to be hacked off with the 'creche' provided for the nativity today

[OhGetOverMyself]

I know the school tried to solve an age old problem by doing it, but it was awful.

It was being run apparently by the 'qualified after school club staff' and we were all pressed into using it so nobody cried during the play.

I took ds2 into the foyer for the play and stood with him, unsure if he would be Ok left in a creche as he's never been left before really, he's 18mo.

Headteacher approached me and said 'were you not tempted by our creche' and I said I might try him and see how he was.

So I took ds2 along, put him down, he looked really chuffed and started to play. There were several slightly older children there and they looked Ok, if bored. Also a small baby (7mo) who was crying sadly and being carried around.

I tentatively left ds there and went back to the play.

I went back after 10 mins, he was still happily playing. Great except the baby was still unhappy. I felt awful for him but couldn't think what to do.
Anyway I went to watch the next 20 minutes and then went to check on ds again. Still fine, but the baby was still miserable.

Another child was lying in his buggy, blanketed to his chin - wide awake, looking at me, making moves to get out but the staff just came and stuck a dummy in his mouth, didn't try and play with him or lift him out

So I said to the woman carrying the baby, 'has he had a drink?' and she said no, there was nothing left for him by the parents, so I said can we just give him a cup with water in it? and she said 'Oh, well, I don't know, wouldn't it have to be sterilised?' and I said 'No, he will be fine' and she said 'I don't know about the water'

So I went and got a beaker with water in, ofered it to baby, who drank fulsomely after initial bemusement...he was really thirsty...eventually the woman asked for him back, and said maybe I should go and find his mum as he was still crying (my idea initially) so I did. The play was ending and I told her he wasn't happy and she said 'But we left him bottles in the bag, we TOLD them there were bottles' and looked really hacked off.

I was so angry. I don't think the people were qualified with young babies. I just thank goodness it wasn't for more than about an hour, poor little mite just needed his bottle or his mum

I'd have been fuming if he were my child. It makes me think twice about using something like that again.

ach, I've never known a nativity to last for more than 25 mins. I think you're over-reacting

I think the worst thing tbh was you as a stranger deciding what this baby needed and steamrollering over the person that the mother had left her child with, who stated they weren't comfortable giving water, and just giving an unsterilised beaker to a 7mo. It was their role to care for him not yours and this was for the duration of a school nativity, not any length of time that would have affected this child in any way whatsoever. You should have kept your nose out.

I think it was good of the school to provide this, tbh.

They were carrying the crying baby. Good stuff.

The staff didn't play with or give a drink to a child that was safe (if bored) in a puschair for the very short duration of a school play?

Nothing to get stewed about, IME.

It's bloody disgusting. I would have at least expected a report at the end of the session regarding my child's "next steps" and a personal play plan . I would guess the staff were qualified but unexperienced with babies. Afterschool staff tend to have a child care qualification but perhaps from pre-school age and upwards. Shame the info regarding bottles wasn't passed on to the carer though.

It sounds as though this was a (very thoughtful) offer to look after (as in making sure they are safe) younger children so that parents and others could watch the school play for what? Half an hour?

I don't imagine they'll bother next year..

pmsl at hc

In the nicest way possible, I think you might be right you are showing definate loon tendancies.

Surely the babies mother could of left him a drink, also wish our school would provide a creche, thankfully i have someone to look after my DS otherwise he would interrupt the whole thing, when we went to DD's good work assembly he was shouting to her, scratching the chairs and just being disruptive so i had to leave, the younger siblings got to watch yesterday but i am secretly glad that younger ones aren't allowed so i can watch properly (selfish!!)

I have to agree with moondog. It was only for an hour, the parents were all on site. It was a temp creche not a day nursery.

It might have been sensible for the school to let the parents know that the after school staff only had experience with older children, and that essentially the children were being minded for that hour, not actively played with although that's what I would have assumed. It is surely the parent's choice to leave a baby in that situation, and they would know that it was safe but not much more? I would have been rather cross with you if I'd found out that you were giving my baby tap water from an unsterilised beaker at 7 months tbh. I am surprised that the carers were OK with that. I wonder why the baby arrived at the play hungry in any case? It seems a bit out of order to expect that the (presumably) small number of after school staff were OK with giving one on one care to a single child whilst caring for others. But the school probably does need to think about how they can get the attention of any given parent should their child be very unhappy during the play (they obviously couldn't bring a screaming child into the performance area, and I suspect their numbers weren't sufficient to have one carer leave the creche area. So maybe that is something to raise with the school?

