Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I wasnt being precious about the shop assistant telling my ds off

125 replies

mrsleroyjethrogibbs · 05/01/2009 16:02

Today MIL and me and the two children were in a pretty much deserted fabric shop looking at zips. DS was standing inches from MIL touching but not pulling at the display of cotton.He was literally pointing at the colours saying their names when one of the shop assitants who was standing nearby came over to him pushed/tapped his hand away from the display and told him quite roughly 'No thank you'.
I was quite shocked as ds scurried and tucked himself under MIL who looked at me as if to say 'OMG what is she on??'.

As we walked through the shop MIL said ' well that was a bit out of order. He wasnt pulling anything and since when is she allowed to touch someone elses children and tell them off'.
Now granted he was touching the cotton reels BUT he wasnt pulling he was simply just going through the colours as actully we were standing next to him and watching him.

I was really annoyed tbh and spoke to the manager and said that whilst I appreciate he was touching things (he is only 3) I think it would be more appropriate if the lady had asked me to tell him not to touch them rather than tapping his hand away and telling him off herself.
She was sympathetic and said yes she shouldnt have touched him at all and of course children touch things.

I came away thinking ...god am I being precious about him? I know he is not a model child. He cant keep his hands to himself at the best of times.. but still....
___

OP posts:
seeker · 05/01/2009 18:45

I am a bit surprised that people are reacting so strongly to anyone touching their child - and I find it hard to believe that a teacher should or would be suspended for pushing a child's hand away from something they shouldn't be touching.

It probably would have been better if she had said something to you or MIL - but it doesn't seem to be a major crime that she didn't.

LucyEllensmummy · 05/01/2009 18:45

Seriously though, i am more than happy for certain groups of people to repremand my child, whether i am there or not - these would be, my family, my friends, teachers, nursery workers, anyone working in the childcare profession. It most certainly does NOT inclued poe face shop assistants, unless of course if my child is doing something to put herself in danger, but then i would soon be stopping her myself then wouldnt i. No, the woman was way out of order. She was stepping on very thin ice actually as the OP would be well within her rights to insist that this woman would be disciplined. Now of course i think that would be OTT, but anyone working around children have to follow very strict guidelines with regards to contact with children. In some circumstances this goes OTT but it protects the employee too.

TsarChasm · 05/01/2009 18:47

Seeker I agree!

I don't think I'd get too upset over this tbh.

BalloonSlayer · 05/01/2009 18:52

"she pretty much did slap his hand away"

Well did she or didn't she?

In the OP it says she "pushed/tapped his hand away " Now it's a slap. Or pretty much. Or whatever.

But actually it IS important. Because according to Mumsnet the assistant is now a cunt and a child hater. And an appropriate response would have been to slap her, go mental, struggle to keep their hands off her, wrestle her to the floor... have I missed anything?

God almighty.

RebeccaX · 05/01/2009 19:23

Hear, hear BalloonSlayer.

piscesmoon · 05/01/2009 19:30

It all seems something about nothing-OP complained to the manager so dealt with it.
It was a fairly minor incident-I should just forget it. Tell DC that you know he was just looking at the colours but some shops don't like people touching unless buying.

LittleBella · 05/01/2009 19:31

The woman did not touch the child or discipline him, she slapped his hand away. It's bloody disrespectful of the mother and appalling behaviour to a child. Whoever it is who asked that very good question, how would you feel if it were your hand slapped away? Why the hell should the woman permit herself a liberty with a child, which she wouldn't with an adult? If she were anxious about the cotton reels, the respectful thing would have been either to ask the OP to take the child away, or to ask the child directly not to touch it. But slapping a hand away? That is not polite behaviour, that is disrespectful and unpleasant.

chegirl · 05/01/2009 19:31

I think that I would be annoyed but not traumatised.

I think I would have told the woman not to touch my child but apologised for him touching the cotton (even if I didnt really mean it).

I THINK I would do these things but I am a gobby eastender I may well of gone off like a mentalist at her.

Who knows?

But I dont think YABU for being annoyed and I think she was over the top.

