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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how the hell people keep their homes clean?

134 replies

NoGoodAtCleaning · 13/12/2008 12:28

DP and I both work full time and have an 8mo. When I'm off work I want to spend the time with my baby, and my DP.

So the cleaning is getting behind and I'm really down about it. I'm sick of being embarressed of our home. And I'm sick of having to allocate days where I gut the whole house because the mess has built up.

Everyone else's houses are clean! My friend just had a baby and hers is spotless.

I just want to cry about it.

How do people do it?

OP posts:
WewishyouaBUMPERLICIOUS · 14/12/2008 11:10

Wah! I want a Roomba, and a cleaner!

BouncingTinsel · 14/12/2008 11:24

I have a friend who has a ds 15 weeks older than mine and I get very at how spotlessly tidy her house is. Now I work full time (or was off sick atm) and she is a SAHM. But even when I was on ML my house still looked a mess So I think she is just way more organised than me! And also she isn't a dirty slattern
Some good ideas here!

deanychip · 14/12/2008 11:39

i work full time.
have to do a bit every day.
get up half an hour before any one else and have a tidy.
fill up washer before i go to bed, then put washing on radiators in the morning to dry through the day...have to iron it all on Sunday when om off.
make sure i wash up and wipe the surfaces every day.
Run hoover over when ds is in the bath playing. ( he is 5, dh baths him) about twice a week then give it a good do from top to bottom on a Sat morning.(got 3 storeys to do)
change beds every 2 weeks.
mop floors every 2 weeks....there is no one in the house all day so it doesnt get bad.

bathroom gets cleaned once a week.

its not spotless but its good enough for us.

googgly · 14/12/2008 11:43

Haven't read all this, but laundry is quicker if you buy a laundry basket with different sections for different colours/fabrics so then you just dump contents in machine without sorting (dh/dcs must comply of course).

Hoover 2x per week, or every day with a crawling baby. Only thing that needs doing every single day is cleaning the kitchen, and cleaning the loo if you have 3 sons that tend to miss, like mine.

Do not permit your husband to put dirty dishes in the sink instead of in the dishwasher. Make it his job to unload it in the morning. Make him do the ironing too, and only iron things that actually need it.

Buy toyboxes that live on the floor and draw picture of what's supposed to be in them with indelible marker on the side so even the smallest child can be involved with tidying.

Ripeberry · 14/12/2008 12:31

I usually tidy like mad when someone is coming over to visit and i go into overdrive if it's someone new.
My DH never does any housework apart from putting out the bin, i've tried to train him but he just does is badly so i have to do it!
At the weekend he likes to spend his time going for trips and walks, but i've got so much to do that i prefer it if he takes the kids with him and i can clean the house and keep everything in its place just for 1hr.
Goodness, i sound like a control freak

revjustaboutdrinksmulledwine · 14/12/2008 12:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 14/12/2008 13:49

You see it's getting the balance right between making sure you enjoy your free time and not having a scummy health-hazardous house, isnt' it? Hard to get it just right. On one hand, I think Ripeberry's DH has got his priorities right - to go out with the kids on walks and stuff, but then I bet he'd feel as embarrassed as you were if anyone came to visit unexpectedly if the house was messy cos that week, you chose to go out on the walk instead, Ripeberry.

I do think everyone has different standards though. And I must admit that my own family's dirt and crumbs in our OWN house where we've hardly noticed it slowly accumulating bothers me much less than going to someone else's house and seeing crumbs and mess everywhere. I can happily live with my own dirt and mess up to a point, but wouldn't expect an outsider to! Which is the reason why I will happily let things slide for a few days if I want to have some proper "me time", but then the first whiff I get of a visitor coming round and I'm blushing like mad at the thought of them seeing the mess, and I have to frantically tidy up.

NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis · 14/12/2008 13:53

simple:

A - do cleaning and tidying every single day

or

B - relax your standards and accept that you will live in a mess but know the payoff for that is more time with your dc

or

C - pay someone else to do it.

C is not an option for everyone, obv, A is not an option for me, so it'd be B for me (if i couldnt afford C)

noonki · 14/12/2008 14:07

I read this poem on the wall of the doctors the other day which seems pretty apt:

I hope that my child, looking back on today,

remembers a mother who had time to play.

