to take the mick out of male colleagues who bring in shared food that their WIVES have made

[morningpaper]

this makes me both scornful and slightly depressed and I resort to extreme sarcasm

Only last week I was nibbling lemon cake from a colleagues WIFE.

What IS that ABOUT?

AIBU?

I like baking. I also like eating cake. However, I have no desire to be the size of a house. Hence, I bake, reserve a reasonable amount for home consumption, then send the rest in with dh. His team is small so there's enough to go round whereas mine's too big. I fail to see a problem, feminist or otherwise, in any of that.

My DP runs a company where there expected standards of professional behaviour . 95% of his workforce are women and they work very hard - I doubt they would be appreciative of the boss's wife sending in cakes baked in her spare time. It would be immensely patronising.

What if the boss brought in excess apples he'd grown in his spare time? Would that be immensely patronising?

And I still don't understand what is unprofessional about cake. Anna is determined not to explain, could anyone hypothesise for me what the problem is? I am not being arsey, I am genuinely interested.

What is the boss's wife expected to do with her spare time? Is she not supposed to have any?

she should be fixing the car...he should have made the cake himself.

If anyone ever thinks of me as "the boss's wife" then it shows we do not have the sort of relationship where I will spend any time baking for them

Yes, can I be the first to ask that one!! If the boss brings in a scrumptious cake made by himself, does this count as professional standards. Or is it unprofessional because he is not supposed to have any sapre time?

Immensely patronising??? What a load of boll rubbish.

Also, is it the cake eating itself that is unprofessional, or cake for all being supplied by one person, or cake being supplied by someone not of the office, or cake supplied by a woman? If one of the female work force goes out and buys a cake, is that unprofessional? Can she scoff it all herself and still count as professional?

Am fascinated by insights from a really professional workplace.

Cory I think ANYONE bringing in cakes or food that THEY have made/bought for their colleagues is NICE

it's just when this job is shifted to another member of the family that it becomes a trifle odd

Messy?!! Speak for yourself,
Sprogger! I won't be sharing my cake with you!

BUt mp, if your dh had an employee, who didn't know you, but saw your picture, say - she'd surely just think "that's the boss's wife"? It can just be neutral. Dh's students must just think I'm Dr MrHab's wife - they don't know anything about me. Doesn't mean I have a problem with them eating our excess cake.

Any anyway, MP - what about someone's husband sending in cake?

Is it odd for something to be done by the more proficient member of the family though?

I can't remember mp - had he asked her to make it or was it one she had made and was left over iyswim?

surely in that case there wasn't a job that was shifted, there just happened to be extra cake.

So if I had watered that apple tree, it would be odd for dh to take in excess apples?

dh is a lawyer and head of department. but his department really like cake. I can't see what's unprofessional about that. Maybe if they were sharing it with clients.

Anna, eating cakes for elevensies is a peculiarly British phenomenon. And I wouldn't find it patronising to be given cake by someone else, because I don't consider cake making to be my job, and am therefore completely neutral to the idea of opther people doing it forme.

The idea of being patronised by other people's cake goes hand in hand with "Oh I would be far to ashamed to have a cleaner, people would think I needed one!" and before you know it, you are laying out your husband's shirts so he doesn't wear the unironed ones and have people thinking you don't do the ironing.

Coldtits is right. Eating cakes for elevensens is a perfectly professional thing to do. And why would anyone want to eat inferior shop-bought cakes if there were much better home-made ones going spare. I would have taken dh's mince pies in for my students if we hadn't happened to scoff them all within days.

Crumbs ( as it were) MP - is this really exercising you?
Doesn't matter a figgy puddy. Unless you desire to be picky and trying over it. Which I'm sure you don't.....

I've worked in lots of female dominated places - even immensely professional ones - and when the boss's wife came in, we were just grateful to have something nice to eat - NOT patronised.

hmmm
what kind of a household is it (as alluded to earlier) where there are left over cakes?
If I bake cakes they ALL get eaten, no chance of left overs.
I think it all depends on the culture of cake-taking-in.
If man is expected/required to take in a contribution, and he can't be arsed to either cook or otherwise sort it out, then getting his wife to do it is indeed 'wife work' same as ironing his shirts.
On the other hand if for some reason a woman feels so generous towards her DH's colleagues that she takes it into her head to bake cakes for them which he in turn kindly transports for her, i would see this as slightly excessive and eccentric generosity.
Hev just consulted DP which is cooking curry while I print Christmas cards. He thinks it would be considered odd in his workplace for the former to happen. Also that any man who coudn't sort out his own food contribution would be 'a bit crap'.
(An exception might be if I had my own independent professional relationship with his colleagues and wanted to wish them well.)
....But then as he says, we exist on the fringes of society.

yes yes, I am with you on this MP but I am not sure why it is so creepy

I think its just too stepford and wifey really.

God I would have to kill anyone who (I knew) had referred to me as "the boss's wife" though.