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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be hacked off with the 'creche' provided for the nativity today

75 replies

OhGetOverMyself · 10/12/2008 16:47

I know the school tried to solve an age old problem by doing it, but it was awful.

It was being run apparently by the 'qualified after school club staff' and we were all pressed into using it so nobody cried during the play.

I took ds2 into the foyer for the play and stood with him, unsure if he would be Ok left in a creche as he's never been left before really, he's 18mo.

Headteacher approached me and said 'were you not tempted by our creche' and I said I might try him and see how he was.

So I took ds2 along, put him down, he looked really chuffed and started to play. There were several slightly older children there and they looked Ok, if bored. Also a small baby (7mo) who was crying sadly and being carried around.

I tentatively left ds there and went back to the play.

I went back after 10 mins, he was still happily playing. Great except the baby was still unhappy. I felt awful for him but couldn't think what to do.
Anyway I went to watch the next 20 minutes and then went to check on ds again. Still fine, but the baby was still miserable.

Another child was lying in his buggy, blanketed to his chin - wide awake, looking at me, making moves to get out but the staff just came and stuck a dummy in his mouth, didn't try and play with him or lift him out

So I said to the woman carrying the baby, 'has he had a drink?' and she said no, there was nothing left for him by the parents, so I said can we just give him a cup with water in it? and she said 'Oh, well, I don't know, wouldn't it have to be sterilised?' and I said 'No, he will be fine' and she said 'I don't know about the water'

So I went and got a beaker with water in, ofered it to baby, who drank fulsomely after initial bemusement...he was really thirsty...eventually the woman asked for him back, and said maybe I should go and find his mum as he was still crying (my idea initially) so I did. The play was ending and I told her he wasn't happy and she said 'But we left him bottles in the bag, we TOLD them there were bottles' and looked really hacked off.

I was so angry. I don't think the people were qualified with young babies. I just thank goodness it wasn't for more than about an hour, poor little mite just needed his bottle or his mum

I'd have been fuming if he were my child. It makes me think twice about using something like that again.

OP posts:
roundcornvirgin · 10/12/2008 16:49

At least they tried.

southeastastra · 10/12/2008 16:51

i imagine if they're qualified after school club staff they're qualified for ages maybe 4 or 5 and up no younger.

DeckHallsWithFIMBOughsofHolly · 10/12/2008 16:53

At least your school provides a creche ours has a rule - no toddlers/babies AT ALL.

Your son was happy there.

Original poster
OhGetOverMyself · 10/12/2008 16:54

My son was fine, but the babies weren't.

There was another mother there who ended up taking her son into the play with her - she said 'these women are not even trying to engage with the children at all!' and she was right. They weren't doing anything.

I wouldn't have been so upset if they hadn't been told there were bottles for him and completely ignored the mother's instructions.

It was baffling.

OP posts:
Original poster
OhGetOverMyself · 10/12/2008 16:56

And I know the school tried but they made us all make excuses for bringing our childrne in with us (the ones who didn't want to use the creche) and it was really uncomfortable.

OP posts:
Marne · 10/12/2008 16:57

Im sure it didn't hurt, surely they were only left there for an hour. I wish our school would do the same, we have been told no small children allowed

Gorionine · 10/12/2008 16:58

I would have been fumming too. Poor baby. I am that they did not try to locate the mother in the play audience (it is not like she was in Timboktu0 when they realised he was not calming down. Where these people school staff, volonteres parents or hired nursery nurses?

Original poster
OhGetOverMyself · 10/12/2008 16:59

Hmm. I'm being unreasonable then I expect...

I disagree about it not doing any harm, I think a seven month old crying for an hour is a bit harmful if only in terms of separation anxiety and attachment and so on. He was tiny but knew he couldn't see his mum.

OP posts:
Original poster
OhGetOverMyself · 10/12/2008 16:59

They were paid by the school, apparently they run the afterschool club. I didn't even know there was such a thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
OhGetOverMyself · 10/12/2008 17:00

Glad you understand Gor

OP posts:
southeastastra · 10/12/2008 17:02

if they were being paid they should have been a little more useful! our creches for plays etc are all run by parents.

thisisyesterday · 10/12/2008 17:03

i don't think you're being unreasonable.

i would be very, very upset if I discovered my baby had been unhappy the entire time and that the staff looking after him hadn't bothered giving him his bottle, or come to look for me.

it's pretty poor.
i don't care if they were trying to do their best or whatever. it isn't good enough to leave a child crying for that long, esp if mum has told them that there are bottles there for him.

Saturn74 · 10/12/2008 17:05

I don't understand why schools seem to have a 'no younger sibling' rule nowadays.
It's a school play, not a season at The Barbican.

IME they'd be better having a 'no camcorders or mobile phones stuck in the air so nobody behind you can see anything at all' rule.
Maybe they should instigate creches for those people - stick a couple of dummies dressed with tea towels, one or two with angel wings, and a few stuffed sheep about the place, it'll keep 'em occupied for ages.

Original poster
OhGetOverMyself · 10/12/2008 17:06

maybe this kind of thing goes on in nurseries everywhere, I don't know, I can't bear to think about it if so

should I ring the school and tell them before tomorrow's session? Or should I offer to help out? I can run and get parents if it happens again.

OP posts:
WeWishYouAMiamlaChristmas · 10/12/2008 17:07

ditto to what thisisyesterday said

Original poster
OhGetOverMyself · 10/12/2008 17:07

Lol hC

OP posts:
morningpaper · 10/12/2008 17:08

I don't think you are being unreasonable

I think it shows that the school have a worryingly POOR idea about looking after very young children

Original poster
OhGetOverMyself · 10/12/2008 17:09

Thanks MP. It's one of those schools everyone LOVES and is very small and intimate. They are prob good with five upwards but honestly maybe they need to be told about the creche situation.

OP posts:
mumto2andnomore · 10/12/2008 17:11

Schools started not letting younger siblings in as so many plays were ruined by crying babies/toddlers. I know most of us would take them out if they started to cry but lots of parents dont and its not fair on the children to have their play ruined. The creche doesnt sound ideal but just for an hour they wouldnt have come to any harm.

I would just leave it you may come across as a little neurotic to be honest especially as your child was fine.

Original poster
OhGetOverMyself · 10/12/2008 17:14

It's not about my child. He was fine, I just think the way the other babies were catered for was crap really.

I know it's an effort to prevent the play being ruined, there's no easy answer but saying these people are qualified when they didn't even think about giving the child a drink is worrying..

OP posts:
Original poster
OhGetOverMyself · 10/12/2008 17:14

I prob will come across as neurotic but I think it's wrong. They think I am a loon already

OP posts:
moston · 10/12/2008 17:15

I think this is standard with nurseries to be honest.

And I don't think it will harm the baby for 40 minutes.

southeastastra · 10/12/2008 17:15

there are so many rules/regulations/procedures that need to be adhered to when working with children. maybe the staff were unsure what they could and couldn't do.

elkiedee · 10/12/2008 17:15

I would think a creche would be better for older more mobile babies/toddlers, eg my 19 month old would be a bit disruptive. Some smaller ones would probably be happy enough being fed while watching the play, eg the 7 month old.

thisisyesterday · 10/12/2008 17:15

i don't get the whole well, your child was fine, so don't worry.

what's that about? we aren't allowed to be concerned by the ffact that other people's children clearly weren'#t ok?

some people may think it's ok to leave a baby upset and hungry for an houir or more. I don't.
and I would be pretty cross if it had happened to either of my children.
it wouldn't have hurt them to come and find the mum would it?