to despise the fact that all paperwork (most of it being irrelevant and piss boring) is referred ot as a bleedin' 'toolkit'?

[moondog]

This nasty habit particulalry prevalent in educational/social services circles.

I want to scream 'A toolkit is a big metal box full of hammers and spanners you numpties, not a bloody great box full or useless bureacratic crap put together by an emascualted civil servant with tinned ravioli for balls and a jelly for a brain!!!!'

Am in v v v bad mood today. Obv

Lovely!

I have a 'Toolkit for Behaviour Management'.

Is it a big socket wrench I can hit naughty children with? No. Is it gathering dust in my cupboard...?

Fucking ridiculous isn't it?
What do yuo do then? (Jobwise)
Public sector I'll wager.

No YANBU.

I work for NHS and get sick of farkin "Pathways" of care.

A pathway is a paved/bricked or gravelled area leading somewhere,not a random load of drivel trying to tickbox care into little pidgeonholes.I thank you.

(Joins Moondog in grump)

Moondog I'm with you.

On my first day as a police researcher I was furnised with a best value toolkit.

I ask you!

Ooh Chancellow, have you read 'Wasting police time' by David Copperfield?

Oh NHS numpty professional here too.Too right about bloody pathways.

I believe there is also a 'roadmap' but i may have dreamt that one up.

YANBU.

I don't appreciated being signposted anywhere either.

I have a colleague with a 'Year 8 Roadmap to ICT Success' display in her teaching room.

It was held up to us as an Example of Good Practice.

(she is lovely & it was v attractive & informative display, btw )

YANBU. Aa a mere health services punter, these meaningless names get on my tits. Pathway I can kind of cope with - as a visualisation of a choice iyswim. But toolkit is an abomination. It's some sodding sheets of paper that may or may not be useful.

And please let's not get started on crap like Investors in People (as opposed to wot? Badgers? Toads?)

Moondog, having just spent all evening wrestling with a bloody "e-form" for my CM quality self-assessment (had it all done very nicely in a word doc, but aforementioned buggering e-form wouldn't let me copy and paste all my work into it) -

you have just made my evening with your concise description of useful helpful important paperwork.

Oh From , i sympathise.I have seen the ppaerwork (and yes, the toolkit too!) that my lovely lovely CM has to wrestle with.I'd rather she just played with my kids.

How reassuring....there was me thinking I was the only one with a toolkit.... The SEN toolkit is apparently my bible as co-ordinator with much paperwork to absorb and generally drown in!

I am going on a Learning Walk apparently. I'm hoping it'll be across frosty fields in sparkling sunlight, but I fear it may not be anything as enjoyable.

I hate processes too.

Anyone noticed how the process people care more for the process than the people involved?

Oh YES Llereggub!
at 'learning walk'. What In God's name is that??

Oh YES Llereggub!
at 'learning walk'. What In God's name is that??

I have no idea moondog - will let you know when I've done it!!

Should I ask the Head whether I need walking boots?

Moondog - I love you for saying the unsayable. Thank you.

May I also had that I hate the expression 'One stop Shop'. Its not a bloody shop - its never that much fun!

I realised that jargon had gone too far when I didn't react strongly in seeing that a particular strategy was being "farmed". hmm, I thought, slightly odd turn of phrase but par for the course.

it was in fact a misprint. and it should have read "formed". but it was the fact that I took "farmed" on the chin. I accepted as part and parcel of the normal bollox, assumed that "farming" strategies was just what you did these days, that left a really rather deep disatisfaction.

I am pissed off to discover that when I next have an ofstead inspection they will quite literally only be interested in how we have prepared our toolkit that refers to less than ten of the 70 kids in our care!! WTF??

I heard they want to get rid of one shop stops near me

so it will be "three stops on" to get to a one stop shop.

As for the PC language that I am supposed to use and not the other frases - I can never remember which way round they are sorry

We have new stuff 'cascaded' to us (ie. one member of dept., whoever needs some fluff on their CV, essentially, goes to dire meeting & reports back on salient points.)

Fair enough. I get 'cascade'. Like the penny falls in arcades, I suppose.

However, the new word for 'cascade' is 'drizzle'. As in 'I drizzled the pathway to the new toolkit onto my colleagues in the development group.'

I find it highly entertaining tbh.

yes I have a 'motivational' toolkit which helps me to 'broker' people to other organisations. (broker, which used to be signpost, which used to be 'phone up some-one for them')

I am working with drug using offenders ffs, not a car insurace company!

Anyone for a game of "Buzzword bingo"?(Tis a fab distraction in meetings)