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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder how my DC managed to wonder out of class across a playground and hide in another empty classroom....

88 replies

whonickedmynickname · 18/12/2008 23:07

There seem to be plenty of teachers on here so here's one for you......
DC1 is 5. Today apparently managed to walk out of the classroom in the middle of a lesson, down a corridor, out of an external door, across a playground and into another (empty) classroom and hide under a table for quite some time....
AIBU to ponder why the teacher had a go at me about my child's behaviour when all I can wonder is how the hell my child was able to do all of that with noone noticing?????!!!!

OP posts:

ThePregnantMerryYuleWitch · 18/12/2008 23:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Niecie · 18/12/2008 23:09

They had a go at you?! Why? Me thinks they are trying to cover their backs a bit.

Something similar happened to a friend of mine only her 5 yo DS managed to take a friend and walk off down the street. The school were suitably mortified. So should your DS's school be.

Original poster

whonickedmynickname · 18/12/2008 23:10

shes not in there alone either- she has 2 TAs......

OP posts:

ThePregnantMerryYuleWitch · 18/12/2008 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Cocobear · 18/12/2008 23:11

Buy the teacher a bell as an Xmas pressie. Attach it to the classroom door for him/her.

dmo · 18/12/2008 23:11

prob had a go at you cause she felt guilty and she did have to tell you so before you could complain to the head she had a go at you
at 5 there should be nursery nurses around too

Original poster

whonickedmynickname · 18/12/2008 23:12

The question was raised that possibly my child's behaviour needed to be looked at more closely as a result of this........

I know I am biased - but I can't see how this behaviour is my child's fault???!!! 5 year olds will push boudaries to the limit - unless you stop them. My child is simply pushing boundaries and meeting no resistance yes?

OP posts:

Ebb · 18/12/2008 23:13

I'm amazed none of the other children grassed him up to be honest! I guess if the teacher was busy with other children and it was probably that ' noisy pre Christmas chaos' then he could have slipped out pretty easily.

Is your DC unhappy at school? Was there a reason why he went and hid? I'm glad he stayed in school and didn't try to go home.

KerryMum · 18/12/2008 23:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

whonickedmynickname · 18/12/2008 23:16

I'm concerned he doesn't like school. His school tells me he's just plain naughty. I'm supposed to be qualified to know abotu this stuff but when its your own kids - its hard to be objective

Oh and I think the other kids are always grassing him up for something (hes new there) so the teacher has started to ignore them - which I suppose is fair on the one hand

OP posts:

Cocobear · 18/12/2008 23:19

The teacher really does need to keep the kids safe. Which she can't do if she's not aware they've left the classroom. Blaming a 5-year-old is a bit ridiculous.

poinsettydog · 18/12/2008 23:26

Is it an open plan classroom or a doors-always-shut classroom?

What were the childrne doing at the time? A hectic moving-about lesson like art/choosing time or a quiet bit of language work?

alfiemama · 18/12/2008 23:26

I would complain to the head

whatwouldyouthink · 18/12/2008 23:29

Why was he hiding have you spoken to him about it?

I would be mad too, it should hve been noiced and I agree you have been belittled in the hope you don't complain.

Original poster

whonickedmynickname · 18/12/2008 23:31

poinsetty - I'm not entirely sure - tbh there is alot of manic stuff going on in the lead up to christmas - but I am getting a bit fed up with certina adults there blaming my child for every little misdemeanour that occurs! He is no angel don't get me wrong - btu he is not the devil incarnate - he is 5 for gods sake!

OP posts:

poinsettydog · 18/12/2008 23:39

well, it makes a big difference. I have seen four infant classes in one big open plan area with an art area in teh middle. If there are 25 5 year olds sticking and painting and asking adults for help, and there is one 5 year old determined to go walkabout, the chances are he will get out of the area. Maybe an adult did see him leaving but wasn't able to get to him quickly enough before he legged it.

If it was a walled and closed-door room with 25 children working hard on their letter formations in a quiet, engrossed way, then it would be unusual for one child to doisappear.

You need to speak to the teacher, possibly set up a meeting with the teacher and head, to try to find out why your ds is running out the room and what the procedure will be if he does it again.

MrsWeasleyStrokesSantasSack · 18/12/2008 23:42

Our 5 year olds are allowed out of the class room for the toilet without asking (saves wet patches!) Also the classroom isnt square so teacher wouldn't always be able to see the door opening.

