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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think PIL should have called us on xmas day

85 replies

thisismynewname · 27/12/2008 20:48

PIL wanted to see us over the xmas period but had plans for xmas day and boxing day apparently.

We couldn't fit them in at any other time so said we'd see them mid/end January. DH called and asked them could they post the presents for the DC so that they could have them to open from santa on the day.

PIL said they'd rather wait til they saw them to see them open them in person, which I was not at all happy with. We ended up rowing about it and PIL didn't even call us on xmas day. I can't believe they wouldn't phone to wish us merry xmas.

OP posts:
LittlePeanut · 27/12/2008 21:58

Oh come on, surely you can find a way of explaining this away to your children without them being very upset! Make somthing up! YABU. Big time.

Heated · 27/12/2008 22:00

Children do believe FC delivers the presents but at the same time understand they are sent from family and friends. Kids do understand. The presents in Jan will be really exciting in the anti-climax after Christmas.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 27/12/2008 22:05

Ultimately it's YOU who is upsetting your DC. It's YOU who have set up this silly rule that all presents have to be "from Santa". I don't know anyone else who does that, as most people believe that it's good for children to learn how to be grateful when accepting presents from relatives at Xmas, and not just assume that they get a job-lot of stuff thrown at them by the big fat bloke in the red suit (Santa, I mean, not Uncle Fred )

I mean, it's all about giving and receiving and being grateful and thoughtful, not just sitting back and waiting for your big pile of presents from Santa.

When you were a kid yourself, didn't you write any thankyou letters to relatives when they gave you pressies at Xmas?

And, assuming your PIL give YOU and your DH a present at Xmas, how do you explain to your kids that their grandparents never gave THEM any?!

Sorry, but it just seems so ridiculous to me.....

Lubyloo · 27/12/2008 22:06

YABU. Feel sorry for the parents-in-law and find it hard to believe that there is no other time between now and the end of Jan that you can see them.

Your children will enjoy opening the presents in January. Very rude to dictate when they should give the presents.

SleighGirl · 27/12/2008 22:16

So last year when you saw them on Boxing Day your dc had already had their gifts from their GP on Christmas Day because FC had delivered them?

beanieb · 27/12/2008 22:17

YABU. Why was it so important that they have the presents on christmas? Is it to do with Santa?

beanieb · 27/12/2008 22:19

Ah - sorry Xposts. Are you the same person who posted about santa bringing the presents before

LadyMuck · 27/12/2008 22:21

Not sure how this would have worked if you ad seen your PILs on Boxing Day - surely your dc would still have been confused at FC delivering on 2 days?

I once made the mistake of putting some of the dcs wishlist on to an Amazon wishlist so that my family could buy something that they knew the dcs wanted. I then got caught out when we weren't seeing my DB and DSIL until after Christmas Day.

So I can sort of seen where you might be coming from, but you can't let this get in the way of your relationship with your PILs.

ceciliaaherne · 27/12/2008 22:36

YABU.

Everything I want to say has been said before.

I do not think there are any grey areas here. i think YWBU with the initial request and YABU unreasonable now.

Sorry- I am sure this is not what you wnat to hear.

They must be very hurt and sad.

Could you call and apologise (not you, your dh) and see if there is any way you could 'fit them in' before the end of January?

piscesmoon · 27/12/2008 22:37

YABU. Your PIL probably don't want their presents to come from Santa.

StewieGriffinsMom · 27/12/2008 23:25

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StewieGriffinsMom · 27/12/2008 23:25

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SugarBird · 28/12/2008 13:40

I agree - the idea that Father Christmas brings all the gifts at Christmas must cause huge problems. Very odd notion IMHO and I don't know anyone who does this! How do children thank the gift-givers?

That doesn't mean that the magic of FC can't happen. Far from it. Our DC have always had a stocking from FC and everything else from whoever has bought them, including us - and the idea of FC has still always been special and exciting.

They buy each other gifts, too, and surely one of the lovely things about pressies at Christmas is giving as well as receiving.

YABU: PIL probably feeling hurt and ticked off. As others have said, it would be lovely to give them a call and smooth things over?

MarlaSinger · 28/12/2008 14:12

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

naturalbornmum · 28/12/2008 14:18

I am always a bit at my PIL as if we don't see them on xmas day the DC have to wait until we next see them to get their presants so they can see their faces (I suspect) which I find a bit selfish. However I do think that it is up to them and means that the DC get 2 xmas's (LOL) and it is not really fair to expect them to fork out posting costs.

I also think that is a parents job to provide 'santa' presants and the gifts from other people should be from them.

So I guess YABU and YANBU too.

NAB3hundredChristmaslights · 28/12/2008 14:22

YABU and a tad rude.

cat64 · 28/12/2008 14:29

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unavailable · 28/12/2008 14:31

If it was important to you to have the gps presents for the children before Xmas, why didnt you or your husband go and collect them rather than expect them to drop them off or post them?

As so many others are saying, YABVU, but I suspect you know this.

Wintersun · 28/12/2008 14:31

YABVU

You argued with your PILS because they didn't want to post your dc's presents?? I find that shocking.

I agree with everyone else who said its up to your pils when they want to give the presents and I'm sure its because they want to see your dcs and see the joy on their faces rather than to be spiteful.

You do came across as being a bit petty.

MerryMadMarg · 29/12/2008 10:19

YABVU - the presents from Santa are arranged by parents. Presents from other family members are from them.

You're upset that THEY didn't ring, that THEY didn't drive to drop off presents (that they picked, bought and wrapped) so that YOU could have the enjoyment of seeing your children open them.

What, were your fingers broken that YOU couldn't ring on Christmas day? YOU couldn't drive to their house to collect presents if it meant that much to you?

Stop being so precious. Good on the GP for standing up for themselves and holding onto their presents until their 'alloted' time which you have soooooo generously allowed them

MadameCastafiore · 29/12/2008 10:20

We can;t fit you in but we want your presents sounds pretty mean doesn't it?

hercules1 · 29/12/2008 10:25

barmy

FiveGoMadInDorset · 29/12/2008 10:25

Why didn't you organise to see them before Christmas?

OrmIrian · 29/12/2008 10:26

Tell you what, I'd 'pencil' your PILs in for next Christmas right now if I were you. Don't want to find you can't find a window for the next year too .

Of course they may find they are busy.

DustyTv · 29/12/2008 10:44

I find it really odd that you want all the presents your Dc get to come from santa. When I was little my brother and I got one present from santa and then santa delivered the rest of our pressies but we knew they were from gp's, uncles, aunts etc. We also wrote thank you cards/letters to the people who bought us a gift to show our appreciation.

My DD and any other DC that we are lucky enough to have will know the same.

I think YABVU, I don't understand why you couldn't have phoned them on xmas day!!