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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think enough is enough?

135 replies

MrsMagooo · 28/12/2008 20:07

DS is almost 5 months & has a strong, solid, albeit less common, bible name (old testement).

We knew that DHs Nan & Grandad wouldn't be keen on it but figured they would get used to it.

When DS was born & we announced his name DHs Nan said 'Well....it will take some getting used to' & DHs Grandad said 'I thought you would have called him something normal like Raymond'

Anywho - we figured after a few weeks they would get used to it.

Well we are almost 5 months down the line & they are still making a big issue of it.

DHs Nan refuses to say DSs name & always calls him 'the Baby' or 'that little fella' DHs Grandad always says to us 'Now, how do I pronounce it again?' it's really not a hard name to say/spell honest.

I've gritted my teeth until now but I am getting fed up with it.

We spent a long time choosing our sons name & I adore it, it suits him beautifully & will suit him all his life (I feel anyway)

I just think they are being damn rude now.

They can't keep calling him 'the baby'

I know that I should just be grateful that DS has great-grandparents & that in the grand scheme of things being reffered to as the 'little fella' is not so bad but it's really getting to me now.

They've had plenty of time to get used to it - it's almost like they think by keep going on about it we'll change his name!

Even MIL has said how daft it's getting now.

DH won't say anything as he doesn't see it as a big deal.

I don't like to shorten names & prefer DSs full name but have offered up the shortened version (even though I didn't want too) but they won't use that either.

So AIBU in thinking they should just get over it & start calling him by his name?

OP posts:
minouminou · 28/12/2008 23:02

They're being really passive-aggressive about it because they don't like it.
DP's closest and oldest chum referred to DS as "The Stig" for a year, as he REALLY didn't like his name.
Ignored it, now he uses his name and has in fact agreed to be his guardian.
When they do the "how do you pronounce it?" thing, just ask "are you having difficulty with it? do you want me to write it down for you?"
but in a genuinely concerned way, not in a sarcy way

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 28/12/2008 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

thumbElf · 28/12/2008 23:35

being old is no excuse, bet they can pronounce Methuselah ok! They are just being cantankerous.

My dad, bless him, won't use the same shortened version of our DS's name, he keeps using a different one because he prefers it. It makes no odds to him that my DS doesn't recognise it as his name, and that no one else calls him that, HE has decided that is the name my DS should be called and so that is what he will call him.

MrsGokWan · 28/12/2008 23:35

What a lovely name. They are definatly being passive aggressive. When I was trying to work out what you called him I was thinking it was something like Malachi.

thumbElf · 28/12/2008 23:42

I was thinking Ezekiel...

Lilybeto · 28/12/2008 23:43

In my primary school we had 3 Elijahs and quite a few Malachis (albeit with different spellings). I never heard of any problems with pronouncing these names. I think your relatives are just trying to cause problems.

P.s. There was also a boy called 'ruffcat' at school. Tell your relatives this and show them a truly weird name.

Jenice · 28/12/2008 23:53

I love that name. When I was pregnant I loved alternative names and many of them were biblical but DP was very traditional so we opted for a compromise.

I think they are being unreasonable but sometimes people don't realise how annoying they are being.

As for names, when my younger brother was born he was named Nathan which is not too strange a name but my grampa couldn't get it into his head and one day when someone asked the name of the new baby he said it sounded like Satan! He was in the early stages of dementia but whats their excuse?

MatNanPlusTINSEL · 28/12/2008 23:59

Introduce them to DS as " DS (name) say hello to moopsy and poopsy

They will get the message

oldraver · 29/12/2008 01:14

Its a lovely name, my DS has a modern variant...Ellis so I'm biased. Just correct them each time

Isnt Mrs Magoo the mad pram lady

TLESinChristmasStockings · 29/12/2008 01:28

Oh My pet hate is people shortening ds2's name and my name....

DS2 has a perfectly easy name Zachary...he gets called Zach I always pull people up and tell them he is Zachary if i wanted him called Zach thats what I would have called him.

Me on the other hand my name is not english and rarely gets pronounced properly!

bellabelly · 29/12/2008 01:47

i was GOING to say that although YANBU, it really isn't worth getting upset about. But then i read your post saying that you see them at least once a week and I think that probably changes things - get DH to have a word with them about how irritating it all is. (only put in a nicer way)...

