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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious to see one of dd's teachers smoking outside the school gates in full view of school-children arriving

298 replies

pcworld · 16/12/2008 14:13

I appreciate that it is a free country and people have the right to smoke. The teacher in question is not smoking within the school grounds. However ... surely there must be somewhere else for school staff to smoke that is out of view of the children? I am very upset about this! What do others think? I'm unsure how to handle it. I would like to say something to the head - along the lines of suggesting that an appropriate place is provided for staff to smoke in. And at the same time praising the teachers, who we have been really pleased with. Any comments?

OP posts:
ScottishMummy · 16/12/2008 16:11

georgimama i advise on lots of things i have never had eg CHD,below knee amputation.i dont need to experientailly do it to know it

in addictions most staff have no experiential knowledge.but shed loads of professional academic knowledge

ScottishMummy · 16/12/2008 16:11

georgimama i advise on lots of things i have never had eg CHD,below knee amputation.i dont need to experientailly do it to know it

in addictions most staff have no experiential knowledge.but shed loads of professional academic knowledge

georgimama · 16/12/2008 16:15

You knock yourself out but I wouldn't take advice on smoking cessation from someone who had not experienced it first hand. I don't think you are in a position to do so. It's just my opinion.

spokette · 16/12/2008 16:15

I do not smoke and I do not make it my business to frown on those who do.

I do not swear and I do not make it my business to frown on those who do.

I do not sleep around and I do not make it my business to frown on those who do.

I do not give my children fizzy drinks and I do not make it my business to frown on those who do.

I do give my children sausage rolls and I don't care if I am frowned upon for doing so.

I do give my children fruit shoots and I don't care if I am frowned upon for doing so.

Shall I continue?

We live in a free country and people are free to do what they want as long as they don't break the law. What a dreary world it would be if we were identikit clones.

ScottishMummy · 16/12/2008 16:18

Georgimama if your male gp gave advice about pg would you ignore because he had never been pg or a childless MW ignored because never had a baby.flawed logic

one does not necessarilly need to have disease or addiction to offer evidence based advice on either condition

georgimama · 16/12/2008 16:20

I'm talking very specifically about smoking cessation. I don't think anyone who hasn't smoked is in a position to understand what it is like.

Do the same rules have to apply to everything? Of course not. That is daft.

The flawed logic is all yours.

ScottishMummy · 16/12/2008 16:24

fortunately my employer doesnt agree.staff who complete appropriate training can be smoking cessation advisors

ScottishMummy · 16/12/2008 16:24

fortunately my employer doesnt agree.staff who complete appropriate training can be smoking cessation advisors

spokette · 16/12/2008 16:27

Georgina, just because one does not have personal experience does not automatically preclude one from having empathy and therefore giving advice.

The flawed logic is yours I am afraid.

georgimama · 16/12/2008 16:28

Good for them. I never claimed this was my decision to make for the NHS. It's just an opinion. Please try to understand this concept.

MadameCastafiore · 16/12/2008 16:30

YABU - if she was being shagged by a bear from behind whilst smoking and glugging a litre bottle of gin you would have a point!

God DD would tell her off but I would tell DD that we are only human and her consumption of the stuff she harvests from her nose is pretty vile too.

georgimama · 16/12/2008 16:30

And see above Spokette. I never made any claim that I had made a logical argument of a conculsion drawn from premises, I said it was my opinion. Scottishmummy was the one who tried to extrapolate from my very personal opinion on smoking cessation advice the conclusion that I must therefore think no one could advise on anything unless they had personal experience.

You are obviously both very keen that I should change my opinion but I'm not going to.

MmeHereWeGoAWassailLindt · 16/12/2008 16:33

My dad stopped smoking at last this summer, after dozens of attempts using everything from patches to hypnotherapy. He was diagnosed with COPD 4 years ago but even that did not make him stop completely. Even the birth of his DGC did not persuade him to stop, despite ruthless emotional blackmail from me.

It took the birth of his 3rd DGC (my brother's DD who actually lives in the country so sees them weekly) and smoke cessation classes in the local hospital to make him stop.

I think that some people can smoke and then give up reasonably easily. My DH was like that. He was very intolerant of my dad.

All of this is not relevant to OP other than to say that a teacher who smokes has made her own decision and that is her right. As long as she is off school premises then it is no one elses business.

CoteDAzur · 16/12/2008 16:34

Quitting cigarettes cold turkey takes some will power and not much else. Comparing this to heroin withdrawal is hyperbole imho.

I quit smoking a year ago because I didn't want to smoke anymore, and it was nowhere near as difficult to kick as I heard heroin addiction to be.

Never even thought about prostituting myself to get a ciggie, for starters.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 16/12/2008 16:35

Well said Spokette.

VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly · 16/12/2008 16:35

YANBU filthy farking habbit, why would she want her pupils to see her smoking, dozy bint should have gone behind the bike sheds

georgimama · 16/12/2008 16:37

Exactly Cote, how many prostitutes are on the streets because they need a Benson and Hedges? How many people shoplift because they feel like they'll die without a Silk Cut?

Not very many, I would imagine.

londontipton · 16/12/2008 17:02

YANBU - it would have ticked me off even though it is her legal right to do as she pleases..

BTW am a smug EX chain smoker and it was bloody murder to give up but love being fag free.

everGreensleeves · 16/12/2008 17:03

true georgimama, but then ciggies are considerably cheaper than heroin and not nearly so difficult to get your hands on

CoteDAzur · 16/12/2008 17:07

The point was that even if they were more expensive and harder to get than heroin, nobody would prostitute themselves to get a cigarette.

everGreensleeves · 16/12/2008 17:08

I'm not so sure about that. Nicotine addiction is terrifying powerful for some people.

CoteDAzur · 16/12/2008 17:08

Yeah, well, I am sure about that.

expatinscotland · 16/12/2008 17:09

no, i never prostituted myself for a fag back in my smoking days, but i did: a) fish ciggy ends out of my ashtrays and rubbish bins and break them up to make a rollie b) drive in a blizzard at 3AM to an all-night petrol garage to buy fags c) dig in my car's ashtray for fag ends d) beg fags off my neighbours e) hunt for coins in the couch to buy fags.

everGreensleeves · 16/12/2008 17:09

Oh, good. Are you an authority, or is it just your personal opinion?

CoteDAzur · 16/12/2008 17:10

Are you or were you a smoker Greensleeves?

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