Page 2 | To not want DD's donation of toys to oxfam to be taken by volunteer with words.....

loobeylou · 19/12/2008 18:19

the other issue, apart from the charity not getting the money of course, is that genuine "needy" customers are not getting access to things they could really use, especiallly toys, close to christmas. My Dc now LOVE seeing their old things in the windows of charity shops, and then seeing them gone and knowing they have helped in TWO ways

OP, I would tell your DD Santa is pleased she is so kind with her old toys, and will bring her something extra special.

giddykipper · 19/12/2008 18:21

When I was about 6 I gathered up loads of toys and took them to the Oxfam shop for the Blue Peter 'Bring and Buy Sale' only to be told by the volunteer that couldn't take them because they weren't in perfect condition. I remember it really clearly to this day, my mum was furious at her for being so ungrateful to a 6 year old.

loobeylou · 19/12/2008 18:21

dittany, of course people value the time volunteers give. It is just so saddening to realise that, apparently, so many are in it for all the wrong reasons!

MrsSeanBean · 19/12/2008 18:22

This is very sad. I feel most for your dd who had every right to expect a thank you after such selflessness and concern for the ultimate recipients of her generosity. The woman in the shop set a disgraceful example on this occasion and was (at best) very tactless. A letter to the shop manager or head office wouldn't go amiss. YANBU.

LittleJingleBellas · 19/12/2008 18:26

LOL

She will be paying for the toys

Lots of volunteers are loons

Sorry but they are (ex charity worker)

Pool of normal people with normal social skills available to volunteer is getting smaller and smaller. As everyone gets harried out to work in the cash economy, the only people left to volunteer are loons. OK that's a bit harsh, not all loons but large number. Every charity shop has its share. But be grateful to them, without them the country would collapse. So they can be exempted from the normal social skills.

MrsSeanBean · 19/12/2008 18:28

Fair point about loons... but shouldn't the shop manager at least be attempting some type of 'training'...?

Podrick · 19/12/2008 18:42

Dittany yes it is far more effort than putting stuff in my wheely bin! There are no charity shops where I normally shop, they are on the edges of town so I need to make a special journey in the car and usually pay for parking as well. Not to mention the time for a sepcial trip...half an hour I just don't have...and if I did have it I could be working. It probably costs me £3 in petrol and parking to donate and £10 in lost earnings. Then it typically costs me a few horrid or ungrateful comments from the staff at the charity shop.

I really wish it was easier.

LittleJingleBellas · 19/12/2008 18:55

They ought to have toy banks and book banks along with the bottle and textile banks

SparklyBaubleFeast · 19/12/2008 19:04

ahem. my mother is a volunteer at a charity shop
she ahs first pick of stuff and pays for it,
i wish she had worked there when dc's were much younger.
anyway she is not a loon

poinsettydog · 19/12/2008 19:06

I understand you feeling annoyed. I would too because I like to feeel I am Doing Good when I drop off some good stuff.

But it's volunteers who work in the charity shops (apart from the managers) and you get an unusual bunch of folk offering their help, so I'd let it go.

poinsettydog · 19/12/2008 19:06

har - sorry sparkle. Not all uusual obv

Original poster

dilemma456 · 19/12/2008 21:29

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

wheresthehamster · 19/12/2008 21:42

Obviously I wasn't there but it's possible as someone suggested earlier that she meant it kindly. She was trying to make your dd feel that her toys were so special that she wanted them herself.

Jackaroo · 19/12/2008 22:13

Doesn't sound to me as if "mental health" or intellectual disabilites were a problem here (and actually I think you'll find that any volunteers in that category are least likely to do anything so grasping, IMVHO of volunteering)... no, sounds like you got one of the righteous "I'm doing good" older ladies who are an absolute nightmare.

As volunteers they make the most demands, cause the most friction/arguments, take against other volunteers (particularly those with mental health and other issues)and treat the donations as they're own personal supply of goods.

Wow, I've obviously been scarred for life!

OP, what a great little girl, and a perfect solution, calling Father Christmas. But I'd still call and make the point myself (but then I'm a volunteering loon).

