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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think PIL should have called us on xmas day

85 replies

thisismynewname · 27/12/2008 20:48

PIL wanted to see us over the xmas period but had plans for xmas day and boxing day apparently.

We couldn't fit them in at any other time so said we'd see them mid/end January. DH called and asked them could they post the presents for the DC so that they could have them to open from santa on the day.

PIL said they'd rather wait til they saw them to see them open them in person, which I was not at all happy with. We ended up rowing about it and PIL didn't even call us on xmas day. I can't believe they wouldn't phone to wish us merry xmas.

OP posts:
randomxmas · 27/12/2008 21:07

I don't see it as rude asking the pil to do something for their grandkids.

Original poster
thisismynewname · 27/12/2008 21:08

I mean it will be upsetting for the DC because they won't understand why santa is delivering gifts in January!

Although tbh most of the tat they give us ends up in the loft anyway.

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 27/12/2008 21:09

Why can't it be from their grandparents in January then?

SleighGirl · 27/12/2008 21:09

errrrrr

my 12 year old has asked where the presents are from my friends who usually buy for them ie "Aunty x" and "Aunty y" as they are still in a bos in the spare room, precisely because I want my dc to know that these people have bought presents for them because they love them and they are not lost in the gifts delivered by FC (my little ones are 6,5 & 3)

Which reminds me that we must open them tomorrow!

Leo9 · 27/12/2008 21:10

How old are your children?

Agree it is very simple - santa gifts are what YOU do, other people give presents from themselves.

Original poster
thisismynewname · 27/12/2008 21:11

Regardless of whether they are from santa or not though, why should they have to wait til January for them?

OP posts:
Leo9 · 27/12/2008 21:11

random, it is rude TELLING someone what to do with a present they have chosen to give; it's THEIR money, their choice, up to them to give it, not up to someone else to tell them what to do with it. You just can't do that; not without giving offence, clearly. Which is what has happened here.

AnarchyInAManger · 27/12/2008 21:12

Upsetting?

Personally I think children should just be grateful for the gifts they get, whoever from and whenever they arrive. I don't see how it will be 'upsetting' for them to see their GPs and get given some more presents in January

Leo9 · 27/12/2008 21:12

Because YOU won't/can't SEE them before january?

AnarchyInAManger · 27/12/2008 21:14

They should have to wait til January as that is when their GPs ae bringing them.

TBH it sounds like you are the one who has a problem with this. Your DC will most likely be pleased to see their GPs and get their gifts.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 27/12/2008 21:14

Your DH asked them to drop the pressies round to his work?! I think they used the 45 mins drive as an excuse to be honest - if I was told to bring some presents for my grandkids round to my son's work, I would be very upset. I would want to see my grandchildren round Xmas time, to spend time with them and to see them opening their presents that I had bought them! That is what Xmas is all about - not acting as a delivery service for presents! You have completely missed the whole point of it all.

I totally understand why they would want to stay at the BIL's on Boxing DAy if it was so far away - why should they drive back to see you just because that's what they did last year!?

I understand you both have to work, but I still can't belive there is no time between now and the end of January when you can see them. What about weekends? (or do you both work all week and all weekend too?)

Oh, and there was a post the other day about how someone expected their inlaws to pretend their presents to grandchild (8 months old FGS!) was from Santa, and bring them round to the house. Can't recall where the thread was now, but just about every reply pointed out how controlling and unreasonable the OP was being.

SleighGirl · 27/12/2008 21:14

Can you not understand your dc will enjoy them more in January than they would have on Thursday.

TheFallenMadonna · 27/12/2008 21:15

Because you gave your PIL one window of opportunity to see them over the holidays? Seriously - I do understand about the problems with fitting everyone in. We also both work and have family spread over about 400 miles, but your PIL asked to see you over the holidays and because they didnt fit into the tiny window they offered you, because they had plans to see another of their children, you told them you wouldn't be available until a month later. They are fed up, you are fed up, and you are both behaving somewhat foolishly. Your children will I'm sure have had lots of lovely presents and can wait until they see their grandparents to get the next set.

pooka · 27/12/2008 21:15

How lovely for them to have a second round of present opening rather than all in one go.

NOt upsetting for them at all, unless you are presenting it to them as an upsetting situation?

TheFallenMadonna · 27/12/2008 21:16

"the tiny window you offered them" that should be. Oops.

believer07 · 27/12/2008 21:16

Are you the woman who sent her hubby back to the shops with the rejected gifts, if not are you her twin?

Original poster
thisismynewname · 27/12/2008 21:18

Believer, no I'm not and haven't heard of that thread.

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 27/12/2008 21:22

Have read over this thread again and am finding myself getting on behalf of your PIL, thisismynewname!

You are coming across so badly. Is this a wind up? Because I can't belive someone just can't see how badly they are behaving....

SleighGirl · 27/12/2008 21:24

I was wondering trip trap myself tbh

ilove · 27/12/2008 21:40

umm and me...

CurlyhairedAssassin · 27/12/2008 21:44

"DH asked them to drop them round to his work but they refused as they felt the drive was too long (45 mins) and then they refused to post them too, very upsetting for the DC."

Er, very upsetting for the DC? I thought that you were trying to make out that the presents were from Santa, this just doesn't make sense. I think you are sooooooo a troll!

AuntieMaggie · 27/12/2008 21:47

YABVU

You could have called them on christmas day and expecting them to drive 45mins to drop christmas presents off at work is unreasonable.

You can't see them til the end of january because of work and family commitments? They are family and knowing the effort they have to make to come and see your DC at this time of year you shouldn't be so demanding.

Original poster
thisismynewname · 27/12/2008 21:47

Very upsetting for the DC that their beliefs that Santa delivers all the presents on xmas day will be destroyed.

I have already explained that.

OP posts:
ShyBaby · 27/12/2008 21:53

Do you like to see your children open the presents you bought? I do, I love to see their reaction.

I expect your pil feel the same?

pooka · 27/12/2008 21:55

Well about time you started explaining that actually people buy each other presents as well as father christmas bringing some presents.

I honestly think that the idea that no adult is able to get recognition of their gift-giving is appalling idea.

And how do you explain the presents you buy other people? I've always wondered whether that would give the game away?

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