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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my HV is an idiot?

32 replies

mololoko · 18/12/2008 17:33

my dd pfb dropped from 50th percentile at birth down to 2nd at 4 weeks. she was tongue tied and had trouble breastfeeding.

I started giving her formula then as HV told me I was "starving my baby". (wish i'd known then what i know now).

have really struggled with bf, had all kinds of problems and she is probably 90% ff (about 25oz a day a 4 months - HV tells me she should be on 40oz). i have always been v. unhappy about ff, and still bf as much as i can and just top her up.

today dd is up to 75th percentile HV says she's fat and i should stop doing the bf and just give her formula!!

aaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhh. grrrrr.

at least now i know not to listen, which i didn't know when she was 4 weeks old

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FioFio · 18/12/2008 17:35

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FiveGoMadInDorset · 18/12/2008 17:38

2 of the 3 HV's I know have given me rotten advice, it is quite scary, one didn't have a clue that babies could get silent reflux, the other not at all concerened that DS had basically thrown up lots after every bottle for 5 weeks.

meemar · 18/12/2008 17:38

I don't understand how health professionals can be so misinformed.

It's actually worrying - how do you know you can trust them with any information?

MrsMattie · 18/12/2008 17:38

I met my first ever non-idiot HV a few weeks ago. It was a revelation!

Seriously - ignore. The woman sounds like an ignoramous.

VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly · 18/12/2008 17:38

Can you not up the bf and give less formula?

yanbu she is misinformed

TheCrackFox · 18/12/2008 17:39

YANBU. They are paid with our tax money to talk drivel.

Have you thought about stopping the whole weighing thing? It is not compulsory.

Do what you want to do with YOUR baby and ignore the silly bint.

grumblealltheway · 18/12/2008 17:42

I would take anything she says with a pinch of salt from now on then. The HV for DS1 was brilliant (he was a failure to thrive baby) the HV for DS2 is nothing more than a laugh. She says DS2's frequent night wakings are down to him being a 'bright boy'. I don't bother going any more. If I was you I would either stop having any dealings with her or try to find another in your area. Sounds like she needs her training updating.

JerricaBenton · 18/12/2008 17:43

My HV is horrified that i allow my 8 month old DS to feed himself at every meal. I had to tell her EXACTLy what he has at every meal, as she jad "never heard anything like it" grrrr

feelingbitfestive · 18/12/2008 17:44

They are all mostly pretty shite.
I thought it was more likely to have a 'fat' baby on formula? Not that your baby is fat of course, mines on the 99th(!) and even he isn't particularly fat (just well rounded). And as for starving your baby .......... For the next one I am refusing all contact with HVs or anyone unless its on my terms. I will go to baby clinic for regular weigh ins and accidentally forget my little red book so that they have nothing to compare it to, and I will raise any concerns I have.
YANBU - by the way

BalloonSlayer · 18/12/2008 17:44

I mentioned to one HV that I was worried about pfb DS1's calcium intake given that he was allergic to dairy and soya.

She suggested I give him yogurt.

Then looked perplexed when, having pointed out that yogurt is made from milk, or if it isn't then it's made from soya, I cut short the rest of the conversation. She seemed a bit at a loss as to why I no longer felt like listening to her dietary advice.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 18/12/2008 17:47

The point is they are there to give advice, you can choose to take it or not. You can also choose not to see them. Our clinic had a self weigh system which was fab, you could go and weigh your baby with just a friendly nod to the HV's. Although I was told off for charting it on the graph myself (wtf) as if I couldn't work it out myself.

If I were you I'd try to up the BF's and drop the formula (not sure of this is convenient or what you want of course)

NorthernLurkerwithastarontop · 18/12/2008 17:48

Well yanbu at all. What a daft woman! I must say though that all the hvs I've known have been well informed and supportive - one was a bit worried dd1 wasn't on 3 meals a day at 8 months (if she had lunch she refused afternoon feed so we stuck with the afternoon feed and scapped lunch for a bit) but apart from that they've all beeen great. I really don't know where the nutty ones get their info from - my mil is an ex-health vistor and she is very well informed and tactful.

gabygirl · 18/12/2008 17:49

Did she recommend you see a lactation consultant or bf counsellor? Did she talk to you about snipping the tongue tie so your baby could feed better?

I really, really can't believe she advised you to stop breastfeeding because your baby is on the 75th centile. What - does she think all babies should be 'average' (ie on the 50th centile?)

rowingboat · 18/12/2008 17:50

She sounds appalling, I would think about reporting her (I say think, because I often don't quite get around to acting on my good ideas). It's scary to think she is giving this damaging advice to less well-informed mums.

Ineedmorechocolatenow · 18/12/2008 17:53

Jeez, she sounds like a clue-less idiot. Continue as you are, it sunds as tho you are doing brilliantly! I think you just need to do the opposite of whatever she says and you'll be doing okay. I HATE those percentile charts. They made my friend so depressed because her child was on the 5th for weeks. She's just naturally slim (her parents are both naturally tall and skinny and would probably be on the 5th ). Luckily she managed to see the one nice HV at our practice who came to her house for the first year or so she didn't have to confront the others at clinic. My friend continued to BF for 6 months and her DD was absolutely fine and was thriving (even tho she was quite slim).

Is there another HV you could see?

I really hope there is and that you start getting some half decent advice soon xx

FioFio · 18/12/2008 17:54

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Original poster
mololoko · 18/12/2008 17:57

she also suggested i should think about weaning soon.

i didn't mention i'm planning to wait 'til she's ready and go for blw.

hadn't thought of not going. what an excellent suggestion

one of the main reasons i increased the ff was because dd will only bf for 5 min or less - she often doesn't seem unhappy after the 5 mins, but will guzzle a bottle if offered. am going to stop offering unless she seems hungry.

she has definitely developed flow preference though

OP posts:
alors · 18/12/2008 17:59

Oi Fio - some health visitors are wonderful

FioFio · 18/12/2008 18:04

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Coldtits · 18/12/2008 18:05

40oz a day?

That's 2 fucking pints!

Put a complaint in. She sounds like one of those arrogant cunts who wants everyone to do what statistics say so she doesn't have to crank her brain out of neutral..

Original poster
mololoko · 18/12/2008 18:07

gaby - had the tt cut at 7 weeks and have fantastic support from lactation consultants/clinics etc but dd has never really got the hang of latching on - i still have bleeding nipples and recurrent thrush four and half months in.

have always had trouble with supply too due to poor latch.

however, she still gets SOME breastmilk and i'm proud and happy at every mouthful she swallows. i always thought i'd bf til she was at least 3! oh well

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FioFio · 18/12/2008 18:07

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FioFio · 18/12/2008 18:08

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Original poster
mololoko · 18/12/2008 18:08

ps fio - you're right about everything except i'm not young

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Original poster
mololoko · 18/12/2008 18:10

fio - yep - seen NCT consultants, breastfeeding network consultants, an independent lactation consultant, my doula, loads of friends that have bf'd etc etc

i've tried REALLY hard - it's all been a bit of a nightmare. hence i am VERY unwilling to stop the small amount of bm she still gets.

luckily, i have a beautiful, healthy daughter

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