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 29/12/2008 02:22

YANBU but give them time and they will come round. My daughter is called Bryonie my nan didn't like it all and for the first few weeks of her life insisted on calling her Melissa after that we progressed to Bridie, Briney, Brian and then eventually when she was about a year old and my nan realised that no one else thought her name was silly or difficult to say and started using her actual name.

dsrplus8 · 29/12/2008 02:33

they are plain rude, id tell them .if they still refuse to call your ds by his name then start calling them by names that are not theirs as in mary and boab,mary for fil and boab for mil!

BrownSugaSprinkledOnPumpkinPie · 29/12/2008 02:43

I have an Elijah too, and had from my MIL, ooh that's unusual and then, yes I like it now, I'm used to it. Not sure what it had to do with her what we named OUR child.

I would have thought that GGPs would have found the name normal for their generation.

It's a lovely name, and if they don't like it too bad for them.

Original poster
MrsMagooo · 29/12/2008 08:43

Thank you ladies,

I certainly don't think his name is hard to prounounce or wacky - it's a name I love dearly.

Everyone else loves his name & they are they only ones to say they dislike it.

I'm just so fed up of their behaviour now & can see myself snapping at them soon so before I did I wanted to see if I was being BU or not

OP posts:
cauliflowersarebuffy · 29/12/2008 08:54

Aren't great parents great.... my nan (80) kept telling family and friends that my dd was called "Lasagna' for the first week of her life

Her name is Isabella !!

cauliflowersarebuffy · 29/12/2008 08:55

i meant great grandparents. Love elijah too btw

coveredinsnot · 29/12/2008 08:58

We gave our son an old testament name, but even less heard of than yours. Even my friends who are in their early 30s make comments about it! I just laugh at them and tell them to get over it! People are mostly used to it now, it is a lovely name. The most hilarious thing people say, especially old people, is 'oh, that;s an unusual name, isn't it?!' Then when I explain it's from the bible, they're like, 'oh it's BEAUTIFUL!'. Even a relative of mine who is a nun didn't realise it was biblical until about a month ago. So it is obscure! If I were you I would just let them get used to it in their own time, it's such a great name, eventually they'll get used to it or you will just have to handle their lack of understanding about the whole thing with a large dose of humour! Perhaps mispronounce his name when talking to them as well, or mispronounce their names and see how they react!!

CharleeInPantoPaperChains · 29/12/2008 09:04

I like the name and you do to so i would just ignore them as they ABU not you.

DS2's name is Harry and when he was born my late Grandad said 'is that 'Arry with an aitch or an A'

I said i didn't know people called thier babies Arry rather than Harry.

He called him Arry right up un till he died.

BalloonSlayer · 29/12/2008 09:17

Mrs Magooo, pedantry alert, Elijah is an OT prophet so couldn't possibly be a Christian.

Lovely name though .

Are these people very old? It did used to be common, in the days of high infant mortality, to just call a baby "the baby" for quite some time. Literary example, family in Great Expectations (is it the Pockets?) have a large family and "the baby" is not only unnamed but also called "it" by the narrative.

So I wondered if this was not all down to his name, but if some was down to them not seeing their behaviour as being out of order.

Original poster
MrsMagooo · 29/12/2008 10:33

He did lead a very lovely life though, was a good man & stood true to his faith - point I was getting at was that they (Grandparents) didn't not like the name because it's bible name (I'm not making sese lol)

Anywho - they are in their 70s & 80s. When DD was born they always used her name & never referred to her as 'the baby'. Guess they liked DDs name

Cauli Lasagne isn't such a bad name I love Isabella so pretty!

OP posts:
smugaboo · 29/12/2008 10:43

^My sister just called her son 'Tiger'. I'm going to call him 'the cub'.

I'm not joking by the way.^

Original poster
MrsMagooo · 29/12/2008 10:46

Could be good if he turns out to be good at golf

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsMagooo · 29/12/2008 10:47

Yes I am the "mad" pram woman btw - can't remember who asked lol

OP posts:
LittleJingleBellas · 29/12/2008 10:51

Oh they are stupid.
Just ignore them.

I hate people who refuse to be able to pronounce other people's names properly. Morons.