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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder how my DC managed to wonder out of class across a playground and hide in another empty classroom....

88 replies

whonickedmynickname · 18/12/2008 23:07

There seem to be plenty of teachers on here so here's one for you......
DC1 is 5. Today apparently managed to walk out of the classroom in the middle of a lesson, down a corridor, out of an external door, across a playground and into another (empty) classroom and hide under a table for quite some time....
AIBU to ponder why the teacher had a go at me about my child's behaviour when all I can wonder is how the hell my child was able to do all of that with noone noticing?????!!!!

OP posts:
poinsettydog · 20/12/2008 11:24

bosom friends or frighten them. There's another option for you.

VirginBoffinMum · 20/12/2008 11:25

Meetings, schmeetings. Let the meeting come when the school starts to feel a bit more sorry, then whonicked can look the picture of reasonableness. At the moment they seem to be blaming a five year old for not looking after himself properly. Luckily he was sensible enough not to try to walk home or whatever. This needs to be properly documented, because apart from anything else, it may happen to another child who is not so sensible.

Original poster
whonickedmynickname · 20/12/2008 11:28

poinsetty - HT is going to mull it over the xmas holls with a view to drawing up an action plan in the new year. I find it hard to accept tho that DS or myself are too blame for it all - surely the school should take some of the responsibility for his behaviour? After all they are the professionals?.........and he didn't behave this terribly at his old school because they just wouldn't have given him the opportunity to. They were alot tougher on him.

OP posts:
Original poster
whonickedmynickname · 20/12/2008 11:30

boffin has a point - my child is pretty intelligent and would stop short of doing anything hidious or dangerous - others not so bright could have got hurt in this situation.....

OP posts:
poinsettydog · 20/12/2008 11:31

you are only telling us the scant outline of what has been happening, who. None of us here know anything about your ds or the teacher or the school or you. All we can tell you is a load of fairly random genralised opinions.

You need to talk to the UT and others and draw up a plan (as the HT is suggesting). And yes, talking to the people who matter does constitute a meeting, boffin.

I don't think boffin has any desire at all to help your son. The HT will almost certainly have that desire.

VirginBoffinMum · 20/12/2008 11:33

He was a bit daft, and needs a bit of a telling off from his mum, however he is FIVE!!

My seven year old did a full escape a few weeks ago, walking home at the end of school instead of going home with his friends and another mum as he was supposed to. The school were great, noticed pretty quickly and apologised because they had 'lost' him.

I didn't think they were entirely to blame as pickup time is a bit of a melee, and he did take it into his head to try walking home alone 'for an adventure' as he put it, but I was reassured that they reacted so quickly and took responsibility like that. That's really what you want when you are handing your children over to someone, surely?

Original poster
whonickedmynickname · 20/12/2008 11:35

well poinsetty am new to mumsnet not sure of protocol and what not in how much to bore people with. Started as genuine curiosity as to whether others would have reacted as I did (which was apologise for his behavoour and scurry off) or wether they would have done what I actually wanted to which was demand an audience with the ht and staff involved and demand to know how the hell he was able to to do what he did (for the third time btw - he has hidden from them before!) without them knowing.

The thread has thrown up some far more interesting stuff tho and as I do not profess to be an expert in anything - I am well up for taking on board all comments abotu where I go from here with my darling child

OP posts:
Original poster
whonickedmynickname · 20/12/2008 11:37

sorry the typos in that were appalling.....

OP posts:
VirginBoffinMum · 20/12/2008 11:38

That was a bit mean, poinsetty. I am very experienced, and in all sorts of schools all the time, and I genuinely think in this case they're wrong here. I really do want the best for OP and DS. HTs on the other hand can be incredibly defensive sometimes.

poinsettydog · 20/12/2008 11:38

ok, fair enough. No need for you to be so apologetic with the school. You should be calm and confident, get in touch with them in the new year and request that you meet with HT and teacher to speak about this plan and find out how you can help too.

poinsettydog · 20/12/2008 11:41

That's fine, boffin. Those are your ecperiences. I've been in quite a few schools too and teh heads I've come across most definitely do want to find a solution for the children who leg it. There can be no solution, and no real opinion formed of this particulat head, until who meets with them and talks it rhough (as their equal of course, not as a submissive apologising parent)

findtheriver · 20/12/2008 12:45

If a 5 year old is determined to walk off and hide, they will.

