorced woman) does everything at home. Noone at my church raises an eyebrow at that arrangement.

I dont know any Catholics who are creationists either or who take their theology from Angela's Ashes.

To get back to the OP [cough cough], you haven't commented on how it's a 'girl' at the clinic, not a woman. That's another clue as to the mindset of the writer.

Come on, you can't seriously be surprised at this attitude, can you? (I'm an ex-Catholic.)

To the OP - I think that if this is your reaction to the leaflet there are likely to be a lot of things in the Catholic Church which you find distasteful or even downright wrong.

I think that you should reconsider getting your DC christened in this church. As part of the christening you will have to have the devil cast out of your baby and agree to raise the child in the catholic faith.

Are you going to be comfortable with that?

As someone who was raised a catholic I find the christenings very odd - the whole original sin concept - and that the teeny tiny baby is impure etc and I would never be able to go through with it.

And YANBU the leaflet is sexist twaddle but YABU to expect anything else.

Is this your first brush with the catholic church?

lol at the thought of a priest(who cant get married or have kids) typing out the drivel in the booklet- no person who hasnt experienced the joy of parenthood should dictate to the people who have, ever. personally speaking nuns are worse than priests when it comes to sexism(and just about everything else)

with nuns, it nun of this and nun of that! nun fun! - sorry bad catholic school joke!

klled another thread!

I do actually read it as being sexist. Because they would never say:

'if the mother cannot bring herself to change nappies, then the father should just accept it and do it'

But we're being told to accept the fact that some father won't change nappies - and I do know fathers who refuse to change nappies.

Agree with tumtetum here. please do more research because once they get into your lives it's the catholic guilt (other that the normal run of the mill mother guilt) which will get to you.They are all so expert at emotional blackmail too (must be part of the training. And they are always right! Can't you talk to your dh about his expectaions of bringing up baby in this religion and his participation in it, as it is what he wants I take it. seriously
i.e. who will be taking dc to church every week, who will be taking dc to catechism classes, doing the homework with them, teaching the bible, taking them to their first 'confession' holy communion etc etc there is more. By the way a lot of catholic churches I attended had separate rooms for mums - didn't see any dads - and babies to go in and it was always soooooo full of course you couldn't hear the mass properly.

if you get a father who wont change a baby's nappy - you should chuck it at him and shout catch -once hes had sh*te covered hands a few times , hes cured of the " i cant do nappies" thing! epecially if your aim is bad and accidentally hit him in the head with it! lol

When DS was baptised we watched a film and it had a man talking about fatherhood (in an unsexist way), and all his kids jumping all over him. And there is more men and kids than women in kids in our 'wild west' room. I don't think sexism sits at the Catholic Churchs door, it's just the way things used to be and many people, not just priests, live in the dark ages. My MW at parenting classes said to cook loads of meals for the freezer to help our DHs after the birth

This would be the same church that gives out bibles in the Congo not condoms despite AIDS wiping out millions..... booklet + recycle bin = best

and i thought the catholic no condom thing was so we'd breed more catholics for them! lol, bibles arent going to save their congragation from aids!