To be furious to see one of dd's teachers smoking outside the school gates in full view of school-children arriving

[pcworld]

I appreciate that it is a free country and people have the right to smoke. The teacher in question is not smoking within the school grounds. However ... surely there must be somewhere else for school staff to smoke that is out of view of the children? I am very upset about this! What do others think? I'm unsure how to handle it. I would like to say something to the head - along the lines of suggesting that an appropriate place is provided for staff to smoke in. And at the same time praising the teachers, who we have been really pleased with. Any comments?

I once picked up a discarded cigarette and smoked it as was young, broke and desperate for nicotine.

Think that's pretty low and shows it's a major addiction tbh.

i bummed ciggies from total strangers, even used credit cards to buy fags when i had no money or borrowed money from pals to buy fags.

It uis def unprofessional and most schools IME have policies or at least guidelines to teachers stating not to do this.

Would I report it myself? If first time then no, probably not. If regularly then possibly yes.

I did some of those and a few more as well, expat. But those are relatively tame things. Would you ever prostitute yourself to buy a pack? Would you kill someone to steal their wallet so you could buy cigarettes?

And when you quit, did you scream with pain for days, throw up endlessly, and thought you would literally die if you didn't find a cigarette soon? Did you have to be hospitalized?

I certainly didn't.

I was. I tried over and over again to stop, I was at various times choosing to smoke rather than eat and was permanently disgusted with myself for my inability to give up. I used to wake up in the night trembling with fear that I would still be smoking in my fifties and would die of lung cancer. You can call it pathetic if you want, but I have a fair amount of grit and have surmounted things which you would probably consider to be much harder than giving up smoking.

In the end I managed it because 1)the nicotine inhalor-thingy took the edge off it enough for me to get through the hellish first couple of months, 2)both my kids were diagnosed with asthma in the same week, 3)my mother had a pulmonary embolism and was using me as a prop to carry on HER smoking habit and 4)dh agreed to give up with me. It was hell, but we managed it. I've gained a lot of weight since giving up and I still get strong cravings (several years later), I don't think my experience is very unusual.

Nobody is saying cigarettes are not addictive.

Only saying that nicotine addiction is nowhere near as powerful and near-impossible to break as heroin addiction.

It's an excellent opportunity to teach your child tolerance and understanding. Here's someone they look up to, doing something perfectly legal which others are using to make him/her a pariah; and he/she has to do it in outside in the cold.

I had no difficulty in giving up alcohol, when my doctor told me to do so. Does this prove that alcohol is not addictive, Georgimama?

Having never been addicted to heroin, I won't labour the point.

But medically/phyiologically there does seem to be a large body of well-informed opinion that considers nicotine addiction to be comparable with heroin addiction.

well, i actually took the cheater's way out to quit, Cote.

i had hella nausea and vomitting from the get go whilst pregnant with DD1, before i was even late, in fact. that was my first clue that i was pregnant.

so i got let off easy when it came to withdrawal symptoms.

There is a large body of all sorts of opinion from all sides, on the internet.

It is a fact that both are serious addictions, but it is hyperbole to say nicotine addiction is as strong as heroin.

Just consider how people need to be institutionalized, drugged, & locked up to kick a heroin addiction, whereas it basically takes willpower to stop smoking. I decided to stop, and I did. Munched on a few carrot sticks the first few days and that was that. Hardly the same ball game as screaming with excruciating physical pain, having to be locked up, willing to steal/prostitute/kill just to get the next fix. Really.

YANBU

Anyone who says that adults smoke and kids are going to see this anywhere, are missing the point that teachers are role-models, and if we're very lucky, respected and looked up to by our children. Perhaps a quick swig of Stella in full view of the kids would be fine too in that case?!

p.s. any companies I have worked for have banned employees smoking outside the building where customers can see as it looks bad, even before the smoking ban came in to force. Why should a school be any different? It should be far more of an issue.

I quit first time some years ago when pregnant with DD, too, pretty much the same way. No nausea but hypersensitivity to odors did it for me. Then picked it up once I was done with breastfeeding.

This time, a year ago, I wasn't pregnant and it still wasn't so hard. Carrot sticks for a few days, avoided coffee and alcohol for a month, and that was that.

Seriously, there is no need to overly dramatise nicotine addiction. Yes, it's addictive. But no, the addiction is not that strong. Those who really want to quit, do. Like, when they are diagnosed with cancer, for example - quite a few people I know have quit instantly this way

Yes Cote, but all the same, it isn't easy peesy lemon squeezy either.

Cote, I ment the comparing the smack with the fags.

I am a teacher and a smoker and personally would never smoke where I could be seen by a child at my school. It would just feel, well, wrong. I wait until I get home!

Me too, Parsley! In fact, if I'm really stressed at lunch time, I get in my car and drive round the corner and out of sight of children!

I will never join the hoards of teachers that stand just outside the shool gates! It's horrid!

pcworld - YANBU. I would certainly take it up with the head.

I would have marched over and had a word with the teacher myself. If the teacher wan't to smoke before school she should get up earlier,and do it out of the sight of the children.

Has OP mentioned how old the children in question are?

It is not the same for everyone. That's why some people find it much easier to give up than others. The same applies to heroin too.

I do think the OP is unreasonable - unless smoking is illegal then the teacher is perfectly within her rights to smoke wherever she chooses if it's off school premises and in her own town.

If you reported me for smoking, I'd stand outside your house smoking on the pavement tbh. It's really busybody.

Never particularly encouraged my dcs to view teachers as some sort of superior godlike creatures. As long as they behave at school, I am quite happy for them to be aware that they are fallible human beings who don't know everything and won't necessarily always make wise decisions.

yabu, or you´´re not for real.

You forget people are not lemmings.

I had loads of teachers who smoked, some even in class (not saying this was great, but it´´s a long long time ago, far far away on the continent). My uncle smoked, my gandfather smoked....

None of this made me want to smoke.

Bl##dy sanctimonious op. Get a life. Get a grip.