Of course, if the teacher's sole job is to stand and watch the class of 25/30 children and monitor whether they are trying to escape, then yes, you could reasonbly expect them to notice.

Unfortunately that other little job of teaching does tend to get in the way.

Maybe the teacher was engaged in talking to/teaching other children. Maybe they were doing an absolutely first rate job. Maybe the parents of all the other children in the class would be pissed off that the OP expects the entire attention of the professionals in the classroom to be focused on whether her child is going to decide to walk off. Most children of this age understand basic rules such as not leaving the room without asking.

OhLITTLEFISHofBethlehem · 20/12/2008 12:53

Agree with findtheriver. This is the case in my classroom with 6 children who regularly abscond.

edam · 20/12/2008 13:12

I'm rather startled to discover teachers think it's fine to let children wander out of the classroom and quite possibly out of the school. Schools are 'in loco parentis' - they have a legal responsibility to keep children safe. At secondary age it might well be the pupils' own look-out but I think it's reasonable to expect that a teacher to know where a 5yo is.

findtheriver · 20/12/2008 13:16

Who are the teachers who are said it's 'fine' for children to wander out of school edam?

findtheriver · 20/12/2008 13:16

have said

edam · 20/12/2008 13:21

That's how your post read to me, FTR.

bronze · 20/12/2008 13:22

Out of interest is there a Fred or is he imaginary?

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 20/12/2008 13:23

Erm this issue needs addressing straight away. The same incident happpened at my dd1's school about two months ago. A child wandered out of her classroom and was found hiding in a cuboard hours later.

A few days later a boy of age 5 was found wandering in the local park, by the beck. He had escaped the same school. Thank god some one found him when they did, he could have easily drowned if he had slipped into the water.

findtheriver · 20/12/2008 13:26

Ah well maybe you need to read what's actually written edam.

Actually although I hold a teaching qualification, my career is not teaching.

I did not say it was 'fine' for children to leave the room and go and hide. If I were the teacher or parent involved I'd actually be really concerned about why the child thought that was acceptable. It is definitely not fine, and not usual behaviour for a 5 year old.

My post was making the point that if you expect a teacher to teach, then you cannot expect them to be able to prevent at all times, a child choosing to walk out. You cannot teach effectively while simultaneously watching all 30 children in the class. The teacher may have been reading a child's work, engaging with a child in some other way, they may have been writing on the board or a million and one other things. That's good teaching. And if I were the parent of any other child in that class, then I'd be pissed off that anyone else could think watching the classroom exits at all times is more important than teaching.

OrmIrian · 20/12/2008 13:39

I don't expect my children to push the boundaries at school. All their boundary-pushing is done at home, especially at that age. Agree with findtheriver.

And no a teacher can't watch 30 children all the time. For example do they get accompanied to the loo? In our reception that is off the lobby just outside the classroom. It would only take a moment to nip out to the playground, but I wouldn't honestly expect a teacher or a TA to be standing guard over a toilet.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 20/12/2008 13:41

I would expect he doors to the playground to be locked OrmIrian.

findtheriver · 20/12/2008 13:43

Not if it's a fire door SheSells.

OrmIrian · 20/12/2008 13:43

Really? It's not a prison. They aren't as far as I know. And we've not lost any pupils. I still find it hard to comprehend why a child would do that unless they had big problems with school.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 20/12/2008 13:48

No its not a prison it's a primary school and primary aged children are unpredictable at the best of times. I don't think there should be a way that they can escape the school should the urge take them.

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