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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to tell my neighbours that we can hear them having very loud sex?

94 replies

StreetcarNamedDesire · 01/01/2009 23:08

This is making me really miserable.

We've lived in our house for a year and a half. It's a semi, and our next door neighbours are a lovely, lovely couple, about 10 years older than us, with 2 DDs. They're really friendly and have lived in their house for years and years. There's a real sense of community and our neighbours are involved with everything, local church, school etc. They really are lovely.

The trouble is, we can hear them having sex. I could plot their sex life on a chart (it's excellent, by the sound of it, and at least twice a week). We hear her orgasming loudly, and frequently hear them both giggling about it afterwards.

My DP thinks it's really funny, but I am fed up with it. I feel embarrassed when I see them, and I dread Friday and Saturday nights. The noise has woken me up before, and we can hear them when we're downstairs and they're upstairs (like tonight).We have a new baby and a toddler, so we're not exactly quiet ourselves. We did move rooms to avoid hearing them, but now DD2 needs her own room we've had to move back to our original room (the spare room is tiny).

I really don't mind hearing neighbours in general. We hear their kids and their dog and I couldn't care less. But I feel it's an invasion of (their?) privacy to hear them being intimate. It's got to the point where I am desperate to move because it bothers me so much.

I don't listen to music when I'm in bed so it's not like I can drown it out. I also feel like I should be able to relax and read quietly in my own bed without listening to them shagging.

Over the holidays they also had sex whilst their in-laws were staying. So I can only assume they have no clue how loud they are (or don't care?)

I probably sound like a total prude and no doubt I should just laugh it off, but I can't, and I'm just totally fed up with it. I don't know whether I could ever face them again if I wrote them a note, and wouldn't that make them feel awful too?

Comments welcome...

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 04/01/2009 16:46

He is Unclean. Last I heard he had developed a nasty case of pubic lice which he had tried to cure with household bleach as an alternative to fessing up to his GP. Really. Don't go there.

Anyway, wouldn't all that humping make people - ahem - sore??

BalthazarCandleQueen · 04/01/2009 16:48

Ooh, nasty!!
Once had a friend who waltzed into the kitchen, wrapped his arms around girlfrind and announced "Honey! We've got crabs!"

BoffinMum · 04/01/2009 16:51

OMG!!

BalthazarCandleQueen · 04/01/2009 17:02

She was not best pleased. But everyone else in the room (about 6 of us) pissed ourselves laughing!!

TheSmallClanger · 04/01/2009 17:08

I had this problem at an old flat. My upstairs neighbour had a very noisy girlfriend. The walls were not thin either! I had a good, noisy hoover and would indulge in late-night spring cleaning if it got too loud.

mummy2olivia · 04/01/2009 17:09

My DH keeps telling me off for this- he says that if I can hear next door shutting their cutlery drawer (I can and it drives me mad!) then they can definitely hear me having an orgasm.

But I have also been on the other side of things when I lived in a maisonette and upstairs shagged loudly every night right above my head. She was noisy. I got to the end of my tether one night and screamed shut the fuck up!! (was pregnant and very tired at the time). They started shagging in the living room

BoffinMum · 04/01/2009 17:28

Balthazar, I have always wondered if you have to comb them out like with headlice??

janmoomoo · 04/01/2009 18:17

I have had this in our old house, and was woken up by them a few times. But I have also lived next door to the party-all-weekenders and the Queen of loud R&B. I know which I prefer.

They know you can hear, they know the walls are thin and have apologised for noise. You cannot really sound proof a domestic house.

I would say live with it and accept that it could be worse. Much worse. If it is really upsetting you then be brave, go and say something politely. Banging drawers and coughing just isnt going to do it.

I hope you can sort something out, I know how upsetting it can be. When I lived next door to the party animals I didnt want to come home from work on a Friday night as I knew what I was in for all weekend. Luckily they moved.

BalthazarCandleQueen · 04/01/2009 19:45

No idea Boffin - I've never had them!

BoffinMum · 04/01/2009 21:13

I looked on the BBC website and apparently combing is not necessary.

That's that sorted, anyway. You learn something every day.

BalthazarCandleQueen · 04/01/2009 21:28

Just a bit of Lyclear eh?

BoffinMum · 04/01/2009 21:35

I gather so.
Did you know you can get them in chest hair and eyebrows as well??????

BalthazarCandleQueen · 04/01/2009 21:45

OMG! That is grim!
Can you imagine talking to someone with crabs in their eyebrows?!

BoffinMum · 04/01/2009 22:30

You wouldn't know whether to look at their eyebrows or their eyes as they were speaking. God only knows what it would look like if they had a monobrow!

duvet · 05/01/2009 09:36

We put soundproofing insulation up on our adjoining bedroom walls and altho our roofs adjoin so some noise does still carry it has improved it to how it used to be. we did it cos we could hear them arguing for hours on end sometimes. worth thinking about doing IMO.

iloverosycheeks · 05/01/2009 12:02

It is interesting to hear about soundproofing as am keen to get this for our flat altho it would have to go on our ceiling - we don't have the noisy sex problem as our bedroom not below theirs however in the bathroom can hear farting, peeing, coughing nose blowing talking - as if it same room, same in the kitchen and footfall is really really bad, but wooden floors to blame for that I was looking at this website www.noisestopsystems.co.uk/tips_on_sound_proofing.htm if any help to the OP

fridascruffs · 05/01/2009 20:39

You're right about soundproofing, you have to think of the sound as if it's water, even if you sound proof the whole wall it will come through any little holes and bits you've missed, rafters, floorboards, the roof, etc. so you'd have to do the whole room as a cube. i think they use rubber to really soundproof the room. Not cheap- but if you did it well, it would solve the problem. (Do you have double glazed windows? Wood or plastic? Plastic frames will transmit some sound also, wood much less so.)

fridascruffs · 05/01/2009 20:43

soundproofing eall board, 1.2m square- £30.97. It's not that bad acutally. Sorry, am an anorak.

fridascruffs · 05/01/2009 20:44

that was wall board

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