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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that DD should use a car seat?

56 replies

wittyusername · 07/12/2008 21:38

Many of my relatives who are aged 45+ say that I shouldn't worry about a car seat for DD (nearly 21 months old)when they offer us a lift I'm learning to drive so not got a car yet).

My sister told me about a family gathering just before New Years' Eve and I told her that I'd like to go but can't really as DD can't go in a car without a car seat, to which she replied "It's up to you", in an offhand manner as if I was being overly precious about it .

Isn't it illegal, not to mention risky, to let my DD just sit in my lap in a car journey?

OP posts:
OhLITTLEFISHofBethlehem · 07/12/2008 21:40

They are being ridiculous!

Of course your dd must go in a carseat.

Habbibu · 07/12/2008 21:40

Up to 3 it's illegal not to use appropriate restraints. See here

TurkeyLurkyWithAllTheTrimmings · 07/12/2008 21:41

It is illegal and very dangerous. Tell them to get a grip and stick to your guns. Could you buy her a car seat to use so you can go?

Hulababy · 07/12/2008 21:42

Way too dangerous. You are right to resist.

ilovemydog · 07/12/2008 21:42

It's illegal - you aren't being precious.

ComeOVeneer · 07/12/2008 21:42

It is illegal way beyond the age of three. It is until aged 12 or a certain heigh (can't recall what though)

Habbibu · 07/12/2008 21:43

Sorry, yes, CoV - I was just referring to the age of the OP's dd - and that some very small exceptions are allowed for over 3s.

Hulababy · 07/12/2008 21:44

Law above 3y is a lot more lax still as there are so many expemptions. till dangerous though.

Under 3y I think it is illegal full stop - although I think taxis are exempt and cars without seat belts.

Original poster
wittyusername · 07/12/2008 21:45

TurkeyLurky - can you get ones that'll easily fit in a car like the Group 0+ size? I thought they had to be fitted. [confused emoticon]

OP posts:
treedelivery · 07/12/2008 21:47

Eh? Are they mad? Why risk a child's life for a party?

it's proven that noone can keep hold of a baby during an impact at 30mph, so a child that big would be straight through the winscreen/into the seat infront and then in hands of gravity.

Stick to your guns here and maybe see if a taxi service would be happy to book you a specific taxi that you know a car seat will fit in?

Original poster
wittyusername · 07/12/2008 21:49

Thanks everyone, I certainly didn't think I was BU... seems like a no brainer to me. Don't worry, there's no chance of me compromising on this one!

OP posts:
choosyfloosy · 07/12/2008 21:49

Oh God I get this from some older relatives ('he can come with us, there's not room for the seat', blah blah blah). luckily my mum had a scare with my older brother who as a baby was in the car with my dad, no restraint or seatbelt used (this was 1961), a sharp corner and DB fell out of the car, so she is very 'good' about obeying the law.

Take half a second to imagine what you would say to yourself if the worst happened - I find this useful when I'm nder pressure to conform against my own judgement. I'm absolutely NOT a paranoid parent but IMO child seats are not a product of paranoia.

piscesmoon · 07/12/2008 21:49

Insist on a car seat. It is illegal to do otherwise-like saying don't bother with seat belts or don't worry about having a drink or two.

ilovemydog · 07/12/2008 21:50

Ah, but it isn't illegal for a taxi to carry a child without a car seat...

prettybutterfly · 07/12/2008 21:50

Is this serious? And if it is, are THEY serious? Other than serious mentalists of course .... ?

No. Yanbu. Of course!

Gorionine · 07/12/2008 21:52

YANBU
I was once walking under pooring rain with DD1, (about 7/8 years ago) a friend of mine passed us with her car without stopping to give us a lift, at the very moment it happened I was quite ennoyed by it and brought it up with her ( nicely though). Her reply was that she had seen enough damaged babies to not want to put mine at risk (she works in A&E.) I now quite happily walk under the rain.

ThingOne · 07/12/2008 21:53

No, YANBU, they are.

TurkeyLurkyWithAllTheTrimmings · 07/12/2008 21:56

Ah just realised your DD is only 21 months - was thinking you could get one of those seats for 4-11 years (booster seat plus back you remove as child gets older).

Ignore me, I've had wine.

katiepotatie · 07/12/2008 22:03

YANBU - It is you dd's safety after all, my PIL are always saying "oh we'll just pick you up, she'll be fine on your knee" WTF?
My dd is 21 months too.

If your learning to dive could you not get your car seat now and use it in other cars till you pass your test?

Original poster
wittyusername · 07/12/2008 22:12

katie - I didn't think that toddler car seats could be used in different cars like the group 0+ ones - shows how much I know

Will have a google and check out the MN reviews...

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 07/12/2008 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PavlovtheRedNosedReindeer · 07/12/2008 22:30

Our maxi cosy does not need to be permanently secured, we have taken it out and put in other cars, and it is coming to USA with us.

It is, a Priory, have no idea whether that is group 0+ or whatever, it is a toddler one though.

feedthegoat · 07/12/2008 22:31

I have a maxi cosi permenantly fitted in our car and i have a britax freeway to move in and out of other peoples cars. It took me about an hour to practise fitting it before i was confident but once you get to grips with it its no bother. They are only about £50 new aswell.

Original poster
wittyusername · 07/12/2008 22:49

Just saw the Priori and Britax Freeway on the MN review page. Will definitely sort one out! Thanks for the tips

OP posts:
katiepotatie · 07/12/2008 23:02

My dd has a britax evolva, it is secured with the seat belt and can be moved easily (well with a bit of practice!)
My parents have a similar cheaper version they keep in their boot, for when my dad takes her swimming.