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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman hasn't a clue what she's talking about and she's supposed to be qualified!

54 replies

ATadgeUpset · 09/12/2008 22:51

Be gentle with me I'm feeling very sensitive about all this, BUT ... AIBU to so pissed off with this woman?

I work for a large organisation that is well known to the public, I have been signed off sick by my doctor with PND, even though my daughter is now 15 months? I am into my second month sick and I have been made to go to an occupational health appointment with an 'adviser'.

So I went to the appointment today, the woman had my information wrong saying I was into my third month sick, she then asked me to explain why 'I thought I had depression', so cutting a long story short, I explained the 4 years TTC, 3 cycles of IVF, 1 miscarriage, horrendous pregnancy, unplanned C section and dreadful problems with the breastfeeding, all this leading to problems in my relationship and she just completely ignored all I said? She obviously didn't listen to some of what I said as she asked the opposite question to what I had told her, I ended up in tears as I had just spilled something that still torments me daily.

She decided that as my daughter is now 15 months it 'couldn't possibly be PND' and I'm not depressed 'just a bit emotional' OMG I nearly chinned her, I asked her if she was a doctor and she replied no, but knows about these things!!

My doctor did the scale thing and listened to me and decided I was depressed and gave me some tablets. This woman has now written a report to my employers stating I haven't got PND and they will then decide what to do?

I know it does seem late to be diagnosed with PND but when I look back at all this I have been like this since DD was 8 months, but I chose to ignore it all?

Sorry this is so long, I just needed to rant, I feel like I've taken a step back as I had started to feel better, then this bloody woman chose not to believe me.

OP posts:
Habbibu · 09/12/2008 22:53

Surely your doctor can also write to your employers? It seems insane that an OH advisor would try to over-ride a doctor's diagnosis.

So sorry you're feeling crap - really not what you need right now, is it?

Quadrophenia · 09/12/2008 22:53

what is she qualified in?
frankly I think its disgusting how dare she contradict your gp, would hot foot it back to your gp and explain the situation. Sorry you are going through this

scifinerd · 09/12/2008 22:55

YANBU, you poor thing. Of course PND can be diagnosed at this stage. This woman is an idiot. I would go back to your GP (or counsellor if seeing one) and ask that they write a letter explaining about PND. I am sorry you had to deal with this and hope it wasn't a set back.

moston · 09/12/2008 22:55

15 months is not late for PND diagnosis. I would complain to your company about this person you were made to see and get doctor to write to them.

MrsSeanBean · 09/12/2008 22:55

I had a friend in a similar situation once. She saw an occupational health advisor that didn't know her arse from her elbow. Surely what your doctor says is what does? I would go back to your GP and explain the situation and ask if they can confirm their diagnosis in writing to your employer.

Candlewax · 09/12/2008 23:00

My PND was not diagnosed until my ds was 14 months old!!! If she is not a qualified doctor, she is NOT qualified to give a medical opinion and I for one would be totally and utterly up in arms if my company had sent me to an unqualified person for a medical. In fact, I would have had MY qualified doctor write to my company to tell them how upsetting it had been and what her QUALIFIED MEDICAL OPINION was! God, I am so mad for you!

OptimistS · 09/12/2008 23:01

I am not a doctor or a counsellor, but you are definiely NOT being unreasonable. Even I know about the cumulative effects of dealing with infertility, IVF, etc. And I thought anyone with an iota of common sense knew that grief (about being infertile, about having a miscarriage, about any real or percieved loss for that matter) can take years to come out. I also know (despite never suffering it myself) that PND can be diagnosed very much later after the event.

I'd go back to your Dr and at the very least request to see a different counsellor. But I would also suggest making a complaint. You are sensible enough to recognise that this was wrong and post on here to seek validation. Someone else might believe this woman's twaddle and there could be serious consequences because of it.

TheCrackFox · 09/12/2008 23:01

She sounds like a twat.

3littlefrogs · 09/12/2008 23:02

An occ.health advisor cannot make a diagnosis. Even a qualified occ. health physician would not write a report without first writing to your GP and, if appropriate, your consultant.

Your medical history is confidential. Anything written to the O.H. Physician by your GP should not be shown to your employers.

The way it is done (correctly)is that the O.H physician or Nurse (not advisor - either the person is qualified or not, and advisor does not sound qualified to me)writes a report to the employer stating that advice has been sought from your doctor.

Only if your doctor gives a totally different assessment from what you have been telling your employer, should the OH doctor suggest a further assessment - and that should be with a specialist.

Do you belong to a union?

It sounds as if at the very least medical confidentiality has been breached.

3littlefrogs · 09/12/2008 23:03

X posts with everybody else.

mumhadenough · 09/12/2008 23:06

What an arse of a woman! My ds was 15 months old before I was diagnosed too as I did very well to hide/deny it up until then!

