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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to kill myself because i am pregnant

77 replies

Koshka · 02/01/2009 16:55

Hello,

I am 13 weeks pg.

I was happy when i found out but now I am so scared i keep on thinking if i carry on with this pregnancy i would rather not be here.

I have no idea what to do! is it too late to end this pregnancy?

Sorry this is a bad topic to discuss here but have noone in RL that i can talk to.

OP posts:
duchesse · 19/01/2009 11:42

Koshka, I couldn't read this thread and not say something. I felt something pretty similar to you when I found out at 11 weeks that I was expecting number 2. Panic. You;ve only just got your head around having one child, when a second one pops up and changes all the dynamics again. But mostly we all just muddle through (I know I did).

You are under huge amounts of stress and sound very tired. Your partner does not (forgive me for saying this) sound either kind or supportive, and is making you carry everything alone.

It could be that is not mature enough to deal with this, it could be that he does not have the right skills to deal with it, it could be a host of things. The fact is that he does not sound up to the challenge just now. I don't think you can really take him into the equation with regard to a possible termination; men rarely understand the long term implications of a termination and just see it as a quick fix- he needs to think it through.

MN is always wonderful in situations like these, but you sound as though you need concrete support and few good hugs. Do you have any RL friends you can talk to about this? Maybe even someone you don't realise is a friend yet, possibly a slightly older, sympathetic lady who could be a good listening ear? Have you spoken to your health visitor?

FWIW, we are all "shit mums" sometimes, particularly in times of stress. If you feel like one, then it's extremely unlikely you are any more shit than the rest of us. Children are remarkably resilient, and your little will be just fine if he has a mum who cares about him (as you obviously do).

Please please please keep trying to find a sympathetic ear. If your GP is so crap, find a different one. He sounds like an arse. What you need mostly is the chance to really talk through all these issues with someone calm and sensible and measured, so that you can come to the decision you need. Keep posting on here as well- you get a range of experiences to draw on.

coveredinsnot · 19/01/2009 12:10

I hope you take the advice of the people that have replied so far. You do sound very depressed and it can be hard to make a balanced decision when you feel so low and alone. Reach out - there are people out there who will want to help you, and not force you into making any decision you don't want to.

If you recognize that you're not always a perfect mum, then that means that you are completely normal, but more importantly it means you are aware enough to notice - this is an excellent thing!

It can be hard to reach out and talk to others when you are feeling frightened, but you have taken the first step by posting here and I really hope you can make contact with a counsellor as soon as possible. You don't have to go via your GP there are lots of organizations that should be able to help as well. Try searching on Google for local women's counselling charities, or similar, if you can't find anything please say and we can help you search.

Take care, stay in touch on here.

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