to think that some posters on other threads are too darn precious about their children

[purepurple]

well really! Some children get bitten/ pushed/ kicked/ hit/ looked at by other children at nursery. Bloody well get over yourselves! Rant over. Normal service is now resumed

Please.......... Can we not have any more mentions of mothers with pfbs.

FWIW I agree with the OP and | have only one child. I can genuinely say that I have NEVER made any fuss about ds being hit, bitten kicked etc by other children. Ds must have been bitten at leasts 3-4 times over the last 4 years. Each time I've had had a lot of sympathy for the other child and parents as well as being upset that ds was hurt. All of these feeling are possible to have at the same time.

DS has also done his share of the violence and actually in RL most parents have been quite gracious about it with only two exceptions (both of whom had more than one child)

Purepurple - you say that this was started as a light-hearted thread, but it appears you started it in direct response to another thread where a woman was upset about her child being bitten. I don't think this is very light-hearted or fair. Should people only post on MN on topics you approve of? So, yes YABU.

Toreen - I don't think it was your thread PurePurple was referring to - I believe it was this one.

Purepurple YABU for starting a thread about a thread.

And I agree I get annoyed at comments about PFBism, it is patronising. Yes, we do sometimes do daft things with our first born because we haven't had any prior experience of caring for your own child. But that doesn't mean it is helpful to assume all mums are going to succumb to "precious" behaviour all the time with their first borns?? Or that all second and later children are indifferently parented!

I don't really mind so much that ds gets pushed, has toys snatched or bitten or anything else children can and will do to each other, lets face it, it's the way of life and learning.
What does bother me is when a parent isn't watching their child or does see this kind of behaviour and doesn't act on it.
It's not fair that my ds will be told off for hitting another boy, but nothing happens to the other boy that hits him. It's not fair on those of us that are trying to teach our children right from wrong.
So where I except that ds will be hit and pushed, it would also be nice if he saw the other child being told off for thier inappropriate behaviour.
This is why I do not go to parent/toddler groups

accept. sorry

BouncingTurtle, I disagree re the pfb thing. Most parents of a first born display distinctly looney behaviour.
Most are quite happy to admit it once the second/third comes along. Many are very at the awfulness of their beaviour
They are not parenting with indifference with subsequent offspring they are parenting with common sense and experience.

The PFB thing is bullshit, I was in the mummy bubble and did some odd stuff when it came to my first child, but the one thing that never changed with the 2nd and 3rd was
a) expecting other people to parent their kids and get pissed off and say so if they didn't at mother & toddler groups etc.
b) if my child did anything unacceptable to correct them.

My worry is if other people are allowing their 1st, 2nd or 3rd child to go around biting, when they get to school they'll have the shit kicked out of them by doing it to a child who doesn't consider it a normal child stage.

Kittywise - I didn't say we don't do daft things! What I said was that it wasn't helpful for people to say "oh she's being pfbish!"
And I also said that second and subsequent children weren't parented indifferently!
Which is what is implies by that other term used by people who bandy the term PFB about too much - NSC!!

the other concurrent biting threads have caused enough aggro without further provocative mixing

posting thread about thread just to get a reaction is tedious and trying too hard

Sorry to reserect this thread but i have only just seen it (mother from the biter thread). So to all the people who say biting is not a "normal" stage. Just what should i do plenty of you have chirped in with your 2 pence worth but no one with some worth while bloody advice!

He gets told no removed then ignored at home or if im out with him (he has never actually bitten anyone other than me and dh whilst in my care) and he hasnt bitten with me for 2 months.

What the feck should i do when he is doing it at nursery WHEN IM NOT THERE! Take his toys away when he gets home? Put him on the naughty step?

Don't worry knakard, it is normal.

If you feel that anyone blames the parent of the biter then they are obviously ignorant of basic child development. Anyone that ill informed should not carry any sway with you

knakard, there is nothing you can do when you are not there. Please be assured that this IS just a phase and he will grow out of it. A cliche, I know but true! You will just have to rely on the nursery staff to deal with it. Good luck!