Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take my complaint to the headmaster? Genuine opinions wanted

163 replies

namechangenamechange · 14/01/2009 16:45

DD is in year 2. Her "PPA" teacher who she has once a week as cover for her normal form tutor was reading to the children from the minipins book. When they left for the day, she picked out 12 children in the class who were "slim" "beautiful" "lovely and "skinny" and said they cold get their coats on first and said "the other 15 of you are too fat and big you'll have to go second, you're not as lovely and sknny as the others.

In what planet is it ok to classify children according to their weight?????

I should clarify here, that DD, despite being in the second group, is actually officially underweight at the doctors, as she is quite tall for her age - but she was in the fat group! That however is irrelevant, my argument is that children should never be criticised for baing fat by a teacher, or made to feel like the less good group simply by weight, which at age of 6 is nothing to do with them anyway.

I went back in to school immediately after my daughter told me this and spoke to this temp teacher. She said it was due to the book and the story of the book, but said anyone who would get upset about it was stilly, then she said to me DD, "don't be upset by this, a lot of other children in the class are much fatter and uglier than you are but don't tell them that".

On the grounds that she:-

  1. classified children by weight and made the skinny group the good children and the fat group the bad group
  2. Used the word fat in a deroggatory manner
  3. Failed to accept that this was a problem when questioned and
  4. Further repeated to DD in front of me that other children were fat and ugly

I think I should take the following points to the headmaster.

What are people's thoughts of this? I know the teacher has been complained about before for mnay different reasons and that is why she, close to retirement, is on PPA cover rather than having her own class.

OP posts:
Original poster
namechangenamechange · 14/01/2009 17:52

Just read all the posts and realised I didn't answer two questions:

  1. It is a state school, primary, not a church school or independent school.
  1. The book was Minipins, apparently when the boy was small he was allowed to fly on a swan but he was told when he was bigger he wouldn't be able to do it. The teacher in DD's class maintains it was to correlate with the book - The children who were small enough to ride on the swans were allowed to go early today with positive comments on their "lovely and slim" figures or tiny heights and the "fat and big" children had to wait a while to leave.
OP posts:
Tiramissu · 14/01/2009 17:57

I thought this was a joke.
Is it real then???

If it is i would definitely complain.

Original poster
namechangenamechange · 14/01/2009 18:05

Not a joke at all. I promise, I would not joke about this, and absolutely not clarify my mn membership with mile for maude participation if I were a troll. I'm a genuine and serious mnetter and this absolutely happened to my DD today.

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 14/01/2009 18:13

YANBU
She is a nutter.

I can well believe this because one of my friends sent her son inadvertently to a school where the teacher lined the children up in height order to go to lunch every day. He was born on 31 August so always the smallest. He ended up with a massive complex about his size. She pulled him out and he started Reception all over again, but as the biggest this time. It worked a treat, but I thought that teaher was a nutter too. Honestly, it's a disgrace to the profession.

PurpleGlitterMouse · 14/01/2009 20:07

You're definitely not being unreasonable. And as a teacher, I have, unfortunately, met one or two teachers like the one in question

I've done the 'exclude a group to prove a point' (in our case apartheid, with Year 7). We chose those with blonde hair, and they were shocked and not entirely disbelieving. BUT we left plenty of time to debrief so no-one was too traumatised.

Definitely have words with the head, ask what action will be taken, get minutes of the meeting plus action points and follow up if you're unhappy.

Annner · 14/01/2009 20:08

IIRC, In Fattipufffs ans Thinnifers, it was the lovely cuddly Fattipuffs who were the role models to aspire to for their kindness, and the mean and stingy Thinnifers who were seen as less being far less appealing. So it wouldn't have been that book (which I haven't read since I was about nine.....)

loobeylou · 14/01/2009 20:08

gorionine, I wondered about that too, we were given the details of that racism experiment in teacher training college. But to do it at the end of a day without explaining/putting their minds at rest/letting them in on the joke is unforgivable. And I think the subject matter too delicate for that kind of joke anyway, just as the "eyes" thing would be a no no thesedays.

I hope she is not getting paid as much as the younger/slimmer/prettier/kinder models?

wotulookinat · 14/01/2009 20:12

I suspect your child is not telling you the whole truth.

secretagentmum · 14/01/2009 20:12

WTF how outrageous, what a vile human being!

quint · 14/01/2009 20:14

If the head has a habit of sitting on complaint then you need to include others in your initial letter as others have suggested - stupid tart (the teacher not you!)

secretagentmum · 14/01/2009 20:18

Wotulookinat: The OP has spoke to the teacher she has admitted that she not only did the dividing up but also repeated that some children where fat and ugly to the OP and her DD.

wotulookinat · 14/01/2009 20:19

still don't believe it, I'm afraid.

Hulababy · 14/01/2009 20:24

Def complain. I'm stunned!

TheOldestCat · 14/01/2009 20:28

You MUST complain and tell us what the headmaster says. Like Hulababy, I'm utterly stunned by this teacher. What on earth did she think she was doing?

nametaken · 14/01/2009 20:32

LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE

lipstickjungle · 14/01/2009 20:36

if this was in a certain country you could sue for mental distress to you and your daughter, 1st her then the school, what a bloodycow.

TheOldestCat · 14/01/2009 20:36

Oooh, do you mean me?

FattipuffsandThinnifers · 14/01/2009 20:39

Annner: IIRC, In Fattipufffs ans Thinnifers, it was the lovely cuddly Fattipuffs who were the role models to aspire to for their kindness, and the mean and stingy Thinnifers who were seen as less being far less appealing.

Yes you are right . The Fattipuffs also had a 6-day rest/1-day work rule. What a nice life.

Still, don't think a book like this would be published now would it!

As you were...

lipstickjungle · 14/01/2009 20:40

the teacher is the bloodycow !

scifinerd · 14/01/2009 20:40

If this is true and it really does beggar belief, then I would be complaining to every educational body I could find - governors, ofsten, lea you name it. It is beyond horrifying. I would be tempted to remove my child from the school. I really am too too horrified and I am finding it hard to believe. I woulkd actually print this thread to show the headmaster so he could see how shocked everyone on here is.

Annner · 14/01/2009 20:42

OOh, it's coming back to me now: wasn't it illustrated by Quentin Blake? Lots of lovely cuddly people, and spiky types with no laps... I can't remember the ending, though.

PottyCock · 14/01/2009 20:43

Jesus bloody Christ. This could have a devastating effect on some of those kids. Idiot.

PoloPlayingMummy · 14/01/2009 21:46

YANBU at all. This is atrocious behaviour - complain!

MegaPhone · 14/01/2009 21:55

I don't believe this either.

Nellycake · 14/01/2009 22:15

I trained as a primary teacher. The comments you describe the teacher making are absolutely unacceptable and need to be firmly addressed by the school. If the school is worth it's salt, it will take this matter up with the agency (if applicable) that supplied this person.