To not want DD's donation of toys to oxfam to be taken by volunteer with words.....

[dilemma456]

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Bloody hell!

It's rare I say this but i would write in and complain.

I get irritated on regular basis by casual way my donations are treated.I expect a smile and a friendly 'Thank you, that's lovely.How kind of you.' and not a grunt and a barked 'Put them there'

We were never allowed to just take toys home when I worked in charity shops (including Oxfam). Maybe you should talk to the shop manager. Certainly she shouldn't have acted like that.

But you do get some quite bizarre people helping in charity shops, as with much voluntary work, some of them aren't necessarily great on the social skills front.

There is frequently no thank you when you donate to charity shops. It really gets my goat too! Sometimes however I think the volunteers are not socially adept enough to say thanks - after all charity shops are not paying a lot of their staff in general.

She will have to buy them - she wouldn't be allowed to just take them. Perhaps she didn't realise how it would be mis-interpreted.

i wouldnt like that

thank you , i once volunteered in a charity shop and heard that they get first choice of goods i don't know how far true it is.

perhaps she was joking. they shoudl buy them surely?

or perhaps she was trying to make your dd happy?

or perhaps she was trying to make your dd happy?

when i worked in a charity shop, staff had to pay the going rate for items, from what you say it is not clear that she WAS NOT ging to pay for them, but i am sure abuse does happen. I would write to the manager/area manager and ask what their policy is on this. They can do without "Volunteers" nicking the best stuff!

I'm sorry but I wouldn't have left the toys there then. I would have told her that I was donating them to raise money for the charity and not to give to her grandson and then taken them elsewhere. Outrageous, I am certain she isn't allowed to do that.

Seeing as it is the season of goodwill, perhaps she was planning on putting some cash in the till for them [hopeful emoticon]?

going not ging obv

yanbu - oxfam is a charity and the toys should be sold so the proceeds go to the cause rather than be taken home to this womans grandson?!?! unless she was going to buy them (doesn't sound like it though)

and how rude not to have even said thank you!

I only give high quality or new stuff to charity shops that i know they can sell easily for a good price. Attitudes like this make me want to put it in the bin instead of spending time and money driving it to the shop.

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and if there are no rules/checks in place, what's to stop unscrupulous volunters nicking the best stuff to ebay it?! I am sure they MUST have some kind of way of dealing with this. And TBH, if she was just going to TAKE the stuff, she was pretty dim saying what she did. Why not just say thanks and put it behind the till for later?

You have to think though what sort of people do volunteer in charity shops. Some might have mental health problems, it might be the only sort of work which will tolerate them, some might have learning difficulties, some might just have very poor social skills. My friend who's a charity shop manager (and very committed to the job, he's done it for many years) views helping volunteers to develop skills is a big part of the whole charity shop concept.

Fennel you are so right, but it still feels bad when you make the effort to donate good stuff and there is not even a thank you.

dittany - no "thank you" makes me want to bin the stuff instead tbh

I used to volunteer in cancer research charity shop and you should have SEEN how those old ladies fell upon the bags! They went through them all, picking off what they wanted. You were supposed to pay, but these were the same people pricing everything up! so I just bet they went for a fair price and didn't knock themselves off a bit.

They had a shelf where they'd put the stuff that they were 'buying'. Everything else got sorted and tagged and taken downstairs to the shop.

I do have very poor social skills, Fennel , but I was working in a bar, volunteering at relate and doing a job trial 3 buses away at the same time!

Don't know why I felt the need to clarify that! think it was the "You have to think though what sort of people do volunteer in charity shops. " thing

presumably the volunteers are there becuase they see the charity, whichever it is, as valued/important/worthwhile, whatever. This is THEIR way of supporting it. They jolly well SHOULD thank you for bringing in your items, which is YOUR way of supporting the same charity! I find this idea of no thanks being given extremely off, and have never experienced anything but smiles and thank yous whenever i have given.
No wonder so many people just freecycle!

YANBU - that's very discouraging and there's no way she should be doing that. Please tell your dd that I am very impressed with what a selfless and kind little girl she is. It is a shame that there aren't more adults like her!

YANBU.
I'd have been furious and taken the stuff back.
No matter how little I've had, I've always taught dd that other people have less and encouraged her to give up her old stuff to charity, and then we buy things there for us.

I'd have been pissed off that some old cow volunteer was sayinf otherwise right in front of her.

I'd complain and never give to that shop again.