I hope you get things sorted and would follow much of the excellent advice you've been given already.

ScottishMummy · 09/12/2008 23:08

unless she has GMC registartion and is a doctor her opinion is not medical diagnosis,it is her professional opinion not a formal diagnosis

does she have conflict of interest is she paid by "result" or target to sign off employees?

go back to GP for advice.their report conformed your diagnosis discuss this further

this must be so stressful, try not let them bully you

consider union advice

good luck

3littlefrogs · 09/12/2008 23:10

The fact that she has stated that 15 months is too late for PND just proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that she has no medical knowledge whatsoever. It is disgusting that you were placed in a situation where you disclosed personal information to an unqualified person.

It is an offense to purport to be a qualified practitioner (medical or nursing) if you do not have the training and certification to back it up.

gigglewitch · 09/12/2008 23:10

Am also sitting here going GGGggggrrrrrrr. Idiot woman in OH. About the worst thing they could possibly do to you when you are suffering from pnd.
15 months is certainly not 'late', as others have also said. I was diagnosed at around 10mo after ds1 and have a friend who was diagnosed when her ds was 3yrs old!
Yet again - we keep on hearing it don't we, people who should know about PND simply do not.
We'll support you here, plenty of us who (unfortunately) have an idea how pnd works. Head back for the GP, and as someone else suggested get them to write to your employer - confirming from QUALIFIED DOCTOR what you're suffering from, and hopefully complaining about the way you've been "set back" if at all possible. Do you think they'd do it?
A final few words - Do Not Let The Bastards Get You Down!!
This is just what you do not need, at a time when even the tiniest thing seems huge, and it takes forever to think your way through / out of even a flippin supermarket.
Hugs (if you do them)

wotuhohohoinat · 09/12/2008 23:10

My Ds was 14 months old when I was diagnosed with PND. My doctor said he couldn't be sure that it was PND, although it was depression Occupational Health were rubbish - going to see them was just a hoop I had to jump through for work. Sounds like some conselling might help - it's such a relief to be able to talk about it to someone who listens.

moondog · 09/12/2008 23:10

On the other hand. employers have a right to scrutinise sick leave.Two months is a looong time to be off work.Bet you wouldn't all be so understanding if yuo were paying someone's wages while they stayed home.

KatieDD · 09/12/2008 23:12

I had exactly the same thing with income protection insurance, the cast was off but I still couldn't move my arm. The O T they sent around said I was fine, I had to resign but sued for unfair dismissal.
If you have any nonsense go and see a solicitor.

3littlefrogs · 09/12/2008 23:13

But moondog - there is a proper procedure and code of ethics within occupational health that is designed to help the employer and the employee. Employers do themselves no good at all if they do not follow it.

There is a world of difference between how one deals with a single period of certificated, long term absence, and multiple, short term, uncertificated absence.

edam · 09/12/2008 23:14

There's a world of difference between an employer trying to find out how they can help their employee back to work and using an unqualified person who clearly doesn't know arse from elbow to belittle and frighten that employee, though, Moondog.

3littlefrogs · 09/12/2008 23:14

Absences. (Fingers are numb with cold).

wotuhohohoinat · 09/12/2008 23:14

I didn't see the point in OH. I saw them twice. I had to ask several times to be referred, and saw them when I had been off work for about 3 months and then when it got to about 5 months. I thought they might offer some help but didn't. I've now been off work for nearly 12 months and haven't heard from them since May.

gigglewitch · 09/12/2008 23:15

the thing is, though moondog, they do (quite rightly) have a right to scrutinise sick leave, but should do so using a competent and qualified practitioner. I think the OP has explained her circumstances to someone who turned out to be an unqualified and untrained individual, who obviously had no knowledge of PND. It has left her feeling unsupported and traumatised, which is precisely what she did NOT need when suffering from a depressive illness.

edam · 09/12/2008 23:16

And the 'advisor' should have explained clearly what her role was, rather than pretending to be qualified to question a diagnosis.

moondog · 09/12/2008 23:17

I don't think long periods off work are good for people with mental health issues anyway. Staying home often the worse thing for you.Getting up late, staring at 4 walls, no stimulation, daytime tv.
Awful.

elkiedee · 09/12/2008 23:17

What everyone else says makes a lot of sense re her title and qualification status. I suspect like ScottishMummy that she's there to be on your employer's side - she's the bosses' adviser not yours. I know at work we've definitely had occupational health people, including a qualified doctor, who were all too often like that.

Are you a union member?

My impression is that it's probably all too common for there to be a long delay in diagnosing PND and therefore being able to get whatever help is needed.

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