Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

baby in the pub

80 replies

Amazoniancracker · 24/12/2008 20:01

..to think it's ok that my friend and I took our year old babies to the pub tonight at 6pm? Hardly anyone there, we had a pint of cider, karaoke started much later at 9. Babies were fine.

Then her dp storms in, snatches baby, says it's disgusting to have a baby in the pub at 7.15 (the time he came in) ignores me, my friend looks scared and no doubt they will have another massive bloody row tonight (he has said he is moving out on saturday but will come back and 'stay over some nights' for the baby.

I think that is unfair and she needs to set boundaries. She is miserable with him and he with her. But to shout at us and storm into the pub in front of the people in there, (not many but he knows them all) I think is shite.

Now don't know whether to ring her and make sure she is not pulp.

feel bAD

We were just having a christmas eve drink...the babies weren't distressed, they were wrapped up and had drinks and rice cakes. Is that so fucking bad?

OP posts:
chloemegjess · 24/12/2008 20:05

Don't reallly know about the situation, but just wanted to say I occasionally take my DD to a family pub and I think it is fine.

nickytinseltimes · 24/12/2008 20:06

Sounds fine to me too.

LucyTownsend · 24/12/2008 20:06

I take our DD (11 months) to the pub all the time, it depends upon the type of pub that you go to, but from what you have described YANBU.

Call your friend, check she and baby are ok and help her through it.

nametaken · 24/12/2008 20:07

no it's not bad at all. If my partner snatched my kid I'd phone the fecking police.

Your friends dp is just spoiling for a fight. And I bet he'd had a (child-free) drink. Why the fuck is it OK for a man to be in a pub without his kids but it's not OK for a women to be in a pub with hers.

Ring her, she'll probably appreciate it.

~And the only person he embarresed tonight was himself.

loveingigglypiggly · 24/12/2008 20:07

Pubs are different now there is no smoking, as long as it was a 'family' pub.

Blondilocks · 24/12/2008 20:07

I don't really see a problem with you being in the pub with your babies. A couple of years ago when the smoking ban wasn't in place I could perhaps see the reasons against it but it's not so bad now.

ChrismumMiaow · 24/12/2008 20:08

Sounds absolutely fine to me, and a complete overreaction. That would be past my 11mo DS's bedtime, but if I was going out for a treat and he was happy, so what!

YANBU but he most definitely was. Even if he thought it was wrong, storming in like that was inexcusable.

wilkosroastingonanopenfire · 24/12/2008 20:08

if it was after your babies usual bed time then yabu, if not and they had been fed and were warm and it was a quick one then yanbu.

am alarmed that you mentioned the karaoke "starting at 9" tho. you werent seriosly going to keep them in the pub till them were you cos if so yabu

candlemama · 24/12/2008 20:14

NBU at all. There is no reason not to do what you did. We quite often go to the pub for one early on with our 2 and will continue to do this with baby no.3. {fsmile] Obviously alot more going on with your friend.

candlemama · 24/12/2008 20:16

So what if it was past theie bedtime? It is xmas eve.

pokeydotsantahat · 24/12/2008 20:23

ooohh he would love me my 3 (5,3,and 16 months although was 7 months when we brought it!)
LIVE in a pub HA HA HA!

Moondancer · 24/12/2008 20:30

Brought what?????

pokeydotsantahat · 24/12/2008 20:32

a pub lol!

BouncingTinsel · 24/12/2008 20:37

i wouldn't do it but that's because my ds's bedtime is normally 7-7.30pm. But that is a massive over-reaction from your friend's soon to be ex-dp.
Don't feel bad, he is clearly a twat of the highest order, hope your friend is ok.

christmaseve · 24/12/2008 20:40

It's fine. Hope you had a nice little drink. As long as it's not habit forming. I did this now and again. Me and a mate took our DD's to the pub one crazy afternoon when they were 6 weeks old. Its Christmas today after all.

christmaseve · 24/12/2008 20:42

At least they are smoke free nowadays! Even better. . Merry Christmas. xx

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/12/2008 20:52

i dont see the problem

YANBU

he WBU!!

we were all in the pub, kiddwnnks as well this lunchtime till about 5pm

if your friends dp had a problem with it,then he should have sorted out childcare arrangemennts

is his problem th fact she was out fater bedtime or as she was in a pub with baby?

just beacuse you are a mummy , doesnt mean your life stops

the children were looked after and not left alone at home, so answer to your question

no its not fucking bad

what is fucking bad is that your friend has a twat like that for a dp

i would text or email her rather than ring

TheSeriousSanta · 24/12/2008 20:55

Gosh, that's terrible.

