to expect someone to ask permission before putting photos of my son on facebook?

[sunshineakindat]

my SIL's flatmate put photos up from her bday party on facebook. some of which include my son, nephew and friends daughter. im not friends with her and found out through my friend. i dont really know the woman well but she seems okay. the point is thats my son and i feel that the only person who should be putting photos up of him is me- im not even friends with her so cant see the pics. i sent her a msge and she took them down. now i feel bad like i overreacted. am, i being unreasonable?

NCBirdy, I think Facebook is such a normal part of life these days that it is the first place I would expect any pics taken of me or my child to end up. I think it's pretty standard stuff these days unless you're talking about my grandparent's generation.

Well personally I wouldn't object to a friend having pics of my kids on their facebook page - assuming, of course, that they do have privacy settings in place.

But I think if it bothers you, you are entitled to ask that they are removed.

(I have baby pics of friends' kids on mine....never really thought it would be an issue before...only put them up for them to copy actually so they know they're there...wonder if I should check they don't mind)

I think it's fair enough to ask that they be removed - they are your kids after all.
However, I'm not sure that we're not all getting a bit manic about this sort of thing...

Yes, but in the OP's case, presumably she was aware that pictures were taken and that consent is implied from that (and presumably the owner of the property where the family gathering took place was aware that pictures were being taken). That's a whole different scenario to someone tresspassing and then taking photos, or say a theatre or museum banning photography inside.

(Incidentally if the photographer is standing in a public place and takes photos of something happening on private property, it can also be legal (gets more convoluted as to whether it's deemed to have "invaded privacy" anyway))

simple? cant always be helped isaacsfabmummy especially at a busy party with lots of relatives.

going against the grain here, but i think yabu.
you took them to an event (her birthday party) where i don't think it would be a complete leap of faith to assume that people would be taking photo's. if you were worried about what would happen with the photos after you should have let it be known at the time that you objected, or keep your son away from events where it is a distinct possibility his photo will be taken by others.

It's a good point mrsjammilovesantababy - their friends will, and they will post their own too

NCBirdy - I had never thought of it in that way. But I cannot see how anyone would get hold of the pics on facebook unless they were friends. And my kids are young so I've never encountered any problems with bullying.

I wouldn't post nude pics of my kids because its not appropriate in my mind. Those are just ones for my familys eyes only. Just like I wouldn't let my kids, babys or not, walk around in public naked.

The reason I've posted pics on facebook including other peoples kids is so I don't have to email them all out. They are in one place and all my family and friends can view them there. I think its a nice easy way of sharing pics and therefore things going on in your life. And at least I have control of them when they are on my profile. Unlike in an email when they can get forwarded on or printed or whatever.

how about when you bring him to his friends birthday parties?lets say you don't know the friend/parents that well and so would know very little about their social circle.
now at most childrens parties when the candles are being blown out all the children are gathering around to watch and the parents are taking photo's. do you expect the parents not to post photo's of their own childs birthday party because your son attended and is in some of the photographs?

this is slightly off the topic, but my step-sil took pictures of my ds off my facebook profile (which is very private except for select "friends") and made a calendar with them for her step mum. i was very when I saw the pictures! she never asked if she could use them. i just ended up blocking all of the pictures of ds from her.

I've just had a thought now my friend has said she doesn't want pics of her kids on my profile. If shes paranoid about peodo's....does she really think I would post pics of my own kids if I thought one of my friends was a peodo and gonna exploit them??!?!??!!? Or that anyone would do that friends or not.

i went on hols with a crowd last year and,as none of us ever think about distributing photos to each other,I thought i'd put them up on Facebook.My kids and some of my friends' kids are up there.However,I do have my privacy settings so that only-i hope!-friends can actually see the photos.Also,I don't TAG the photos either.My friends didn't object and neither did I object to my friends putting up pictures of my kids.However,it is up to the individual parent.Sadly,in this day and age,if someone wants a picture they will find a way of getting hold of it.School has also issued us with a letter to ask if our child/children can be photographed and printed in any local press.We either opt in/opt out.Again,I suppose there's a risk there too but my kids get so excited when they're getting their picture in the paper....just like we did!!!

NCBirdy, surely we can distignuish between horriblepictures of abuse that could come back to haunt a child and pics of a child standing in the background at a birthday party while their friend blows out their candles? One is harmful and the other is absolutely not.

It seems a pretty pbscure concern to me to be honest, although I'm sure if you have been directly effected in this way then the "risk" seems very real to you.
The thing is, that ALL children of my DS's generation will have pics on the net, so the playing field will be level on that count.

Sorry NCBird, I didn't mean that to sound like I was being dismissive of the trauma you have obviously suffered.

yabu, why not just do a jacko and wrap scarves round their faces.