To want to actually murder my dog

[LucyEllensmummy]

The snivelling little runt!!!

So, all this week i have had to cajole my DD out of bed ready for nursery. Was working on DPs accounts until late last night and thought, oooh, might actually be able to sleep in tomorrow morning. DP out looking at a job, but no - what happens, as soon as DP leaves at six am - the bastard dog lets himeslf into DDs room and wakes her up - cue DD wanting to get up and play (that means with me). I'm shattered, i honestly feel like i need matchsticks to open my eyes. All that and its fecking cold too - turned the heating on full blast despite stupid gas bills.

So, up even earlier, DD irritable, no bread, no sugar - arrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhh, i NEED my tea and toast in the morning. DP not left any money so can't even go and buy bread and sugar.

Yes, thats it - i'm going to kill the dog, cook him up in a stew and serve him up to DP when he gets home.

Lol my dog does a well brilliant job of waking/rounding up errant members of my household.
Including me

Fat pig, he jumps on the bed, you get flipped out the other side

Then he snogs you while you're on the floor and helpless.

His breath is slightly better than some blokes i've known though

blue, thats the sort of thing my DP does!! His breath is vial too!! I do miss my rotties

Just to reassure everyone - my JRT is asleep at my feet, completely oblivious to how close he came to meeting his maker

FioFio the reason older dogs do it is the same reason older people do it! It is not their fault! Tell the person not to put papers through your door. Sorted! I hope you reported that person who urinated over his dog, he is a very sick person! After reading this it seems to me that some people are not animal lovers and should not be allowed to have animals.

my DS is so used to the dogs barking that he sleeps through their noise. However, if I make the slightest noise, that's a different matter.

sound like you and yr dog needs time out from one another
doggy camp!!!!!!!

Can I join in general dog-moan? I have 2 beagles. My old boy is the love of my life, but now very deaf and wandered, so spend half my life gesticulating wildly in the garden and trying to get the dottery old bugger back in/ in the car. He seems to be down to his very last marble, and while I am sympathetic really, it is SOOO frustrating!

My bitch, otoh, (or should I say DH's bitch!!- she will do anything for him, but nothing at all for me, grrr!) is a thrawn little witch- last week she ran away into the woods, ate something horrible, then puked/ pood/peed/ate poo and puked it back up all over the hall I was actually retching and crying, I didn't know where to start. In protest at the bleach/ air freshener combo I was forced to employ, she then proceeded to pee all over the place for the next 3 nights- never mind the fact that she would hold it all night, and DH would take her out at 6am when he is leaving, by the time I would get up at 7am, she would have the place swimming in pee- aaarrgh!! I sometimes seriously think if she was a bloke, I would have divorced her long before now! And yes, she has had counselling, and none of the pet behaviouralists I have seen know what to do with her- sigh.

JollyJoo, My boy beagles does this to me when hubby away for work. Its my punishment for taking his daddy away. Beagles are too bloody smart for their own good aren't they!

See this is why i have a hamster

Staffylover, I think most of the people on this thread really ARE dog lovers and are just having a joint laugh about how they drive you nuts some time!

Stuff that, hamsters are balls of fluff with teeth!!

ROTFL about the guy pissing on his dog - I wonder if that could work as a training aid with regards to dominance etc.

Well said korma

Hi there korma, how are you

Neither do I but that was such a shitty thing to do/say

And I'm not even a dog-owner, I've just got a huge moggy who wanders round as though he owns the place!

And whats with people agreeing with her that its ok? wtf???

Really pissed-off with this thread, not funny at all!

I think your language has been most restrained, and I agree, and will repeat everything you've said

god, there are some stupid fuckers on mumsnet lately!!!!!

just one small thing, ITS A DOG!!!! The fact remaining that they are actually pretty tough! I was just about to say id batter my dog if he pissed on our bed, but then i remember that a few weeks ago he did just that - he had been on the bed doing the morning bundle, that would be me, dp, dd and the dog and i said, hmmm, why am i suddenly sitting on a wet patch - my DP was rolling around laughing - the dog made a speedy exit to bellows of -BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBB!! (his name is bob but that looks like boob). But i didn't batter him.

Ive "battered" my dogs in the past, i wouldnt batter bob he is only wee, but my rotty often needed putting in his place, but bear in mind, the dog weighed nearly ten stone and my "battering" was probably like a fecking clip around the ear to him. I think batter was probably a poor choice of words is all.

Why be up in arms about the poor doggy being out in the cold? What about all the rabbits left out in often soggy wet hutches all winter? I do get quite angry about that. Saying that, i had two giant rabbits who lived outside, and by outside i mean, outside - they chose not to go in their hutches, one would sleep in the green house if he got cold, the other one dug himself a burrow under his hutch and slept down there - even in the snow. I think i had them in one night when it was sub zero, much like this past week. But animals have this thing called fur, it keeps them warm .

Oh that's alright then, every time our pets do anything wrong we can batter them and lob them outside cos they've got coats to keep them warm

FFS, some people really should not be allowed to keep animals.