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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it bad form to bitch about Christmas presents?

157 replies

WinkyWinkola · 01/01/2009 12:50

Only my brother and his wife got all the DCs in the family one of these each for Christmas. Pink versions for the girls.

I was annoyed as they showed such little thought for the individuals, their ages etc. They've got pots of money too so it's not like they couldn't afford a nice book or something.

Imagine DS's face when he opened a freaking blanket up. MIL has one very similar for her dog.

I don't care how much a gift costs but don't get crap like this, please. It just shows you don't actually give a shit.

AIBU?

OP posts:
prettybutterfly · 01/01/2009 13:05

They don't have to spend loads just because they are wealthy do they? It's not necessary for anyone to spend loads at Christmas.

Probably you yourself put a LOT of effort in and it's the contrast between the two styles of present giving that grates on you?

I know people who give general, friendly gifts at Christmas and make more personal statements for birthdays, and people who think of every gift-giving event as an opportunity to make a statement about the recipient. Neither style is 'wrong'.

I think that your expectations are the problem I'm afraid, not the gifts themselves, though I wouldn't criticise you for it.

Next year just buy the same kind of present back (useful, funny or general gifts) and adjust your expectations of what you will receive.

ForeverOptimistic · 01/01/2009 13:05

I don't think it is thoughtless at at!

You really are coming across as being very selfish. Not a nice trait!

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 01/01/2009 13:06

we have lots of blankets and duvet cover sets, doesn't mean that my DS's wouldn't like a blanket that's specifically for them (even if all their cousins etc had one identical)

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 01/01/2009 13:06

Well, I guess I should be grateful considering these are family members who don't even bother with birthday cards for my DCs.

OP posts:
compo · 01/01/2009 13:07

god I hope they're not reading this

prettybutterfly · 01/01/2009 13:10

Can we give the OP a break here? It's only a clash of gift-giving styles I'm sure, and readily fixable.

SoupDragon · 01/01/2009 13:12

Bulk buying has nothing to do with money and more to do with time.

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 01/01/2009 13:13

We're all busy, SoupDragon. All of us.

OP posts:
NAB3lovelychildren · 01/01/2009 13:13

YABU

Won't hurt your kids to realise that presents aren't always toys.

You sound jealous that they have money.

SalLikesCoffee · 01/01/2009 13:14

If you were my sister and this was your reaction, I'd have to force myself to continue for the sake of the children.

And I think you are wrong anyway about the no thought bit - I think it's an extremely thoughtful present: pretty, warm and cosy for playing around on winter evenings, easy to care for and, most importantly, useful for the mother too (well, you'd think so). And giving similar gifts to all the children makes sense to me - avoids jealousy and comparison.

I guess I am fortunate enough to be, within reason, able to buy my ds most things, and this is something that i'd quite like.

For the sake of your children, at least consider the reactions to your thread. It's really not a pretty attitude to have and to teach your children.

ForeverOptimistic · 01/01/2009 13:15

But it is just your opinion that the blankets were crap gifts. As you see from here you are in the minority.

mosschops30 · 01/01/2009 13:16

I can sympathise. I dont think its an issue of money but thought.
My CM bought ds a present that clearly had no thought in it, it was something he liked about 2 years ago and actively hates now. If this had been from a distant relative I would have understood, but from a woman who sees him every day it just smacked of 'cant be arsed' or 'buy 2 get 1 free deal job-lot'.

I think if you cant be bothered to think about the person you are buying for then why bother?

prettybutterfly · 01/01/2009 13:16

Winky, they're probably after the clubcard points!

I'd have been more miffed about the gender stereotyping than the lack of imagination tbh.

But get over it. It doesn't matter.

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 01/01/2009 13:16

Right. That must be it. Jealous they have money FGS.

My issue is this: I put in effort into all the Christmas gifts I buy. Otherwise, I feel there is no point in doing it. I enquire as to their children's interests, what they have and haven't got already, favourite colours, authors etc.

It is a lame effort not to try and make an effort oneself, I feel.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 01/01/2009 13:17

Perhaps they were far to busy being loaded to spend hours buying individual gifts. Or perhaps they thought the children would like the blankets...? No, couldn't possibly be that could it.

I received lots of things which aren't me. I'm still grateful for the gift but will most likely recycle the gifts via a charity shop.

NAB3lovelychildren · 01/01/2009 13:17

My MIL bought me a lovely blanket to keep me warm when DH is late and it is so nice to snuggle up under. The kids love it too.

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 01/01/2009 13:18

SoupDragon, I don't think there's any need to be a bitch, do you? Are you hungover?

OP posts:
mosschops30 · 01/01/2009 13:18

FWIW i think the blankets are nice and would have liked that for ds

SoupDragon · 01/01/2009 13:18

You asked if it was bad form and you asked if you were being unreasonable. Don't get cross because people disagree with your point of view.

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 01/01/2009 13:19
Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 01/01/2009 13:19

Who said I was cross? I don't think you're being particulary pleasant is all.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 01/01/2009 13:19

Exactly how am I being a bitch?

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 01/01/2009 13:19

well perhaps a lot of us don't think you are being very pleasant about the gifts either

Flihgtattendant · 01/01/2009 13:20

I don't know. It's hard to judge really not knowing more.

I think it is the thought that counts and it depends what they were thinking -

either 'Oh lets just get them all one of these, yes it's boring but we can't be bothered to think about what they would all actually like, and besides we have better things to do and they are cheap' (obv not that cheap for some of us but perhaps for them)

or 'Oh, well we have loads of children to buy for and these are universally acceptable and very sweet and I think all of them will be pleased with them, and what lovely blankets'

See? You can take it both ways, it all depends on their motives. Which none of us knows - except that OP can probably guess better than most of us.

Fwiw I think the blankets are nice and are quite dear in terms of my usual budget. but would be boring to ds.

hercules1 · 01/01/2009 13:20

My kids have both been bought blankets in the past and although I wouldnt think of it as a present I wasnt offended in anyway. Both children liked them too.