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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that in a crowded swimming lesson only one parent for each child should be allowed?

23 replies

mm22bys · 17/01/2009 12:21

I take DS2 for swimming lessons every Saturday, and the class is full (14 children?). We only get to use half the pool as the bigger kids who can swim on their own use the "deep" end.

Even when there is only one parent per child, it is crowded and we have to shuffle around to cross the pool.

Today there was a child whose parents felt it necessary for both to be in the pool with the child.

While it is lovely that mummy and daddy are taking such an interest in their PFB's swimming classes, normally only parent goes in the pool, and the other parent, sits by the side of the pool.

They could also take turns taking their PFB in the pool.

I would not have a problem if the class wasn't full, but the "extra" parent today was in my, and other parents' way several times, and I think out of courtesy to other parents, only one parent should be allowed per child.

AIBU?

OP posts:

mazzystartled · 17/01/2009 12:22

yanbu
but it is up to the swimming baths/organisers to sort this out, don't be grumpy with the parents of the pfb

Original poster

mm22bys · 17/01/2009 12:24

Oh I didn't . Just thought I would have a whinge here instead!

OP posts:

purepurple · 17/01/2009 12:24

no YANBU they should definitely take it in turns. Imagine if every child had 2 parents in the pool and they both weighed 20 stone each!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There would be no water left in the pool, water displacement theory and all that

onager · 17/01/2009 12:31

Tell those in charge they need a bigger pool. What if more kids come along? That's what council tax is for isn't it.

Encourage parents who take an interest. We need more of those and less of the other kind.

UnfortunatelyMe · 17/01/2009 12:33

Get the parents out of the pool altogether and let them be taught how to swim? WHY are you in the pool with them?

Northernlurker · 17/01/2009 12:41

Do people really get het up about this sort of thing?
Maybe the child had asked both the parents to come in, maybe they've been away working all week and want to do things together, maybe one of them has been diagnosed with a serious illness and they need to do things with their child whilst they are able to. Maybe you should all just shuffle round a bit and think about what's for lunch!

Really - I wouldn't think twice about this.

LIZS · 17/01/2009 12:49

Was it their first time ? Perhaps they paln to alternate coming so both wanted to know the format iyswim ? Could have been one with one on the side though. Have a quiet word with the instructor.

lovelysongbirdie · 17/01/2009 12:51

yabvu

Clarissimo · 17/01/2009 13:07

What Onager said. For sure.

tootyflooty · 17/01/2009 13:48

little tots have to have a parent with them, it's different when it is just a social swim session, but in a lesson set up it, they should limit 1 adult per child, my sil and bil both take their ds1,I know they both want quality time etc, but they could alternate, it's actually nice to watch as you get a different persepective, I would mention it to the pool maanger if it really bothers you.

AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 17/01/2009 13:53

I think YABU and grumpy. The fun and general pleasantness of both parents taking their PFB swimming together far outweighs the very minor inconvenience it caused you.

bubblagirl · 17/01/2009 14:05

i think you abvu if the pool is crowded then its down to whoever does lesson to arrange a time when pool can be used by just you

my d sis autistic and would have me and dp with him if he went swimming and to insinuate its precious first born is two parents who together are spending quality time with there child and think its great

bubblagirl · 17/01/2009 14:06

my ds that should say i wouldnt feel comfortable on my own with ds swimming

Original poster

mm22bys · 17/01/2009 14:09

It was a lesson, not a general free-for-all.

In the past, during lessons, the pool managers have actually asked parents to not even sit at the side because it distracts the kids in the pool.....

This was a class for 18 month to 30 month olds, so IWBVU to expect them to be able to swim on their own....

OP posts:

paolosgirl · 17/01/2009 14:10

Of course YANBU. If it's a general swim session, then of course it's fine, but in an overcrowded swimming lesson no.

If only it was that simple to ask for a bigger pool!!! Council tax has been frozen up here for the second year in a row, and quite frankly there are far more needy causes than a new pool - and have you any idea how much they cost???? Need versus want here methinks.

Original poster

mm22bys · 17/01/2009 14:13

Some of YASU! I am not asking for the pool to myself, I just think that when you and 12 other parents pay for a swimming lesson, which is too many anyway, it IS unreasonable for two parents of one child to be in the pool at the same time!

OP posts:

Original poster

mm22bys · 17/01/2009 14:19

Bubblagirl, I take your point about under some circumstances needing two parents for one child. How old is your DS? This was a class for very young children - 18 to 30 month olds.

OP posts:

bubblagirl · 17/01/2009 15:26

his 3 half but even at 2 would have needed both of us

i can understand your frustration though but think its poor planning from swimming staff should make sure you have use of the pool

paolosgirl · 17/01/2009 16:12

If the child is disabled in some way and needs 2 adults to support him, then of course there should be 2 adults there.

Was this the case, though, or was it simply that both his parents wanted to be there? It's not a huge problem in the overall scheme of things, but it does rely on everyone else only having one adult, or it would be a bit of a tight squeeze!

Original poster

mm22bys · 17/01/2009 16:13

Some two year olds are more than a handful bubbagirl!

I rang the swimming pool before, and apparently it IS OK to have more than one parent in with a child, but it's up to the teacher's discretion. The person I spoke to said if I had any concerns to raise them with the teacher. They also confirmed it is OK for any number of parents sit at the side of the pool (good to see they've changed their policy on that one...)

OP posts:

sarah293 · 17/01/2009 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

mm22bys · 17/01/2009 16:17

Agree Paolos. While I know some "disabilities" are not always "visible", I don't think this was the case, she actually looked like a very happy young child having fun in the pool, it didn't seem that she had any issues, and it didn't seem that the parents were there to support each other in any way.

I could be wrong though, I have actually thought about this some more, and maybe one of the parents needed to have the other there for THEIR help and support (eg epilepsy or diabetes or something else that's "invisible").

Glad I posted here, I know it's not a big deal in the scheme of things, but there could be any number of reasons why they were both there....

No we wouldnt have been able to move if everyone had both parents, gps, aunts, uncles in with them for the swimming lesson!

OP posts:

thumbwitch · 17/01/2009 16:20

in our babyswimming classes, it specifies that only one parent is allowed in the pool with the child. The other is allowed to watch but not participate.

So, no, YANBU and the organiser should have said something.

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