to expect someone to ask permission before putting photos of my son on facebook?

[sunshineakindat]

my SIL's flatmate put photos up from her bday party on facebook. some of which include my son, nephew and friends daughter. im not friends with her and found out through my friend. i dont really know the woman well but she seems okay. the point is thats my son and i feel that the only person who should be putting photos up of him is me- im not even friends with her so cant see the pics. i sent her a msge and she took them down. now i feel bad like i overreacted. am, i being unreasonable?

I dont know whether YABU or not

I put up pics of a friends child at home but only made them visible to me, my husband, her mum and her cousins and aunties. (you can choose exactly which friends can see your albums).

However I put up my group wedding pics visible to all my friends (and there were some kids in those, doesnt say their names or anything)

I think it depends on the situation really and how intimate the pics are

I have to say I bawked when I saw a friend had put up pics of her kid's nursery sports day (visible to everyone with the name of the school visible AND the specific location of the school written after the "location" thingy on the album) - I thought, if you wanna put up lots of pics of your own child then fine, but I would be mighty annoyed if I was one of the other parents at that nursery.

Does that make me a hypocrite?

Sorry you had to go through that Nekabu - sounds really nasty. I'm sure I would feel extremely strongly if I had been through it too

It could happen to anyone of course, but I just feel there are just so many things to worry about in life and it's hard to draw the line between staying safe and driving yourself mad with worry. It's a risk of course but so is everything. I may go a bit too far the other way though as I have close family members with OCD and this sort of thing gets totally out of control. I see the damage that does...trying to keep things in perspective can be very difficult.

Hope you have been able to move on from your horrible experience.

I think this is all a bit nuts - the pictures aren't open to everyone unless you're a complete novice who can't use Facebook, it's no different to storing your pics on photobucket etc.

I don't know about anyone else but I find it reassuring having my photos saved somewhere online so that I can access them if my computer died.

YANBU. Your child didn't have a say in these matters. What happens if in 20 years time some one has googled their name and found pictures of them as a child? I think it is kind of violating.

I'm with sasamaxx. I'm genuinely sorry about what must have been a very traumatic experience Nekabu. But, in general, i don't think having a picture of your child on facebook is high-risk and suspect we're in danger of becoming a bit over the top when it comes to child protection.

Editing photos to blur/crop out everyone whose permission hasn't been asked seems a bit obsessive to me.

I did recently change my facebook settings to only show photos to a select group of family and close friends but for privacy rather than safety reasons really - and also because I just don't think most of my single friends/work colleagues are interested in cute holiday snaps of my toddler. But I wouldn't be shocked/angry if someone posted a picture of their child that included my DD. Equally asking to have it removed is perfectly reasonable as sunshine's experience suggests. I just don't think a big fuss needs to be made about it. So, sunshine, maybe YAB a teeny bit U but not massively

Thanks, girls, I'm fine! I think he's still around but keeping quiet because he nearly got nicked last time. It certainly did teach me to never have a recognisable photo up that isn't password protected though.

BTW, lots of people have their Facebook albums set with very little privacy. Plus you are given the option to email the link to people who aren't on Facebook but you want to see your photos and quite a few people like that option too.