Did your DC say why he went to the other classroom?

jenwyn · 19/12/2008 08:28

It sounds to me from what you have written that your DC has a school issue that needs to be sorted pretty quickly. If he is the scapegoat for all that goes wrong in the classroom
[Oh and I think the other kids are always grassing him up for something (hes new there)]
he might be getting upset enough to simply want to leave the classroom and get away.Not being deliberately naughty -just wanting space. Another child might simply cry.Or break things - to act as he is described by others.

So although him hiding another classroom isn't the problem (5 year olds are pretty slippery when they want to be and he was still within school bounds) the reasons for him doing so need to be addressed.

needmorecoffee · 19/12/2008 08:46

ds1 got out of school and was found half an hour later by another mum wondering the street. The school didn't bother to tell me and I found out from this mum.
The teacher and school tried to wiggle out of all responsibility. ffs

mumto2andnomore · 19/12/2008 08:47

The teacher should have noticed.
However at 5 he is also old enough to understand rules and should not have left the classroom,same as he wouldnt just walk out of the front door at home.
I would arrange a meeting with the teacher and have a chat about how you can work together to improve things. Good luck.

Fleurlechaunte · 19/12/2008 14:21

This is terrible. She should have been embarassed about telling you that not bollocking you for his behaviour. Your ds is 5, they are responsible adults.

I was walking up the stairs with my ds his school for his concert the other day and he turned a corner and walked out into a corridor about 3 seconds before I followed him. He was immediately converged upon from all sides by 3 teachers wanting to know what he was doing there and why he was out of his classroom. I found it very comforting.

I would definitely want to meet to discuss how this could happen if I were you.

Original poster

whonickedmynickname · 19/12/2008 14:28

fleur - love your story! thats how I think it should be in school - I used to teach big kids and I would never not question a lone child wondering around the school when lessons are going on.....

its not the first time hes hidden from them - it strikes me as very attention seeking. He does get bored very easily and is being given work that he has done previously but they are concerned that if they push him harder academically they will upset his self esteem.

I'm torn between their obvious concern for his self esteem but concerned at their inability to get him to toe the line and crack on with his studies. hes a bright kid and should be workign harder than he is now.

His handwriting for example is tonnes worse than it was last year....he has just got shoddy because he's allowed to. I wonder if he hides just to relieve some of the boredom of the day.....

This particular time he did it because another child told him to.....[hmmm]

OP posts:

leeloo1 · 19/12/2008 18:44

I know its not a good thing to have happened, but sadly as a teacher there is very little you can do to get kids to toe the line - other than meet with parents, agree action plan etc. What would you like the tecaher to do - tie a bell round his neck or superglue him to a chair?

Its now considered very bad practice to have 5 years olds sitting at desks working, most classes have 3 x 10-15 minutes carpet-time and the rest of the day will be free flow play - usually between indoor and outdoor areas (both of which should be supervised). The system relies on kids to behave themselves and adults to make them understand why they should - i.e. I'd expect both you and the class teacher to be saying 'if you go and hide and you get ill/hurt etc then no-one will know where you are and be able to help you.' Not to say the teacher shouldn't be aware of the kids - i.e. if a child asked me to go to the loo I'd keep a weather eye open for their return, but if they made a run for it then there'd be very little I could do with 29 other kids to teach.

constancereader · 19/12/2008 18:51

when I was teaching I could easily have missed a child leaving the room. I could have had my back to the door.

Not defending the other issues btw, just making the comment that I could imagine that specific incident. No child ever did go out on me though.

loobeylou · 19/12/2008 18:55

sorry OP, but as a teacher, and as amum of 3, that is not a normal thing for a five yr old to do. Go for a walk to nosey in other classroom windows perhaps (whilst on an errand), or mess around with the taps in the loo, or swap coats on coat pegs for a joke, yes,but why go hide in an empty room? Why was he out of class (if he just left of his own will, that is odd in itself). How long was he gone, how was he found?

I also don't agree that the class do not like him, and are always blaming him, grassing him up etc. Most times new kids are fought over by everyone else keen to be their first new friend, so he must be doing something to make himself unpopular.

I think the teachers are right, there is something not right here and it needs addressing. How can they ever trust him to have a turn taking the register to the office, or going to the loo unsupervised if this is what he does?

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