Children grow up when you're not looking,

there will be years ahead for cleaning and cooking

(so that justifies my messy house for me. )

alicet · 14/12/2008 14:23

I have a cleaner. My house is still a mess . When my 2 ds's and me have been in for even a couple of hours and then go out planning to come home after dh gets back from work I usually text him to let him know we have not been burgled!

liking that poem

TheButterflyEffect · 14/12/2008 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

alicet · 14/12/2008 14:44

pmsl butterflyeffect!!! That sounds like us although the room that gets most demolished is at the back of our house so hopefully we will be safe from kind hearted policemen

TheButterflyEffect · 14/12/2008 14:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Sakura · 15/12/2008 08:22

The tidiness of my house correlates exactly with how much TV my DD (2) has watched that day...So seeing as I don't think its good that she watches too much TV, not much cleaning gets done. But if she watches more TV I can get more done. So don't worry about other people with clean houses. Something has to give somewhere.
I cook from scratch every day so I'm a 'cooker' rather than a 'cleaner',and it seems that it is more acceptable to feed crap food and have a clean house than prioritise healthy food and have a messy house.
I have to say that as DD gets older it gets easier. I read it takes 18 months for a woman's body to recover from childbirth (iron levels, etc). For me this was about right. Towards the end of the second year I had enough energy to do the cleaning. NOw I'm pregnant again...

Yanda · 15/12/2008 10:18

My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy. That is what I always remember when I am trying to get the balance right.

georgiemum · 15/12/2008 10:20

They have maids!

BobbleBum · 15/12/2008 13:08

I find that if I don't put my glasses on or wear contact lenses the house looks remarkably clean! And miraculously my wrinkles have disappeared when I look in the mirror. So I feel much happier all round. I admit this solution isn't available to everybody though. And it does make it slightly more difficult to keep track of exactly what DD is picking off the floor and putting in her mouth.

BonzoDoodah · 15/12/2008 13:19

My mum printed out this poem for me why my baby was born and I was stressing about keeping the house tidy. It makes me cry every time I read it.

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

FuriousGeorge · 15/12/2008 13:34

After reading these posts,I have deduced that some of the reasons our house is untidy are;
We don't have a dishwasher,
We don''t have a tumbledrier,
We don't have enough storage,
We all have too many books,
I enjoy cooking/baking and always cook from scratch,
We do crafts/activities,sewing ect,
We live surrounded by a sea of mud.

The other reasons are that I am naturally untidy and would rather browse MN than wash up.

deanychip · 15/12/2008 16:09

lol furious!
we only just got the dishwasher, prior to that we washed up "by hand"!!
Clothes go on the maiden or on the radiator.
we have books galore...they get put away or in a neat (huge) pile somewhere!
i bake/cook, clean upa s i go along.
sea of mud....that one cant be helped sept putting wellies in the porch or in a cheepo plastic box in the door way....contain the mud girl!
storage IS a problem but then i have a clearing out/charity bag day once every few months to reduce the clutter.

disneystar · 15/12/2008 16:16

i love my dog i loved your post

me i have a dog but a small one doesn need a lot of fussing

i do have books but i have huge storage cupboards my tv cabinet is massive with sliding huge doors great for hiding things lol
pc is hidden away in storage unit as we only use the wireless router for the laptops now

in my dining room i have a huge long wooden table one end is a big bench with a lifting lid kids keep there craft suff in there

i can honestly say anyone can visit my home anytime of the day and its tidy
kids got loads of toys its just handy storage hiding them so they can just choose what they want

now i think space is a huge factor i have 7 children
if you have a smaller home how can you keep it so tidy i used to live in smaller accomadation it was a nightmare everyone was on top of each other and everything
now weve bought a 5 bed house and got 3 bahrooms 2 reception rooms a dining and separate lounge and study
point being there is a lot of space loads of storage and no mess
in the kitchen i have my area and the dc have there island for cooking as i only cook from scratch and have never done a ready meal in my life
it must be tough if youve got maybe 2 dc in one room or only 1 bathroom as how do you alot who does who

disneystar · 15/12/2008 16:21

deanychip washing up by hand do people still do that..................

it always amazes me how basic people live in the uk

disneystar · 15/12/2008 16:23

before i get lynched by mnetters i meant that in a nice way....

ohreindeerwhatamessysleigh · 15/12/2008 16:33

I would have a beautiful clean and tidy house if I didn't have children or dogs or books, went out all day every day so was never around to make mess, didn't cook, and didn't get bored with cleaning within 5 minutes. Sadly I fail on all these counts.

Playdough · 15/12/2008 16:44

There are two things that can help.

For a cleaner home, definitely get a cleaner. Even if only once a fortnight.

For a tidier home, make a rule that no-one goes up or downstairs without carrying something up/down with them (and putting them in the right bedroom). (It is important to treat your husband as an extra child in this respect. With apologies to all tidy husbands out there.)