YANBU, not playing with children, fair enough, it is only an hour, but not providing basic care of food/water/comfort - that's not on.

Thanks Nooka. I think you summed it up but honestly, since I logged out last night I have been going over and over what happened and i think I did behave like a complete nutter.

I am a bit scared now that the parents and staff will all think I am mrs Bonkers from Barking. It is a very small school and everyone seems to gossip about everyone - people have approached me since we started a few weeks ago saying 'I've heard the potted history from so and so, how are you getting on?' etc, and I am like' Fine thanks, who are you?'
which leads me to think it will now be common knowledge that I took it upon myself to 'save' this poor starving baby from the loonies who were 'looking after' him.

I am mortified and also quite worried about my own state of mind that I thought I was doing the right thing.

in my (poor) defence I didn't know the play was almost over, I thought it would be at least another half hour, it had already been an hour. There were plenty of staff to run and get the mother, about 4 of them, and only about 7 children.

Kyrasmum the mother did leave bottles and instructions.
I still think the staff were a bit rubbish, they just kind of handed himover to me, they looked bewildered and desperate and I was trying to stop the crying thinking his mother might want to finish watching the play - but still I should have just gone and got her, rather than giving him a drink. (I briefly considered breast feeding him but that would really have got me a kicking, I guess! And seemed OTT anyway)

Moondog I think you were horrid earlier, really uncalled for to start fgs- ing me and I don't think I deserved that. No idea why you were so livid about it. it made me cry and I logged off after that, thus the new name. Which I do admit is probably appropriate.

Thanks to those of you who tried to be kind in the light of my weirdo behaviour which I am thoroughly ashamed of. I don't know what got into me.

Oh the value of AIBU...can't even go and check I haven't caused massive offence as ds has been up all night with cough and temperature and headache.

Thanks MrsJamin as well.

I'm just wondering why the mother of said baby didn't feel the need to pop out for a moment, to check everything was OK?

If I'd left DS at that age with people he'd never met before, and I was in the next room.. much easier for her to stretch her legs for 1 minute (and assess the situation) than a tannoy announcement to the owner of the 7 month old boy with the sheep rug.....

StephanieByng, I don't think I steamrollered anyone. They handed baby to me with a look of despair. They could have said, 'no, I don't think we should give him a drink, one of us should go and get the mother' but they didn't.

Yes though I understand she would probably have been really pissed off with me for giving him a drink. I didn't know what to do and prob chose the wrong thing. I feel like a shit person about the whole thing. It makes me doubt my sanity/judgment rather.

Jackaroo presuming you haven't read the whole thread, 'stretch her legs' is a bit, ahem, well she is in a wheelchair. It wouldn't have been easy.

I think she had someone with her but I guess they assumed the baby was being given its bottle as per instructions?

fwiw i don't see why moondog always has to be so rude to everybody.

Is she? Glad if it wasn't just me!

Don't beat yourself up so! You were only trying to help, and if your ds is only 18mths I except the babies crying got to you emotionally. If there were 4 staff and 7 babies then that is a bit rubbish. If you are worried about how your reaction was perceived, then actually I would have a word with someone at the school, because they will probably be talking about it, and that way you can have a sensible conversation and forestall any gossip (exaggerations being likely).

I don't think you should be getting upset over it now either. You over reacted and made a mistake, thats all. I think crying babies can make some people rush in and want to help without lots of thought for the consequences.

You didn't set out to cause trouble or be a nuisance. Don't be too hard on yourself.

People may well be talking about it but you know next week it will be someone else, and then it's the holidays anyway. nooka is right, maybe speak to somebody at school about it. You do sound upset about it.

please don't think of yourself as a shit person, loon. You'r eover-reacting again . No, don't. You were doing what you thought right at the time, you were hurting no one. Come on. Straighten yourself up. You';re a good person.