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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how the hell people keep their homes clean?

134 replies

NoGoodAtCleaning · 13/12/2008 12:28

DP and I both work full time and have an 8mo. When I'm off work I want to spend the time with my baby, and my DP.

So the cleaning is getting behind and I'm really down about it. I'm sick of being embarressed of our home. And I'm sick of having to allocate days where I gut the whole house because the mess has built up.

Everyone else's houses are clean! My friend just had a baby and hers is spotless.

I just want to cry about it.

How do people do it?

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 13/12/2008 13:43

Do you need to vacuum every day if you are both at work all day and the baby at nursery/childminder? I would do it a couple of times a week. Don't set yourself unrealistically high standards, especially not at first, or you won't stick to it.

Daily:
A load of washing, PLUS the drying and then folding and putting the clothes away
Beds made
Washing up, putting away
Kitchen surfaces wiped
Kitchen floor swept
Cooker top wiped
Wipe bathroom sink, put bleach in loo and swish a bit
Quick tidy round
Deal with the post properly, ie don't just put in a pile!

Every 2/3 days:
Mop kitchen floor
Empty bins
Vacuum high traffic areas eg sitting room, hall

Every week:
Go through the fridge and chuck out of date stuff
Mop bathroom floor
Vacuum everywhere
Clean bathroom mirror
Change bedding
Dust

Original poster
NoGoodAtCleaning · 13/12/2008 13:44

How much is a cleaner?

OP posts:
tootyflooty · 13/12/2008 13:46

clean houses are a state of mind, just do the bits that show, when my dc were old enough to sit securely unaided in the bath I would clean the sink ,toilet, tiles ,floor etc I was with them but cleaned at the same time, same applies for the rest of the house, just keep on top of washing and hoovering and the rest slot in as and when. just as long as you don't get to "how clean is your house "filthy it will be fine.my mil used to say, you have to eat a bag of dirt before you die.!! any way a little dirt will help their immune systems out. It's more important to spend the time with your family, the dust only keeps coming back anyway!and your baby will only be small once.

treedelivery · 13/12/2008 13:47

Sod it. EVERYONE lives in a pig stye until someone visits, then kids get locked in their bedrooms and the place gets blitzed.

Thats my thoery and I'm sticking to it.

That's why texts were invented - so we never have surprise visits and can be prepared.

nellyup · 13/12/2008 13:50

ilovemydog your list is great and so true! My house is tidyish but scruffy and not terribly clean and whenever I get upset about it my dh reminds me about the very deliberate decision we made to prioritise healthy/ cheap eating. So I love Butterfly's ready meals theory - I cook therefore my house is messy. Sorted!

findtheriver · 13/12/2008 13:53

Going to work is usually a damn sight more interesting than doing the housework, so I would worry about it!

Have a quick, no fuss routine to stop it getting too bad... and then forget about it!

treedelivery · 13/12/2008 13:55

I mumsnet/laze/read about cooking meals therefore my house is messy. Am a blob.

love list ilovemydog!

NomDePlume · 13/12/2008 13:55

Just do the housework when the baby is napping

Yes, it's a bugger that the house isn't self cleaning. Yes, it's a PITA that stuff has to be done and that stuff eats into your family time. But sorry, that is part of being an adult, we have to do the crappy stuff as well as the fun stuff.

Given that you and DP both work f/t ehn yu both need to take equal share of the housework. I don't know how large your home is but with 2 adults blitzing it once a week should only take an hour or so. Not much really if it saves your sanity and your blushes !

I do think that doing as much as you can as you go along is the best way e.g. - clean the bathroom whilst your bath is running, one of you washes up/clears up after dinner whilst the other bathes the baby, pop a wash in the machine before you go out to work in th morning, make sure that before you go to bed there aren't loads of cups/magazines etc hanging around the living room.

I'm fortunate in that all of my children are now school aged (3 of) and I work p/t. Friday is my 'day off' so I spend all day cleaning my (not small) house from top to bottom. I literally drop the kids at school, get home at 9.20 and don the rubber gloves until it's time to head out to collect them. I don't stop. I know it is a soul destroying ball ache and I HATE having to spend my only day off cleaning the house, but I accept that if I am to stay sane (I go a bit stir crazy and can't relax if the place is skanky) then I have to do it. It is part and parcel of owning a home and having a family.

Your other option is of course get a cleaner in for a couple of hours a week to do the big stuff. If you really resent doing the housework and you can afford it then it is a very sensible option, I think.

dinny · 13/12/2008 13:55

is getting a cleaner an option? once a week makes a huge difference

treedelivery · 13/12/2008 13:58

Anyway - if we live in pristine houses our dd's wil feel under huge pressure to be all powerful yummy mummy types when they grow up, and actually we want them to be realxed and confident, and our ds's will seek out women who provide perfect homes despite episiotomy bums and milk leaking everywhere - amd we want them to be right on cool woman supporters.

