to think that it's icky that my bf's fiancé is thinking of using the same best man as for his first marriage?

[OrangeKnickers]

I think it's ewwwwwwww! But bf doesn't mind. Obviously it's nothing to do with me but I don't want them to be laughed at by others (as I would snigger if I heard this about someone else).

AIBU?

Doesn't the groom choose his best buddy?

Presumably he still has the same best buddy.

Same cake, that is a bit out of order.

Well, it's the same groom, isn't it? It's quite nice they've been best friends through thick and thin really.

Yes you are.

He's using the same groom, why not the same bm?

LOL at same cake

That would be out of order

I can understand him choosing the same best man if he trusts him, is close to him and wants him to play an important part in the day.

I just hope the best man also has the decency to remain tactful when doing his speech - absolutely no "jokes" about any apsect of the 1st marriage, or how he's an old hand at the job etc.

I think its fine and not ewwwwwwww at all.

I had the same bridesmaid at both of mine.

And if dh had been married before and had chosen the same best man I wouldn't have minded. He did a fantastic job and he's a lovely man.

We went to a second wedding/same best man last year - it was lovely. The best man made an upfront joke about us all having seen him do this, with all his best lines, before.

However ... I suspect it very much depends on the circumstances of the break-up of the first marriage and the feelings about the second.

I think its fine and no one would laugh

I just used the same photographer as my first marriage because she was so good Only my mum noticed though

He should change his best mate and find a new best man???? What??? No I don't think it's odd / icky, ewww or anything of the sort. I think he's asked his best mate to be his best man.

Ah, catsmother - that's interesting - at the wedding we went to it was a relief to get it out in the open, I think. So the joke was appropriate and even sort of needed. But, again, it's all individual circumstances.

YABU. I really do not see the problem.

YABU. I really do not see the problem.

Yeah Bink, I guess it would depend on the circumstances of the 1st break up.

I think its fine.

Mind you, last wedding I went to the best man had had a fling in the (distant, teenage) past with the bride and the groom. As had two of the bridesmaids

Ahh, now, I agree that - in theory - it is fine but,

My dad did this, his BM was his brother and was great, the first time. The second time he spent half his speech comparing wife 1 to wife 2 - guess who was his favourite
Sadly, he didn't even notice he was doing it, he did his speech of the cuff and had been at the pre-party cocktails a little

What's the problem? I doubt very much it was anything to do with the best man that caused the marriage to fail!

I imagine the guy in question is good friends with the best man- don't see how his ongoing friendship and asking him to be his best man would have any effect on the marriage itself (unless his ex ran off with said best man!)

fair enough - you are right. I am being unreasonable. Will shut up about it.

I once saw a thread on here from someone whose friend was a widow and wanted to get married with the same ring from her dead husband.

Now that was

TBH you sound VERY judgemental and I don't see the problem.

why would he choose someone who is not his best friend to be his best man?