To be fed up with the party bag miseries?

[highfive]

What's wrong with party bags? If you can afford to do them - and don't fill them with crap like plastic tat and nasty sweets...what's wrong with them? I spent ages decorating bags for my dd's 5th party - I love art & craft so I made a real effort with them and I must say they looked lovely! I filled them with a small book, a wooden whistle, some stickers and a small chocolate bar. They went down well and I felt quite proud. Fast forward to the following Monday and a mum whose daughter had been to the party said "thanks for the party - X really enjoyed it - but why on earth you've set the precedent for doing party bags I just don't know....don't they get enough stuff without adding to their pile. Well, don't expect them at my daughter's party, I just don't agree with them"? Miserable cow - I was so surprised I just mumbled something and shuffled off like an idiot feeling like I'd acted very badly.
I know some of you dislike them/hate them but fgs what is the harm??

The worst one DS one ever got was a clear plastic bag witha bar of soap and a small packet of rice krispies in it ! He was just so puzzled! Same mother turned up to his party and proudly showed me how his present was wrapped in recycled Christmas paper.

Here are my thoughts after 15 years of party bags:

1. they are a great way of getting children to LEAVE a party, so they get my vote
2. I hate plastic tat, but let's be honest, the children love it so would never moan about it
3. I wouldn't be upset if parents didn't provide them but
4. I wouldn't be passing comment if people made a really good job of them, like highfive obviously did. It's not a competition 5)that said, I used to look out for party bag fillers a month or so ahead of the party and have come up with some real bargains so it can look like I've pushed the boat out on party bags but have never spent more than £1 per bag (apart from a shared party where we spent £1 each)
5. with a bit of thought and planning you can get really good party bags for next to nothing.

BUT don't worry. I expect the Mum who was so rude to you highfive was probably wondering how she could do such a good job on party bags when perhaps she hasn't the time or money. So glad my party bag days are behind me (tho we did get a goody bag at my friend's 40th recently!!!)

Unfortunately children's birthday parties have a lot of competition attached to them. Maybe that's why as the children get older they disappear so quickly. Which is a pity, because I remember going to some fab parties as a child. In our last year in the UK I think ds got invites to two parties, and dd about five. They are now eight and nine. I find, as I am sure a lot of people do, the whole thing incredibly stressful, and can imagine at least feeling the thoughts of the mum in the OP. Very rude to say it to the person who has just given a lovely party though.

I agree with party bags but traditional cake in napkin, few sweets, plastic tat

I do think what you did sounds wonderful but IMO OTT - HOWEVER, I would never ever complain or say something like this woman. I would accept graciously and leave it at that.

Why does she feel she would have to reciprocate OR that you would EXPECT her to reciprocate? Mad bint. Different horses for different courses.

We had a party at a soft play place and had tab behind counter for parents to order their drinks and we settled at the end. Went to same place for a friend's party yesterday but she didn't have tab, parents paid for their own drinks. Did I think it was tight/weird? No - didn't even cross my mind. Everyone doesn;t have to be the SAME.

I love party bags, and yours sound ace, highfive. I'm actually searching the web for ideas for wee things to put in them right now.

I have to admit I was a wee bit when my friend's four-year-old came to me at the end of my DS's birthday party demanding one. I think I asked him what he meant and he said: "Well it IS a party isn't it?", answer: "Yes..." "So where's my party bag?" If I hadn't already handed it to my friend I think I wouldn't have given him one at all.

I love doing party bags.Love some of the ideas here.

Lady sounds rude, to me, I would have been just like you- not known what to say, and be upset.

I make things for a living, so making things for parties/presents is the obvious thing to me- but I get a bit self concious because there appears to be quite a lot of mums obsessed with 'keeping up with the joneses' and they can be quite bitchy - it seems they think you are either

a)being cheap giving home made

or

b) showing off/setting precedents

I had this dilemma over our Christmas cards, as I never normally buy them, but didn't know how homemade cards would go down at DS preschool.

But I will stick to my guns. I had a bit of a crappy childhood and I enjoy doing things for /with my children.

In my experience it doesn't matter how much money/effort has gone into the party bags as long as they are green. Homemade fabric party bags are lovely, and my daughter uses them a lot for playing shops, but I don't feel the need to make them just because other mums do.

I get a stack of paper bags from the corner shop (the kind used for penny sweets) and my dd does a drawing on each one; we put in a pencil and notebook and a chocolate in each one. This costs hardly anything and people don't seem to mind. I wouldn't use plastic party bags; that would be social suicide.

Social suicide, Milly? They are the norm where I live!

I live in a plastic bag free area; you have to take your own shopping bags with you or buy a cloth bag when you are at the shop as they will not provide you with a plastic bag.

So a plastic bag as a party bag would be viewed with horror!

Message withdrawn

I live in that sort of area too, and have a supply of cloth bags for the supermarket but every party my boys have ever been at, the plastic party bags abound!

If anyone's planning crafty partys - try this website. I stumbled across it via the Arts and Crafts thread the other day and have added it my faves ready for DD's birthday in September - it's fab!

www.yellowmoon.org.uk/

dilemma- party bags should always have some plastic bling in, surely

I've done strechimals before now- do they count as plastic tat?

What is a strechimal?

Womblingfree, tell your PTA about yellow moon; I think if they sign up then everytime someone buys something from YM the school gets a percentage if the buyer puts in a school specific code, or you can buy from the school like schoollink books.

excuse my poor spelling! Not an expert typist!!

stretchimals

Havent read the whole thread, but sympathise with OP after havign made loads of effort but equally party bags are generally plastic tat - all those plastic bags going to waste - and usually filled with junk.
Someone mentioned paper bags, where can you find them?
Like that idea, as well as coloured pencils/mini bubbles etc...

I have not seen them in animal form before, but we have had stretchy alien men in party bags before, and I do love the texture of them, so tend to steal them away from my children.

DS is never without a stretchimal in his pocket- he lovves plopping them on DD1's head!

I also bought some bits when sainsbury's were doping a half price toys thing. Small pots of glitter playdoh, some of those little board books in box sets- I split them up for little presents.

I make the bags, though. I just run them up out of left over cloth. THye are handy for keeping small toys together in the playroom, too.

Yellow moon is good, but if you want larger amounts of tat for party bags, their parent site Baker Ross is great. And it is cheaper (you get to keep the percentage you would otherwise have given to your PTA ). AND last time I looked they were selling stretchy men and stretchy aliens

Ooh will look at Baker Ross. DD doesn't start school til September but will bear in mind the PTA factor then.