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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be cyber-stalking a mum I know from playgroup?

70 replies

faeriemoo · 31/12/2008 21:59

Our daughters go to playgroup together. Quite innocently we arrived at conversation about mumble GF mumble and shared a look of understanding. Upon further conversation we discovered that we both use parenting forums, her Mumsnet and me elsewhere (probably won't name them, wouldn't want to get off on the wrong foot )

Anyway, blah blah blah, we share a lot of the same views, and both enjoy taking the piss out of fuckwits who we are infinitely better than

So I've been trying to find her on here and have tracked her down but to my dismay she has no public profile so I couldn't read her past posts. I almost electrocuted myself crying into my keyboard sob sob

Is it wrong to try to look for people you know in Real Life who are on forums? What say you?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 31/12/2008 22:00

i say get a hobby.

expatinscotland · 31/12/2008 22:00

i say get a hobby.

misscathcart · 31/12/2008 22:01

I'd say a lot of people might do this but not so sure many will admit to it!

TeenyTinyTorya · 31/12/2008 22:02

If it's so important to you to read her past posts, then you can search for messages, and enter her nickname.

Have you nothing better to do with your time though?

misscathcart · 31/12/2008 22:02

say it again expat

SalLikesCoffee · 31/12/2008 22:05

Easy to search, but a bit freaky. Don't do it (and if you do, most definitively don't tell her you did!!!)

Original poster
faeriemoo · 31/12/2008 22:09

Wow, so I can TTT! Thanks for that.

SLC - I did already tell her that I was trying to search her posts, she'll know I was only messing about.

I was really just hoping she would read this so I could encourage her back to posting more again so we have people to laugh at at playgroup

OP posts:
littleducks · 31/12/2008 22:11

ttt- why did you give that away!!!!

ZacharyQuack · 31/12/2008 22:11

How would you feel if she was hunting for your posts over on netmums bounty your forum?

How would you feel if you found something she'd posted that she wouldn't normally discuss with you?

Original poster
faeriemoo · 31/12/2008 22:14

I was only kidding! Calm down.

She can hunt my posts if she feels that way inclined. We've both admitted we use the same username across the interweb, hence how I found her in the first place.

As for expat - "Get a hobby"??? I don't think any of us sat posting on a parenting forum at 10pm on New Year's Eve are really justified in making that quip, no?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 31/12/2008 22:15

'I don't think any of us sat posting on a parenting forum at 10pm on New Year's Eve are really justified in making that quip, no? '

There's a difference between shooting the shit on a forum because your little kids put the brakes on partying on NYE and searching out someone's posts, though.

BadHair · 31/12/2008 22:16

I've done it and had it done to me. Doesn't bother me - I wouldn't normally post anything on here that I wouldn't say in real life. Although if I really had to disclose something personal I would temporarily name change and make damned sure that there was no way of being found out so that there was no chance of anyone finding me.

It's all good fun and I think most people have done it when the occasion arose, whether they admit it or not.

Original poster
faeriemoo · 31/12/2008 22:18

Yes quite.

In fact, I was going to type something else but I am off for a couple of hours to munch down on some takeaway food, and wouldn't want to miss my own kerfuffle.

Toodles.

OP posts:
Original poster
faeriemoo · 31/12/2008 22:18

(my last post was in response to expat BTW)

OP posts:
ScottishMummy · 31/12/2008 22:19

searching someone old posts to discover facts or elicit something is grubby and sneaky and since you say you know her in RL and share ribaldry why not just ask her

BBBee · 31/12/2008 22:21

actually someone tracked me down on here and it really upset me - she dropped things I had said on here into playground conversations and talked to me about my swearing.

I hate it and had to name change - leaving behind a much loved and established posting name d immpledddtthigghgs

ScottishMummy · 31/12/2008 22:22

oh aye and hogmany in,because understandably those with no weans are out.i am in with shortie,lump of coal,and alcohol

SalLikesCoffee · 31/12/2008 22:23

I've got an ill 8-month old with bronchiatis and is cleaning up puke between posts. The fact that I would have been here anyway is irrelevant .

If someone said they're searching my posts, I would pretend I don't care but secretly think they're a nutcase. And no, I don't say anything personal on here, but still, it's freaky.

ScottishMummy · 31/12/2008 22:24

cycling Christ BBBee that was feckin cheeky of her to discuss yer lord mayorin.bag of shite

elmoandella · 31/12/2008 22:26

it's a bit freaky to me too. cyber stalking is horrible.

the search facility should be used when you looking to contact someone and CAT isn't working imo

and such likes. not just to check up on what they have been posting

BBBee · 31/12/2008 22:27

yes she would stop going on about my lord mayorin.bag of shite - i was most ashamed.

callmeovercautious · 31/12/2008 22:37

Hi and welcome. However please don't search for people you know in RL on purpose. It is not MN ettiquette. It is OK if you don't shout about it
The deal is that if you "know" someone in RL you pretend not to, unless you are real friends and can admit it to each other.

Stalking and pouncing is not nice.

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 31/12/2008 22:39

"The deal is that if you "know" someone in RL you pretend not to, unless you are real friends and can admit it to each other."

hmm not sure about thata - I would rather like to know who it is that's stalking me and telling my family stuff - I know it's not one of my friends as they don't even know my parents!

NewPork · 31/12/2008 22:40

"As for expat - "Get a hobby"??? I don't think any of us sat posting on a parenting forum at 10pm on New Year's Eve are really justified in making that quip, no?"

one point to FM

choccynutter · 31/12/2008 22:41

i am confused to why you can't just tell your "friend" or ask her ect

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