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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...if I de-nit my dd bf when she comes to tea....

70 replies

nitnurse · 15/12/2008 10:58

Ok, I probably am, but as she has repeatedly given headlice to my dd, and by default me and now my ds (who is not even 1 yet, thought I'd have a couple of years before I'd be doing his hair). Talking to my dd about it bf mum has apparently tried but the bf just 'won't let her near her hair'.

I understand that she is eight and probably could put up a really good fight and that it can be close to impossible to convince an eight year old to do anything they don't want to, but I'm pretty sure she's let me, she has previously let me comb and brush her hair when we played hairdresser with my dd, I was thinking I could try an extension of that with posh shampoo and the lyclear as a 'conditioning treatment'. Or is this waaay overstepping the mark and I should just keep up with the combing and conditioner every two days.

I feel sorry for the bf, although it is a situation of her own making, I would talk to her mum about it but really don't know her well, playdates are always arranged with the au pair.

I have namechanged as I don't know if bf's mum reads this site!

OP posts:
Anna8888 · 15/12/2008 10:59

I think this is OK.

belgo · 15/12/2008 11:00

I think you can offer to de-nit her hair for her, maybe ask the mum first.

I'm surpirsed though that an eight year old doesn't want her hair to be de-nitted - I think most eight year old girls would be desperate not to have nits.

ChopsTheDuck · 15/12/2008 11:00

why can't you ujsut ask the mum for her permission?
If she is struggling, she might even appreciate it.

bratnavipoddslitecuddlytoy · 15/12/2008 11:01

yep, play hairdressers, I would, but I would sweat that the bf Mum would go NUTS when she found out

SuperSillyus · 15/12/2008 11:02

hmm, I might be tempted too as long as the bf was happy. If I was the mum I would be gratefull to you but to keep yourself right you probably ought to ask the mum's permission somehow.

emskaboo · 15/12/2008 11:03

I could ask mum, but really don't know her and can't work out how to offer without offending her. I thought if I played hairdressers I could just say to au pair at collecting time, oh we played hairderssers and I combed through bf's hair, she had some nits but hopefully I got them all, tra la la la, all innocent like, , no?

DaidiNaNollag · 15/12/2008 11:04

I think I would be very annoyed if someone deloused my child without my permission but then again, if my boys had nits, there would be no drama permitted, I would insist that they put up with nit treatment!
So you are probably NBU but could be in a lot of trouble!

StephanieByng · 15/12/2008 11:10

No it's outrageous of you to plan to do this to a child who is not yours. Be a grown up and talk to the mother - offer to help.

StephanieByng · 15/12/2008 11:11

or just continue to treat your children; that's all you have the right to do unless you ask the parent of the other girl.

georgiemum · 15/12/2008 11:12

Mum 'so what did you do at Jane's house today'
Kid 'her mummy de-loused me'

I would love to be a fly on the wall

debzmb62 · 15/12/2008 11:13

i,d do it but i would ask the mum first were all adults !! kids get nits !!

StephanieByng · 15/12/2008 11:14

and what if she were allergic to what you used?

emskaboo · 15/12/2008 11:14

Ok, general consensus seems to be I ask first, as mum is impossible to get hold off can I ask the au pair?!

NotDoingTheHousework · 15/12/2008 11:15

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Message withdrawn

emskaboo · 15/12/2008 11:15

BF is literally lousy with them, it is very evident!

emskaboo · 15/12/2008 11:16

Oh shit, buggered up there and changed my name back, bum!!!

NotDoingTheHousework · 15/12/2008 11:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

StephanieByng · 15/12/2008 11:16

I just wouldn't. Keep your nose out for goodness sake!

NotDoingTheHousework · 15/12/2008 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Notreallycutoutforthis · 15/12/2008 11:21

If it's the bf's choice to not have the treatment from her mother, could you not just say to her that you can't have her round until she does? Or give her a nice flowery swimming cap to wear

navyeyelasH · 15/12/2008 11:21

Cant you call the mum and say your DD has nits and wont let you de-nit; but you think that if BF and your DD make a game out of it you think DD will let you? [sneaky]

noiamnot · 15/12/2008 11:22

you are a better woman than me. I wouldn't let a nit infested kid into my home.

SammyK · 15/12/2008 11:22

I wouldn't put lyclear or such on without asking!

I think you could comb through with regular (maybe tea tree) conditioner though. I agree with another poster I find it odd an 8 year old girl lousy with nits doesn't want rid of them!?

I have a bottle of tea tree detangler spray I use on ds what about something like that?

You do need to ask first thogh!

saintmaybe · 15/12/2008 11:24

I'd be delighted if someone did any of mine. I do them every 2-3 days too, but atm they keep coming back. Why on earth would anyone object? It's a very dull job

noiamnot · 15/12/2008 11:24

listen, put it on your own kid. Say something along the lines of "my dd has nits again and I know she always plays with your dd so you might want to check her as my dd may have given them to her OR tell her that your dd has nits and you were afraid she gave them to her dd so you checked her when she was over.