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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be frightened to tell dp

108 replies

namechangeasdpisalurker · 21/01/2009 11:41

Sad
OP posts:
Wizzska · 21/01/2009 11:50

Gosh this thread moves quickly.

MarmadukeScarlet · 21/01/2009 11:50

Some good friends of mine, he had a vascectomy after DD3 (unplanned) was born with severe CP and they knew coping with another DC would be a struggle.

DC4 arrived somewhile later, yes it was a little tense at the beginning, but these things (the snip) aren't 100% reliable.

If you have not cheated, unless you believe in the immaculate conception, there is no other explaination for it.

Yurtgirl · 21/01/2009 11:50

How long ago did he have the snip?

As long as you havent slept with someone else its hardly your fault is it

Do you get on alright normally - you really shouldnt feel frightened to talk to him about things

purpleduck · 21/01/2009 11:51

Happened to my friend - but they didn't wait the whole time.

Get a test girl!!

Kimi · 21/01/2009 11:51

Risk of failure

Pregnancy may occur after vasectomy because of:

  • Failure to use another birth control method until the sperm count is confirmed to be zero. It usually takes 10 to 20 ejaculations to completely clear sperm from the semen.
  • Spontaneous reconnection of a vas deferens or an opening in one end that allows sperm to mix with the semen again.
Original poster
namechangeasdpisalurker · 21/01/2009 11:54

hes had two negative tests and was given the all clear to drop the contraceptives,we have children and didnt want anymore.also had contraception failure which is why he went for the snip . i feel like im going to lose him over something that shouldnt have happened. am too frightened to test, but im exhausted ,3 weeks late and have colestrum leaking, have put on a lot of weight. he had snip in july.

OP posts:
Yurtgirl · 21/01/2009 11:56

Have you slept with someone else though?

Because if you havent I really dont see how he can be cross with you

Please try not to worry

ComeOVeneer · 21/01/2009 11:57

It takes two to tango as the saying goes. I know you are afraid but you have to test, you can't move forward and deal with this until you have.

Original poster
namechangeasdpisalurker · 21/01/2009 11:57

also should add that during pregnancy with my son i still had periods and didnt find out untill i was nearly 5 months,. shit

OP posts:
MarmadukeScarlet · 21/01/2009 11:57

I can still express and haven't bf for 3 yrs, if that is of any comfort?

I posted on here about it ages ago and several folks fessed up to similar.

Lilyloo · 21/01/2009 11:58

Surely you need to test first this won't go away so you need to deal with it.

Then IF you are pg he will have to deal with it , accidents happen and this isn't your fault.

Blondie79 · 21/01/2009 11:59

Namechanged - I have not read every single post butjust wanted to let you know I am in exactly this position. In fact I am 1 week today off my due date.

I never cheated on my husband. It just either didn't work or we got caught before he got the all clear (he has never had the results back). It can happen.

HTH.

YeahBut · 21/01/2009 12:00

If he is the only man you've had sex with, then how can he possibly be angry 'with you'. You've done all you can to take reasonable precautions that may have failed. Not your fault. Do the test. Do it today and then decide what to do next.

Gorionine · 21/01/2009 12:00

My lovely neighbour had 2 Dcs after her Dh had a vasectomy. Apparently he had not bothered going to the follow on check up to make sure operation had been successfully done!

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 21/01/2009 12:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
namechangeasdpisalurker · 21/01/2009 12:01

its not from expressing its leaking, not much but enough to stain my tops.im not frightened of dp, just that he'd ask me to terminate if i definatly am pg.i couldnt choose between my darling dp and a baby we'd made(even if we tried to prevent that happening)

OP posts:
Fimbo · 21/01/2009 12:03

Dh has had the snip, neither of us want anymore children, we had a scare at the weekend as I was very late. Our biggest argument discussion was what names we would choose.

Talk to your dp his reaction may not be what you expect and get yourself a test asap.

Good luck

NewAppallingBeginning · 21/01/2009 12:03

There honestly sounds more to it that you are worried he won't believe you haven't cheated.

Go to the shop now and get a test.

It might be negative and you can stop worrying. If it is positive, tell him you are pregnant and that his sperm must be super sperm and the snip doesn't work for everyone.

You need to test now.

good luck.

Fimbo · 21/01/2009 12:04

If he doesn't believe you have not cheated, show him this thread. It does and can happen.

Original poster
namechangeasdpisalurker · 21/01/2009 12:06

im sitting here with tears running down my face, watching my toddler play with his toys and my heart is breaking. i do have to go get a TEST before dp comes home from work.

OP posts:
Fimbo · 21/01/2009 12:07

Go to a chemist NOW. You are going to drive yourself demented.

Yurtgirl · 21/01/2009 12:07

Why dont you go to the shop now? You could have an answer by 1 o'clock!

NewAppallingBeginning · 21/01/2009 12:08

Nothing can be worse than the fear you are going through now, and it might all be for nothing.

Original poster
namechangeasdpisalurker · 21/01/2009 12:09

right im going, what test is most accurate?

OP posts:
BlameItOnTheBogey · 21/01/2009 12:10

I think there is one on the market now which tells you how pregnant you are. Did I make that up? Good luck - what an awful situation to be in.