Fennel · 19/12/2008 22:36

Just to clarify, I'm not saying that everyone who volunteers in charity shops has problems or difficulties. I did it myself and have a few close friends who work in the sector who have fantastic social skills.

But some of the shops actively recruit people who wouldn't easily be employed elsewhere, and tolerate odd behaviour.

MadamePlatypus · 19/12/2008 22:43

I thought that Oxfam didn't accept toys any more? I am sure this is what I was told the last time I was there - I assumed it was something to do with toy safety.

nappyaddict · 19/12/2008 22:46

YABU - she didn't say she wasn't going to pay for them.

Twinklemegan · 19/12/2008 22:47

My mum used to volunteer in a charity shop. She left when she got fed up with the manager throwing out perfectly good quality donations. Better they get some use than be thrown out I reckon, but I do hope the woman paid for them. And yes, there should be a much better attitude.

Twinklemegan · 19/12/2008 22:48

That's interesting MadamePlatypus. I generally find the selection of toys in charity shops is pretty woeful, which is quite surprising with the amount of surplus toys in nearly every household.

nappyaddict · 19/12/2008 22:51

My charity shop said loads of stuff gets thrown out cos they don't have the room to store it

Now i donate to the local children's centre. they keep some stuff and donate stuff to mums in need. Also have donated to the local refugee council.

callmeovercautious · 19/12/2008 22:53

I once took back the donation I wanted to make to one shop as the assistant was so rude to me. I had carefully selected some nice outfits I didn't wear anymore (post DD!). I washed and ironed them etc. Took them in and was told "chuck them in that pile there and someone will look through the tatt later!"

I was so miffed!

I took them to the Cancer research shop and a lovely lady took them and hung them out the back and actually said thankyou

I don't care if she skipped it later - it was the polite attitude I appreciated.

pinkspottywellies · 19/12/2008 23:16

I took loads of stuff to one local shop the other week and got a lovely response - very grateful. A couple of days later I took a huge heavy bag of books to a different shop and got a 'put it down there'. They did say thank you when they realised that dd, who's 2, was giving the teddy she put on the counter as well. I wanted to take it back and take it elsewhere but like other people have said it was a special trip in the car.

I just can't believe 'thank you' isn't virtually a reflex when someone brings a donation

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/12/2008 23:29

There should have been a thankyou! How rude of that woman not to be grateful for a donation.

Just to put a different spin on it....my mum works one day a week in a charity shop. She started working there as she had been ill with cancer and wanted to put something "back in" to the wonderful medical people who had helped and supported her.

She looks after my sister's children 3 days a week, no charge, and chooses to spend one of her free days working in the charity shop. If the other staff there see something they think my mum might like to take as toys for her grandkids to have in her house, they put it aside. They either mark stuff down, or give it her for free if it's not in great condition.

My mum takes them back to the shop to be sold on as normal when they're finished with by the grandkids (in just as good a condition as when my mum got them, and probably better as my mum cleans them,and puts fresh batteries in)

From my own point of view, I never ebay anything, it all goes to my mum's charity shop: all my kids' old toy, books, clothes, cots, moses baskets etc - and all in perfect condition. Same goes for the rest of my mum's family and friends' stuff. For that reason, her colleagues at the shop now refuse to take any money from her on the odd occasion that she takes a toy home, as the stuff she takes in from all of us has raised plenty of money itself over the years.

My mum is definitely not a loon, she could easily get a paid job in a shop, but doens' need the money particularly and so feels she'd rather give her time to a worthy cause.

Maybe she is one of those "righteous "I'm doing good" older ladies who are an absolute nightmare" that you are referring to, Jackaroo?

Jackaroo · 20/12/2008 01:53

Absolutely not Curly - I wasn't sure how much detail to bother putting in, but where i was (for a very long time) there was a very specific group of ladies, who i think I further described in several ways that are patently not appropriate to your mother. She sounds neither judgemental or grasping -

Please read the whole description.

Jackaroo · 20/12/2008 01:55

What I meant to add if it wasn't labouring the point, was that they often judged people who came into the shop (single mothers, no better than they ought to be, refugees, shouldn't be allowed, etc etc.... )

Just to clarify.