LittleBella · 05/01/2009 19:32

If someone slapped my hand away, I'd be astonished.

piscesmoon · 05/01/2009 19:34

The OP didn't say that she slapped his hand away.

LittleBella · 05/01/2009 19:35

"pushed/tapped"

isn't tapped the term people use when describing slapping their kids?

Doodle2U · 05/01/2009 19:36

The manager sounds like she'll have a word. The other bird was being precious, not you!

piscesmoon · 05/01/2009 19:40

I would call tapped very different from slapped! Pushed is more difficult but I would be surprised if she caused him to over balance.

BalloonSlayer · 05/01/2009 19:50

"isn't tapped the term people use when describing slapping their kids? "

  • yes when they are trying to minimalise what has been done to the child.

This is so NOT what is happening on this thread.

kitkatqueen · 05/01/2009 19:53

Hiya Mrs L,

I have a bet going here - were you by any chance in sew simple at taverham garden centre?? Because I have had a similar experience....

KKQ xx

seeker · 05/01/2009 19:54

But WHY are people so adamant that no one is allowed to touch their child? I find this completely bizarre. I also find it bizarre that the OP didn't stop her child touching the cotton reels before the shop assistant had the chance to do it.

Original poster
mrsleroyjethrogibbs · 05/01/2009 19:56

kkq erm yes you are spot on

OP posts:
whonickedmynickname · 05/01/2009 20:07

My job is to be my children's parent - MY job. Not some uptight shop assistant's job or my step mum's job or another teacher's job. MINE.

YANBU - and if you're being precious then so am I!

kitkatqueen · 05/01/2009 20:12

Thought so, they absolultley hate kids in there. I am not remotely surprised. They have been off about me coming in with my kids b4. Last time i was in there ( with a 4 yr old a 3yr old and a 1 yr old) a woman came in with a little girl of about 2yrs ish she had fallen over outside the shop and cut her lip open. The mothers friend ran over to the cutting desk and asked if the might have a tissue for the little girl so they could see how bad it was. The woman behind the desk said "No I don't. You should take her to the toilets" she then pointedly turned her back on the woman. The toilets are visible from the door, but its a long way and they only asked for a tissue!! I took my tribe over and helped the woman and her little girl - dug out some baby wipes etc. But it was unnecessary the way the woman behaved - I'm betting it was the skinny woman with the short greyish blond hair!!

Nice to meet someone local LOL!!

Also glad its not just my kids who have been snapped at in there. I do still go in but only if I can't get what I want from "Habago" on reepham rd. Or the dxons centre they are both child friendlier. And if i want wool I go to the fabric shop on roundtree way-its always reduced.

KKQ xx

Original poster
mrsleroyjethrogibbs · 05/01/2009 20:14

kkq what was your experience please?

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsleroyjethrogibbs · 05/01/2009 20:17

sorry crossed posts kkq
thats appalling. how mean could they be? so glad to know its not just my childen they dont like. wierd really as its run by women you would have thought they might be a smudge mor sympathetic. actually this was a young lady who was on the big side as it were.

OP posts:
kitkatqueen · 05/01/2009 20:18

If they did that to one of my kids I would call the police or do it back to the assistant immediatly with the type of NO!!!that dog trainer Barbara Woodhouse would of been proud of!!LOL. So I don't think you are being precious. I would be absolutley fuming!!

KKQ x

purepurple · 05/01/2009 20:20

since when did I wake up in a world where touching is not allowed?

kitkatqueen · 05/01/2009 20:26

Ah yes I know the one she informed me that she would call the police if my 3yr old walked towards the doors with a bag of beads in her hand - towards - not out!!

They mostly glare at me with my kids but then I generally glare back and say things like " are you alright you're looking slightly unwell" " I'm sorry, do you have a problem with my child looking at things in your shop"? At that point they don't have the guts to say anything. Maybe I just look scarey - but its absolutley for sure that they hate kids being in there. Oh actually one exception to the rule is the slim brunette about 19ish. She loves my kids - always asking about what project we are getting bits for today. But otherwise no they hate them.

n5rje · 05/01/2009 20:27

were these the threads lol sew simple

Swipe left for the next trending thread