FWIW, DH, BIL, me and our 7 month old son arrived at a pub at 11am this morning and didn't leave until 2pm...

Yes, text rather than call, that might make things worse.

Original poster
Amazoniancracker · 24/12/2008 21:02

Thankyou so much. Not habit forming at all. And if smoking was allowed in pubs no way. (I am a smoker and I am glad about the ban).

We were defo NOT going to stay until karaoke started...we got there at 6 and he stormed in at 7.15. There must have been maybe 15 people in the pub in all. Quite a big pub and no that good but there are no 'good' pubs here. Not a bad pub either. I tried appealing to her dp as he shoved their daughter into the car, saying 'she has done nothing wrong, we have done nothing wrong' but I have not met this kind of man before (my ex-h-one-day totally different kettle of fish/plate of lasagne) and asked my friend to ring me to let me know she was ok.

She has done but says that is it. She is so shocked by his behaviour - 'he never ever behaves like that' but I said 'but he just has??' I am not too good in these semi aggressive situations...she will call me tomorrow so I know they got rhrough tonight ok.

But it is just a crying shame he could not have come in and sat down with us two and our dcs, had a drink, clinked glasses, etc etc..happy christmas....he has lots of emotional problems but he has to sort them out himself I think now?

feeling shit

OP posts:
LittleJingleBellas · 24/12/2008 21:17

He sounds like a control freak

What a prick

LittleJingleBellas · 24/12/2008 21:18

In the old days I'd have said he had a point because of the smoke

Not now

Also, even then, that's not the way to deal with it. Public humiliation is not the sign of a reasonable bloke.

VirginBoffinMum · 24/12/2008 21:21

I always take my kids in the pub - what's the issue? It's nice for families to be out and about, and for pubs to be civilised family friendly places, isn't it? A pack of chili poppadoms usually ensures their contented silence for 20 minutes while I have a spritzer.

Original poster
Amazoniancracker · 24/12/2008 23:58

The babies had rice cakes and juice. My ds sat on the floor and playd Boo with a blanket. Nobody took a blind bit of notice.

Then in he comes, chewing gum, makes a scene, storms out. We had to put babies in their buggies, follow him out, walk two yards down the road - he had car ready, engine going, I made short appeal to him, he barged around me putting his dd in car seat saying 'she shouldn't be in a pub at this time of night (as I say, it was 7.15) end OF!'.

I said 'it's christmas eve, we weren't doing anything wrong, (my friend) hasn't done anything wrong...' sounding a bit pathetic for the warrior I think I can be ,
my words fell on deaf ears, my friend looked appalled etc and they drive off. The terrible thing is I had been 'batting' for him with my friend, saying maybe he is depressed and should get some prof help for his shitty abusive upbringing. But I feel quite angry towards him now - I barely know him but I don't think this behaviour bodes well for their little girl, who is sort of my ds's best little mate or for my friend who is a lovely girl.

Going to shut up about it now and maybe show her this thread so she can see he was unreasonable to be so humiliating.
Happy christmas eve everyone, stocking for baby done (chocolate, satsuma, plastic train, small teddy, taggy, handbells, face paint crayons, sugar mouse)
going to bed.

OP posts:
babbi · 25/12/2008 00:44

He is an idiot . I can just imagine showing this thread to my Italian /Spanish family .
If you took a child to a bar in either of those countries tonight the dear child would be the main attraction . Totally spoiled as tonight is a time for families and children to enjoy .
Happy Xmas

izyboy · 25/12/2008 16:14

Good grief the guy is a controlling tool. If we didn't take our kids out to the pub occasionally we would rarely get to have a drink together (me and DH). We have a great local pub, just come back from there and they had loads of kids there. It has not been unheared of for us to have a meal at out local until gone 9:00pm (shock, horror) the landlady just tucks us into a snug or quiet corner. Is is the British and their Victorian sensibilities that can't cope with kids in public spaces.
Much more to this than the pub I am afraid.

Happy Christmas Amazonian, hope you and DS have a really good one. Sorry your harmless little drink was spoiled.