to expect someone to ask permission before putting photos of my son on facebook?

[sunshineakindat]

my SIL's flatmate put photos up from her bday party on facebook. some of which include my son, nephew and friends daughter. im not friends with her and found out through my friend. i dont really know the woman well but she seems okay. the point is thats my son and i feel that the only person who should be putting photos up of him is me- im not even friends with her so cant see the pics. i sent her a msge and she took them down. now i feel bad like i overreacted. am, i being unreasonable?

No, I'd be annoyed if someone did the same to me.
I wanted to put photos of my niece on my Facebook page but checked with my brother and SIL first - not my child, not my decision.

I feel the same and never include pictures of other peoples children in my photos. I also make sure that only my friends can view my pictures.

I don't think you're unreasonable in feeling like this - but the fact is that these days, Facebook is common social currency, and posting photos after events is fairly normal. It may never even have occurred to her to ask or that other people might have taken offence.

She has taken them down, though, so that's good.

Next time photos are being taken, why not ask the photographer what they intend doing with them, so you can make your feelings known up front?

I know how you feel about it though - I was horrified when DS2 posted pictures of me from our summer holiday! He took them down very quickly, I can tell you.

I imagine she simply didn't think about it, and since you've now objected and she took them down the right outcome has been reached.

Personally, I'm not bothered about my children's pictures being online (unless they were very personal ones) so it would take more for me to remember that other people are sensitive about this kind of thing.

No, I feel the same way, my cousn put photos up of me, I have delibaretly not put my real name on FB so I can invite and talk to whom I chose. She put my photo and my name up I told her to take them down, she never she just took my name off saying they were her photos she chooses to put them up and won't remove it. I suppose removing my name is sort of a compromise

sorry back to you. YANBU, and you didn't over react. The internet is looked at by all kinds, they are your children and if you don't want their faces plastered all over an internet site for all to see that's your decision. She was good to take them down though.

I personally can't see any harm in it. Would you be annoyed if she had a framed photo in her home that happened to feature your child (obviously not as the main focus as she doesn't really know him)? Her friends and family would be able to see that too. It doesn't hurt anyone surely?

Shiny, You don't need to put a fake name up to be able to chose who you invite etc on Facebook. You can choose the ultimate privacy option which means that no one can see that you are on Facebook even if they search for your name. I think, though, that unless you never go out anywhere again, it is time to come to terms with the fact that your photo WILL go up on facebook.

I don't see a problem with this. Although thinking about it a friend had a dig at me putting a pic of her son on my facebook too. Mine are set up so only friends can view.

I just don't see why it matters unless you are really precious about your kids. People can see them you know like out in the street and stuff.

Just texted said friend to ask if she minds me having the pics up. Is it also bad form to post pics of your friends too?? Or just their kids?

NCBirdy, maybe, or she was told they were there by someone who was a friend (probably her SIL) and accessed them through that person's profile?Actually she even says this is how it happened.
I certainly would ask that the person made her pictures only visible to friends and would probably suggest to her that she's a bit daft to have an open profile at all. I do aknowledge that I wouldn't want the whole world to see the pics, but photos are for showing to friends and family whether they are online or in an album on your coffee table. I think you either need to go all angry-celeb and put your hand up to the lense or just chill about photos.

YABU
You need to object at the time the pics are taken, after that the photographer can do what they like with them

YANBU.

People have put pics of my kids on FB without my permission and it doesn't bother me, but I still think it is well within reasonable behaviour to not want your kids' pics up.

I never put pics of other people's children up on FB, and I wouldn't ask them if I could because so many people would say no, or think it odd that I wanted to put a pic of someone else's child up on the internet.

But people who don't have children may be unaware of these issues, and I think the flatmate took them down without fuss, and didn't mean any harm, so she's also reasonable.

link
I don't think the subject owns the copyright but there is of course the question of the right to privacy

NCBirdy, Your case is pretty extreme and unusual surely. And in your case, the angry celeb response would seem totally justifiable.
And why would anyone print of pics of the child of a friend of a friend and circulate them to their friends? And if they did, so what?

NCBirdy - that can't be true, or celebrity magazines would never be able to print pictures!

Copyright is with the photographer (unless they sell/release the copyright to you). Don't confuse it with model release forms which some publications require (and most things which have commercial use) before they can print a photo with identifiable people in it.

She is not unreasonable for not thinking before putting the pictures up, you are not unreasonable for feeling uncomfortable and requesting that she remove them.

Goodness, i hadn't even thought about this! Am off to delete photos in my fb albums with other kids in them...

Do you not think we're all getting a bit paranoid about this sort of thing?????

UK Photographer's Rights - covers what you can legally take pictures of, etc.

YABU
If you are touchy about where your childs photos appear, don't let people you don't know photograph them! Simple!