So it's actually a parenting choice to live with dust bunnies and not be able to use every 2nd step as there are shoes on them.

revjustaboutdrinksmulledwine · 13/12/2008 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 13/12/2008 14:37

Life's too short to get overly stressed about housework. Don't be embarrased about it. All my friends know that if they come over my house will me messy as I'd rather spend my time on the computer playing with dd that dusting/cleaning.

ChristmasFairySantAsSLut · 13/12/2008 14:45

Awww, I know the feeling...I just think, that some people are just naturally putting things away as soon as they are finished with it and stuff, and then there are people (like us) that don't....
once I done a big clean, everytime wihtout a fail, I swear to myself I won't let it built up again....well, until I turn around and it all seems a ruined mess already and just start thinking...why bother....

there are more important things to worry about , I think

ChristmasFairySantAsSLut · 13/12/2008 14:52

Just printed off ProvincialLady's List it looks like something achievable.... Will give that one a try...once I done my big pre-chrimbo-clean....

Dannat · 13/12/2008 15:09

I find these links really helpful in tackling the place enough to make it presentable and then I have to say Flylady is great although I've fallen off the wagon a bit with it lately.

housekeeping.about.com/cs/15minutecleanups/ht/15minutebathroo.htm

housekeeping.about.com/cs/15minutecleanups/ht/15minutebedroom.htm

housekeeping.about.com/cs/15minutecleanups/ht/15minutekids.htm

housekeeping.about.com/cs/15minutecleanups/ht/15minkitchen.htm

housekeeping.about.com/cs/15minutecleanups/ht/lvngrmfifteen%20.htm

Turniphead1 · 13/12/2008 15:12

It's surely what suits you. The OP doesn't like having a house that is a mess. Some people are fine with it. As others have said, getting a cleaner even for a couple of hours should help (not least because you tend to tidy up "for them" which kills two birs with one stone).

Personally, I can't relax if my house is dirty. Mess is fine, as long as tidied up at the end of the day. I do have a cleaner twice a week which is a total luxury I know. But I make damn due that she uses her time to clean, not wade through piles of mess and rubbish.n My DC pick up after them, and I clean/tidy as I go (rather than having to do mega clean ups once a wek or whatever). Some people however find it much easier than others to keep tidy etc. Just the way they are. I can zap a room in about 10 minutes and still have time for playing with the DC and the of course MN...

babyloveschristmas · 13/12/2008 15:21

My DC are 7 and 4 and I go through phases when the house is okish and other times when it is a tip. I am pregnant at the moment and honestly starting to stress about the state of my house but I just try and think that it is not top of the list at the moment (same as when you have an 8 month old!). I just try and remind myself that if people come over its a mess - it is no big deal. I also (usually) cook a fair bit and this does take up my time and makes a mess, I have friends who have spotless houses but don't cook much! You will never get this time back with your DC so make the most of it.

Clary · 13/12/2008 15:23

Work out a schedule and stick to it (ie when to change beds, which days to hoover upstairs, which days to do bathroom etc).

Daily jobs can include quick whizz round with hoover and toy tidy-up - will make you feel much better. In fact yes, whatyou say in later post.

Bathroom - twice a week; sheets - once a week (2 diff days here for ours and the DCs'); kitchen blitz (doors and windowsills) once a week; dusting once a week; fridge once a week; hoover upstairs twice a week.

I have always worked more or less full time. I clean in the evenings mostly. It doesn't take that much time.

Top tip: if you have a spare 5 mins then do something even if it's only taking out the recycling or puttign away the ironed clothes (yes you must do this each day!!)

Mind you my house is too small for all of us and thus there is "stuff" everywhere, but we are working on that

treedelivery · 13/12/2008 15:25

Be great to have a clean clean and tidy tidy house though. Not to be attacked when you try to find a shoe under the stairs etc. I'd defo get a cleaner should we hit the good times and have the cash.

Myrrhcy · 13/12/2008 15:41

Agree, theprovinciallady's list is good.

Storage is another factor in being able to keep your home tidy and clean (something which has only dawned on me recently!)

UnquietDad · 13/12/2008 15:43

I have nothing to contribute except my usual observation: people with no books on shelves are WEIRD.

TheButterflyEffect · 13/12/2008 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

chloemegjess · 13/12/2008 15:52

I am the same and never have a clean/tidy house and hate it.

Dh's family all live in spotless houses and they never even get invited round here because of the mess of the house. It is sad as we always have to visit them.

Jux · 13/12/2008 15:54

Bet it's not as bad as you think. Our flat was a total mess while dd was a baby and I tried and tried to keep everything under control, was terribly embarrassed when anyone came round, practically killed myself - lost 2st in 18m!! One evening a friend of dh's came round, and I had been just too tired to do anything. He walked in and said "Blimey, this is tidy!" I was gobsmacked; he said "for a house with a baby it's amazing, no wonder you're so thin".

People who don't understand and judge you on the state of your place, aren't worth worrying about.

clam · 13/12/2008 15:56

Stuff the state of the house. Sounds to me as the only thing that needs clearing away in your house is your DH.
"your job as you are the mum???????" WTF???

Get THAT attitude binned for a start.

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